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Healthy Debates | Choose Your Words Carefully!

Last night I had a very healthy debate on Facebook. While my comment was meant to make the point that usually the bad guys gain more notoriety...more recognition than those that really deserve the true recognition it seems the news gravitates to those who do not deserve the notoriety. That's right I was talking about Kanye West and Taylor Swift.

And the great debater...Kevin Tomlinson...taught me

Healthy Debates | Choose Your Words Carefully!

I am a very big fan of Kevin I watched him grow as blogger in the great competition...Project Blogger right here on ActiveRain!

One thing I learned from last night's debate...is one simple thing..choose your words carefully because they may come across very different than what the intent was...meaning...perception...and maybe my message wasn't clear.

The interesting thing a local Daytona Beach REALTOR seemed to insult us both stating his IQ diminished 10 points reading our thread! I admit...it made me realize many may not understand the beauty of social media.

It isn't just marketing...it isn't just to connect with your customers or your peers or to say good comment or thanks for writing.......social media is social and sometimes socially we do not agree...or our thoughts and ideas do not come across the way we intend.

It seemed to me...I was looking at it the same way Kevin did but the problem was my choice words! As I reread my words I could clearly see where he was coming from.

So the next time there is a great debate on a blog or comment that you post....don't take it too personally...just reread what you wrote there might be a chance your choice of words might be the cause of a healthy debate!

Thanks you handsome devil!

About the Author: Midori Miller is licensed in the State of Florida, BK645709 and currently hangs her real estate license with CENTURY 21 Sundance Realty. Midori is also a real estate trainer and an ActiveRain Ambassador and specializes in short sales for Daytona Beach real estate sellers. If you are in the market to buy or sell real estate in Daytona Beach, Florida..please contact us!

Posted by Florida Real Estate Trainer | Daytona Beach After School Training | Midori on 09/16/2009 02:38 PM

Comments (24)

Social Media in the Training Channel

debate, commenting, facebook, kanye west, taylor swift, kevin tomlinson, daytona beach realtor, midori miller, daytona real estate trainer

Originally posted at: Daytona Real Estate Training: Healthy Debates | Choose Your Words Carefully!

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24 Comments on Healthy Debates | Choose Your Words Carefully!

SEP

I find the same to be true in many forms of communication other than live face to face. Emails can lack the expressions needed to say certain things as well

Very true, Midori. By the way I almost left these words on your wall but changed my mind....West is a bum!

Hi Bob-I agree its all forms of communication...we might say something but really mean another! Thanks for commenting.

Gary-Agree! :)

It was a good, spirited debate. That guy from Daytona---I wanted to say....well obviously you are not that smart (with a large supply of IQ) so STOP reading here.

All in all I thought it was one of the better interactions.

Kevin-I thought it was a great debate and I gained a lot from it. My peer well what can I say...I really loved your response back to him...made for some great debate and lots of hearty laughter! It was an awesome interaction and I really gained something from it! Reread what you write...so that the intent matches the words! :)

Midori

Carefully selected words can be key to getting all your points addressed and not setting one self up for a rebuttal.

As one that is often in disagreement... with everyone... YES, we have to think about what we are saying. But there is always going to be someone that pushes as hard as possible to take things the wrong way.

And even when I disagree with you, I still like you... ;^ )

I have a bad habit of second thinking the words that I use when writing something even if I may have chosen them first.

I have a hard and fast rule of NOT debating! To me, it's the same as arguing. But everyone once in a while I get trapped, and I was taught to stick to the subject and don't veer off topic. Unfortunately, not everyone plays by the same rules. Lots of ppl love to get mean and nasty about things. Soooo, back to refusing to debate ;-)

SEP

No one can hear the inflection of a blog or comment voice...see an expression...catch a wink. I have had the "take personally" discussion with a few folks. To me....there is a difference between professional disagreement..politely...professionally...and blatant attack which to my mind speaks to "taking it professionally" not personally. You don't have to like my __________wardrobe, hairstyle, decorating, ...you don't have to agree with how I vote....If you disagree with how I negotiate a short sale, the price for which I list a property....disagree because it is a different point of view, not because as some comments attack fiercely...their way or the highway. Blog on !

It's a shame that healthy debate is lost on those who only see the world in black and white. Disagreeing with these people just enrages them..

Good points and I like your perspective!

Thanks as there can't be too many reminders to watch your words. I tend to write "stream of thought" and often get coached that I need to focus more on a single topic. One approach that works, time permitting, is to read what you've written out loud ... before you publish.

Midori, sometimes the text (words) we write are taken out of text. They sometimes cannot relay our true meaning or intent. I have to read a lot of things twice to make sure I am understanding or not misunderstanding things.

Morning Midori, What is that old saying about words and arrows ? Arrows can be retrieved but words, once spoken cannot !

Midori - you just emphasized the value of having a third party involved - such as a Realtor in a real estate transaction. Often the two sides agree on what they want, but aren't communicating it adequately.

very well said

Midori,

Thank you for the advice and I agree sometimes you write something which is taken completely out of context. When you go back and read it again you get the ah ha moment!

You need to be careful on line as there is no voice inflection. I have a very dry and a little dark sense of humor and I need to be careful (even in person) because some do not get it.

I had a client get upset with me the other day over a couple of short texts about an issue. You can't tell tone of course from email or electronic communication, and I was at lunch with my husband texting while he was in the bathroom. Short texts and client ended up mad because he felt I didn't care about the problem.

You said it best, reread what you write. Too often we type so fast as though we are in a face-to-face conversation...except the words stay around and we can't take it back.

SEP

That is one of the few things that I do not like about Social Media Midori...people can only read what you say and NOT how you say it. I usually try to give peo the benefit of the doubt. I just assume that it was written differently than they meant.

Very true your points are. It's hard to me because I'm a former stand-up comedian. Sounds like an interesting debate.

All the fun is in debating and shades of grey. It allows us to learn, and there is always a lot more of that to do.

SEP

I'm not sure if you are talking about your words Midori or those of the others you were exchanging with. I don't think that you are ever insensitive with your words or ever come across as too sharp.

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