Does anyone remember that silly movie; actually there were a bunch of sequels, Chuckie. A puppet, Chuckie, comes to life and he turns out to be a maniacal killer. He can't be killed because he's a puppet. As the movie progresses he becomes increasingly more gruesome and sadistic.
Earlier this year I noticed I had a new "neighbor". I didn't actually see him right away, but found signs of his presence. He has become an unstoppable nemesis not unlike that crazed puppet.
You see I have a small vegetable garden with tomatoes, cucumbers, beans, peppers, squash and this year my girls planted carrots. They were very excited about eating carrots they grew. It turns out our new neighbor has a liking for carrots. And he's rude and impatient.
I went out to the garden one day to find all the carrot tops munched down to stubs. My girls were not happy. We had an idea of who this masticating marauder might be, but as yet had not laid eyes on him.
Then one early evening there he was brazenly grazing in the middle of our back yard, Chuckie! A fat little woodchuck. He heard us and bolted right under our deck!
Turns out he not only was dining on our vegetables, but he was squatting under our deck.
Talk about an uninvited guest. This was like having that sloppy, over eating old college friend show up at your door unannounced and spending the summer with you sleeping on your couch.
We or more like I mounted an attacked against this interloper. First a fence, but I could not block off the deck (the garden is right against the deck. Front porch dining for Chuckie).
Chuckie then expand his culinary curiosities. He started chowing cucumbers and next on to tasty tomatoes. He was taking out my low hanging veggies with methodical precision.
The next weapon in my arsenal on advice from some family members and the internet is moth balls. I salted them all around and under the deck where Chuckie resides quite comfortably.
The next day I saw my nemesis again grazing in the yard and snapped this picture. It seems the moth balls are not making Chuckie's life unpleasant enough for him to pack up and leave.
I am contemplating my next move and believe I have a solution that would end the problem once and for all. I'm a little reluctant to carry out the plan because I believe my neighbors might get alarmed if they hear gun fire.
I have enhanced the picture of Chuckie the way I would enjoy seeing him on our next meeting.
Hi James, Enjoyed reading your humorous account of dealing with this varmint. I used to have problems with rabbits and deer. They can be voracious eaters !
James, We once had our very own Chuckie. After several botched attempts to get rid of him, our youngest daughter finally got her long awaited teeny tiny little puppy who grew and grew and grew to 120 pounds.
Unintended consequence? Grown-up puppy thunders across the lawn = Chuckie's emergency evacuation. Victory!
Do not despair. Help is on the way. You are so in luck. I am an experienced hostage negotiator and, I must tell you, you are the hostage to Chuckie. I will be able to reasonably discuss his options with him and he will vacate. This negotiation may take about six weeks. I am packing as I write, but please send my plane ticket and assurances that I will have five meals per day and a comfortable place to sleep in the estimated six to ten weeks that I will be at your residence.
James, I think Steven has finally kicked out Nutsy. [Probably after Charles disclosed Nutsy's true identity.] The squirrel was even asking to come here but after offering him a dirt plot in the backyard, I've never heard back. At first I thought he was just jealous since Croakster vacationed here recently but now I understand.
Here is what I can do to help you out. I'll send a 120 pound Rottweiler to your home. That will take care of Chuckie and Nutsy too. Proverbial two birds with one stone and all that.
Bill, There is also a deer around, but it hasn't become a nuisance...yet.
Richard, Were they chocolate chip?
Kate, Yes a large dog might just send ol' Chuckie packing.
William, That thought has most definitely crossed my mind. I must score a preemptivestrike on Chuckie before he breeds.
Nutsy, I will send for you, but do not be confused as to the destination printed on the ticket. You must go Siberia to get to Connecticut. There will a lay over. I'm not certain how long, but do not despair as you wait and wait and wait.... I will be thinking of you.
Kate, I love efficiency. Send 'em on over.
Charlie, Your assurances are much appreciated. I'm still trying to come up with an explanation for gun fire in a residential neighborhood.
I am in the airport, do not seem to have the ticket yet. Time is a wastin'. Please send ticket ASAP so I can resolve your personal issues. Please remember, you do not get an offer like this every day.
James, I can send my Rotty to "escort" Nutsy on the plane also. Just make sure their seats are near an exit if Rotty feels the need to give Nutsy a boost. heheh
Kate, I think I would take Chuckie over Nutsy any day. I think your Rotty escorting Nutsy is a A-1 super idea.
Nutsy, There seems to be a glitch with the tickets arrival. I would suggest buying your own ticket, you are paid the big bucks, and I will reimburse you someday.
James, you can borrow my husband's trap. It proves to be successful and you can carry the little feller a long way off and drop him. How far is it to Mr. Charles's house?
Kate, We all know squirrels are good at digging holes and Nutsy is the champ.
Barbara, I thought of that trap your husband has when I wrote this blog. Actually even before when I was thinking of ways to get rid of Chuckie. I would be very grateful if I could borrow the trap. Mr. Charles's house is a bit far away, but I think Ms. Kates house is much closer and I know she's an animal lover.
I am back again....sigh of relief on your part I am sure.
I just taught a class in Portland for certifried home inspector assistants. And I had a thought, how about we train Chuckie to be your certifried assistant. He would not be good on wires like me, but he should be good at checking for and, if necessary, undermining footings.
Nutsy, The thought had crossed my mind. I think Chuckie would be hard to control. You see he likes to eat. He would be too distracted by vegetable and flower gardens to be an effective assistant.
I am a certifried certifried home inspector assistant trainer. I can turn Chuckie into your most valuable asset. I will need that plane ticket and about four months lodging. Awaiting the fare.
Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.
Does anyone remember that silly movie; actually there were a bunch of sequels, Chuckie. A puppet, Chuckie, comes to life and he turns out to be a maniacal killer. He can't be killed because he's a puppet. As the movie progresses he becomes increasingly more gruesome and sadistic.
Then one early evening there he was brazenly grazing in the middle of our back yard, Chuckie! A fat little woodchuck. He heard us and bolted right under our deck!
Chuckie then expand his culinary curiosities. He started chowing cucumbers and next on to tasty tomatoes. He was taking out my low hanging veggies with methodical precision.
Heheh Ms. Kate
Ms Kate
;)
;)
Hi James, Enjoyed reading your humorous account of dealing with this varmint. I used to have problems with rabbits and deer. They can be voracious eaters !