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Attack May be Imminent!

I've been watching them for about a week, now - about 20 of them. They've been slowly circling the house, apparently scoping it out from every direction. We're surrounded by trees and brush but I still see them from time to time - methodically, checking out every angle. They even pretend that they're not looking at us - - but I can tell they are.

It's obvious who their leader is - he's the big guy with the red beard, most likely known as "Red", or "Big Red", or maybe something even more ominous. You can also tell that the others defer to him so he must have a mean streak. I'll have to really keep my eye on him.

The problem with living in the country is that emergency services and the sheriff take a while to respond, but we're prepared. I keep the doors and windows locked and the pellet gun loaded. I don't think wild turkeys have ever killed anyone but, like they say, "there's a first time for everything"! :-)

Y'all have a Great Holiday weekend!

Mike

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Posted by Mike Hendren, Your Castle Rock Realtor® on 09/05/2009 09:34 AM

Comments (78)

Humor in the ActiveRain Channel

silly saturday, humor, turkeys

Originally posted at: Thru Mikes Viewfinder: Attack May be Imminent!

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78 Comments on Attack May be Imminent!

SEP

Very funny.....My original thought was agents scoping out an impending expired listing or a FSBO sign.

Have a great weekend!

I don't think turkeys attack like sharks. You should come back with a photo for us!

I'd have to say our turkeys around here seem quite a bit more docile !! Although I walked up on one hiding with it's babies. Let's just say with both sprinted in opposite directs!

I say take out a couple of them (Thanksgiving is not that far away) and make an example out of them and the rest will go away.

Mike: Hopefully if a kill is necessary you may be able to consume it.

Mike...

You are so my kind of Guy. You had me there. I thought you were give us a lesson on home security :)

If I lived anywhere near you I'd come help you shoot those turkeys. I'm an excellent shot and I don't even mind loading my shot gun with bird shot :)

TLW...ROAR!

Ben Franklin wanted to name the wild turkey as our national bird. Gotta watch 'em, they're clever...

Mike, thanks for the laugh and stay safe.

Mike - do take some photos of the turkeys. That's funny. Did not realize they would venture that close.

Mike, be careful out there! (You definitely got me) Keep us updated.

Mike,

Get all duded up in Pilgrim attire...that might do the trick. Or don lots of feathers...infiltrate...and see what they're up to.

I thought you were talking about agents on a good deal! LOL! But turkeys will do and they are tasty too!!!

@Nick...I have a mental image and it has made my day!

Mike - With Thanksgiving nearing, perhaps they're thinking of turning the tables, instead of being featured on one : )

Mike:

Wild turkeys are smart, the domesticated kind are less so. Do any of them have a gun? Remember that song "Cows with Guns." Maybe these turkeys heard it and are doing their own version. Have they been singing to you? ;-)

That is too funny! I was waiting for something entirely different! Great way to hook us in! LOL! Katerina

How funny.. get the gun out.

I love it Mike - I used to live in Co so I had a feeling where you were going and it sure did bring back memories on the ranch - and what a great day for a laugh out loud moment.

Hi Mike - Turkeys could be a metaphor for so many things these days. Didn't realize they were wild in Colorado. For some reason I always think of them being back east.

Twenty of them? Wow. I was guessing ants myself but you took me another direction.

Mike, how about some pictures of "Big Red" and company? Have a great weekend.

Hi Mike~ You had me going to a minute there! I could always fly my husband out there to assist you in getting your Thanksgiving dinner! He loves to hunt!

At first I thought you were going to get an offer with all of the circling the property like that!!!

Shoot the leader and I am sure most of the others will leave...then you just de-feather and freeze him and you will have a great Thanksgiving this year!!

Have fun, man!!!

=-)

I thought you must have been having a "fire sale". And, I suppose you were.

Cute post! You had me wondering. Don't they know, turkey tastes yummy!! I just showed property this week for a client, and the sellers had chickens. Both the seller and the buyer told me that they can be very mean, and they can attack. The seller told me to give them some of the grapes off the vines -- to appease them. What's up with the FOWL these days!! :-)

Mike,

Wild Turkey...I thought that was something you would drink?

Wild Turkeys? I expected to hear about Coyotes ... made me laugh!

Looks like you will need a freezer to keep these birds for Thanksgiving.

You were very successful in keeping us going..... producing a smile in the end! Thanks for that! Have a nice holiday weekend!

Diane Rice

Thanks to everyone for all of the great comments - you made me laugh and smile all day long!

I also appreciated hearing from all of you "kindred spirits" out there suggesting that I get some turkey dinner for thanksgiving, but I'm afraid my wife might nix that idea - I love to hunt, but will have to go shoot someone else's turkey. :-)

I guess my next project - if I can get up the nerve to get close to those "bad boys" - is to take some photos, especially of "Big Red"!

Take care and thanks also for the "Feature".

Mike Hendren

I used to go to an area that had hundreds of wild turkeys that did take over teh area.

Wasn't sure what you were talking about till I read the comments and saw it was turkeys. All the best.

Most of the turkeys I have been dealing with are wild, but don't SAY gobble much...

Clever post and comment! I too had to read until the end to find out who/what was circling!

Mike - You had to know that the title of your post would make us all curious to see what it was about. Very creative. You had me wondering like many others who or what the imminent threat was....thanks for the laugh tonight! Have a great weekend. :)

Sarah,

Hope I didn't damage you in any way...keep smiling.

I was thinking buyers for a rare distressed sale that was a bargain -- perhaps the wild turkeys are combining their efforts to venture into real estate -- just not in a legal manner.

Mike.. this was to funny.... Will the pellet gun put one of those turkeys on the table ?

SEP

Oh my gosh, Mike. That so reminds me of a story a few Thanksgivings ago. We went to visit my family in Washington state. My step-sister had decided that she and her fiance would buy a few turkeys to raise on their farm for Thanksgiving dinner. They lovingly fed them and let them run around in the yard for a year ahead of time. One of the turkeys stood out as the largest. But, that was because he was the bully. He ate everyone else's feed. He was also the one targeted for Thanksgiving dinner. My dad and youngest brothers are all hunters, as is my husband. The honor of killing the turkey for dinner was bestowed upon my husband. However, the gun that they handed my husband was not strong enough to kill the turkey (it was, basically only a notch above a pellet rifle).

When the turkeys were let out of the barn to roam around the yard, my husband took careful aim, shot the gun and was completely surprised that he seemed to have missed what looked like a dead-on shot. All it did was startle the turkeys. "Bullseye Bully" appeared to just be startled by the sound and looked around for the mosquito that bit him. My husband, upset that he didn't down the turkey the first time, took careful aim and shot again. This time, all the turkeys started heading into the barn and away from "Bullseye Bully" because they became glaringly aware that there was something amiss out there. "Bullseye" started walking around, looking a little stunned, trying to get back into the barn and away from the pelting and starting to get a little pissy about being shot at.

My husband began muttering under his breath that he couldn't believe he shot the thing twice and it didn't go down. What was he to do? That's when he realized that the shot that was in the gun wasn't strong enough. They remedied the situation with a stronger shot and my husband laid him out flat with the next shot. This turkey, after it was fully dressed, feathers removed and insides taken out, was over 40 lbs. That's a big turkey. But, we ate it all. There were over 20 people for dinner. We did have leftovers for a couple of days. That story, however, lives on even years afterward.

You got me. I was thinking circling buyers or some such and was very curious. The title itself made me have to read it to see what the story was.

LOL, I thought you were talking about buyers or other real estate agents. Great title.

I was thinking it was buyers too- Great twist- I say you bribe the leader with some "Wild Turkey" of your own and once he is a bit loopie- show him who is boss on the Ponderosa! If you feed him cornbread will he stuff himself?

Have you warned the leader that you have 2nd Amendment rights?

All Y'all (plural for the singular "Y'all) keep cracking me up with your comments! :-)

Heather, that's a great story that could be a Thanksgiving blog post of it's own!

When I wrote that, I never even thought about the other agents/buyers/sellers circling the house - how about - - bankers circling a distressed property? Lots of possible connotations.

So, I guess I'll have to pour myself a glass of Wild Turkey (after 5 pm of course) and contemplate my next move with the menacing "turkey gang"!

Have a great day!

 Mike

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Mike:

That's a riot!! I was hoping it was buyers.....

I live on a farm in southern Delaware. I raised a couple of turkeys from chicks. One of them died young and the other got so big that it could hardly walk. It was actually a pretty friendly bird. It would eat corn out of my hand. My brother, who lives over in Maryland, in the country, raised two turkeys too. His became so aggressive that he would have to use a broom to keep them from attacking people when they came up his driveway and got out their cars (me included). They were huge birds that would literally charge at me and try to peck me. So, lets hope your friends are of the wild variety that run "away" when they see people vs. domesticated turkeys which run "toward" people once they establish their territory. Keep the pellet gun handy (or a broom). PS - My turkey was attacked and dragged back in my field and eaten by foxes. My brothers turkeys were eaten by him.

We are loaded with those bad boys and girls here. They are not the best tasting, they are a bit tough. And I don't care HOW you cook them, LOL. Wild Turkey in a glass is far smoother! :D

I am waiting for pictures, any time I see them my camera is too far away. Then the photo opp is gone.

I'm thinking about using carrier turkeys to deliver my offers. Do the work cheap. Are they union?

Maybe they are waiting for Thanksgiving - trying to figure out if you are the place they want to call home...NOT

Mike, great story! LOL! You had me going with the red beard. I was ready to fire off a response when I saw the pellet gun thinkin 'no way a pellet gun is going to do anything beyond piss off Big Red' and then I get to the end. Marvelous.

I didn't know there were wild turkeys in Castle Rock. I'm adding my request for a picture to the list - I'd love to see Big Red! And I love Jack's 'carrier turkey idea'!

Heather, what a great story! Did your Dad knowingly hand your husband the pellet gun?

Methinks a turkey dinner is in the future. Hey if they let the homeless hunt all the canadian geese here they would not be hungry.

Hi Mike, You had me there for a minute.. very funny. Watch out for those 2 legged turkeys... we have a lot of them around here also.. but not the animal kind. (the human kind... just kidding...)

No, Liz. It was actually my step-sister's fiancee that handed him the gun. He thought it had something strong than that in it. Wrong!

mmmm turkey...and plenty of time to pick out Mr Wonderful before he's invited to Thanksgiving dinner...

So you've got 'em too! They planted the little monsters here a few years back and now they've become a problem for many. One family I heard of had 300 - and fish and game said "Too bad."

Meanwhile, my neighbor has about 40 and she feeds them. The flock would be unmanageable if not for the coyotes who manage them. They tend to make a wide path around our place most of the time, due to 3 dogs who think chasing turkeys is great sport!If I spot them in the yard all I have to do is open the door and holler "Get 'em!"

One day when the dogs were inside I heard a noise and found 3 of them searching for bugs in the wood shed. So yes, they'll definitely come in close!

As for turkey dinner - I've only met one person who tried it and he said next time they'd go back to a Butterball.

The only turkeys know to attack innocent people are the turkeys in congress. Maybe you should fatten some of these turkeys up for the coming holidays?

I think turkeys are waiting for their change to come in the food chain. Why not start it in Colorado? It almost was our national bird ya know.

Mike....It is upper time here...It is time for a turkey sandwich. Great post...you had me going.

Jerry Gray CRB,CRS,GRI / Prudential Carolinas Realty / Winston Salem, NC

Clever post Mike. You can show them who is boss when Thanksgiving comes around.

Thanks for the laughs, Mike! I also thought about agents/bankers circling the house. Funny, where our thoughts are these days. We have wild turkeys here too but they don't come near the house because of the dog.

SEP

Hi Mike,

Turkeys are simply looking for one of their own kind to live with in love and harmony.The question is are you one of their own kind?

This has got to be the most "interesting" featured post I've ever seen!

Mike,

Will one of the 'hombres grace your table on November 26th??? Tell the truth!!!

Kathy Opatka

Down here in Texas those birds would already be on the table. Oh wait it's dove season.

SEP

Are they doing the turkey trot?

:-)

I have had such a good time with this post - the comments have been priceless. In fact, I think the comments have been much better than the original post, so thank you all for taking time out of your busy days to read my "story" and share your thoughts.

We have a pretty great collection of people here at AR whose sense of humor can put a smile on your face on any day of the week.

So, thanks again and have a great day,

Mike Hendren

It's uncanny, though, how they will all disappear into thin air the day turkey season opens!

A friend of mine just sent out pictures of wild turkeys in his yard in Oregon.

Pretty funny post! Was trying to figure it out before you said turkeys! I agree, thanksgiving is coming up!!!

Amy L. - I know what you mean, but - - - one or two of these guys just might "disappear into thin air" before the season! :-) JUST KIDDING - the Colorado DOW would throw me in jail and my wife would leave me if I hurt any of these turkeys! LOL

Beth - I'm trying to get some photos but these guys can be pretty bashful!

Amy S. - Thank you, I'm glad I could make you smile. Many of the comments are even funnier!