Home : Blogs : Lyndon Sommert : Lyndon's Blog

Know When to Shut Up

Know When to Shut Up

It may sound a bit abrasive, but "Shut Up" is the only way to best communicate this idea. Real Estate sales involve moments of decision. Critical, turning point moments.

The parties involved may need a moment or two for the information to process in their brains to make those decisions. That is when you need to shut up. For example, on the telephone, you ask a qualified buyer or seller when you can meet them. Give them a couple of appointment options and then wait, silently.

When asking a buyer, "Do you want to write up an offer?" If you say anything else before they do you are probably not going to get that sale. This one principle, knowing when to stay silent, will help you double or triple your sale numbers. What will that do for your bottom line? I think you can do the math.

How to "Shut Up"

1. Never assume people need you to talk. The are usually just thinking out loud.

2. Bite your tongue after each of your closing statements.

3. Remember a sales person you have dealt with personally who wouldn't "shut up" and how you felt about it!

Lyndon Sommert

Advance Real Estate Training Inc./Realty Executives Leading

Owner/Broker

lyndonsommert@realtyexecutives.com

Ph: 780-962-9696

www.leadingsells.com

Posted by Lyndon Sommert on 09/17/2009 05:48 PM

Comments (97)

How to Shut-Up in the ActiveRain Channel

Generate short URL

This post has been included in Alberta Real Estate News
Post is included in group: Alberta Real Estate
Post is included in group: Edmonton's Real Estate Connection!
Post is included in group: Free Tools For Real Estate Agents
Post is included in group: Millionaire Real Estate Investor Referral Network
Post is included in group: Realtors®

97 Comments on Know When to Shut Up

SEP

2009

Confuscious say: wise man shuts mouth and opens ears!! And, what a wise man that Confuscious was!!

Lyndon, this really is a good post. I try very hard to remember to just "shut up" and listen. I think most are guilty of this, myself included...but I am trying. Thanks again.

Agents often ask me what to say to other agents about this or that. My advice is always the same.

"As little as possible".

With home buyers, lead the conversation to teach, demonstrate and inform. Then, listen, listen, listen.

As they say, you have two ears and one mouth for a reason. Use that which you have most of.

LISTEN. You will hear the information you need to proceed. Too many people don't listen because they are thinking about what to say next. Big mistake!

Listening is a skill. And a great number of people don't practice that skill!

Lyndon - A flawless basic that hasn't been repeated in a while.... I remember before I became a Realtor and I looked at a property. The salesperson talked the whole time, so I couldn't even THINK!

Hi Lyndon -- You are spot on and this is something I learned a long time ago due to some great trainers.

Great reminder for all of us! Sometimes I think I am so smart and I just want to teach all of my clients everything I know about mortgages when in fact I would be much smarter to just "shut up" and listen. Thanks!

Marcy took the words right out of my mouth. God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth. We should use them proportionately. :-) Great post, and a great reminder.

Lyndon, you are right. We cannot get the answer inside someone else's brain unless we take time to shut up...

My first manager and coach would have new agents practice silence. We would roleplay, ask a question and then have to remain silent for at least 10 seconds. It took me awhile to be comfortable with the awkwardness of the situation, but since then, I've been mindful of the power of silence. Almost all great communicators use silence as a tool. Never interrupt the process of the answer. Be quiet and wait for it.

Lyndon,

I believe this is true in any sales job. I also, find myself saying too much sometimes. I need to stop and listen more often!

Great post

Evening Lyndon, Great post ! Ever notice how much more you learn when you just " Shut Up !!! " ?

Lyndon, great post! Remember that the only thing that can sink a duck is its bill!

Lyndon,

Some people just don't like "dead air".

But, waiting for an answer can be worth its weight in gold.

Brian

I was lucky to have had a first broker who trained me to use silence advantageously -- because I came from radio where there is no dead air allowed! ;)

I know when someone around me talks too much I can't think clearly. So it makes sense to let people ruminate over the biggest decision they'll make in their life.

I enjoyed your post, Lyndon. It's very appropriate. When meeting with clients, I remind myself I am not the principal. I contribute briefly when I need to, then shut my mouth. It's the clients decision - let me make it!

I wonder if I talk too much. I have to ask my clients now. it is all about listening to their needs.

Great post Lyndon.
Listening is a very important skill.
"There are times when silence has the loudest voice" - L. Browniow

I agree saying as little as possible can sometimes keep you out of trouble.

Lyndon, I agree, CHATTY SALESPEOPLE ARE ANNOYING!

Lyndon, I agree 100% as well. We need to learn how to listen more instead of trying tp continue to convince them by talking more, explaining more and talking more. Let's "shut up" and listen more. Ask for then business then wait ................. Great post!! Thank you

My Dad used to say "he who speaks first loses!" I learned from him to ask the question and then SHUT UP!!! It has served me well!

Great advise,listening to somebody is great tool to judge somebody and you will know what they exactly want.thanks for the great tip tip ..

Lyndon - I love this post. I think this is something we should all keep in mind. I know I have a tendency to want to share more info at times when I should just enjoy the silence and let the other party think about what THEY ought to be saying, or at least give them time to think.

I think it's also important to carefully read the other party's body language, and know when, as well as HOW to shut up. Glad this was featured - it's a great read.

Jeff

I had a sales guy call on me today, I let him talk and talk, for every bit of 20+ minutes. Finally, he asked "Are you still there?" I said "yeah" and he kept on going. Finally, he got to the grand finale and I told him I wasn't interested. I think he was really P-O'd. Just one of those things that every salesman has to learn, when to communicate and when to listen. Listening is the bread and butter.

Good advice, I will make a point to remember this when I'm out with clients.

You made some great points- it is so important to listen to the client! After all isn't it all about them?

Lyndon, Nice post. You're getting a great reponse from a simple idea. That's pretty cool.

One of my favorite times to shut up is when my buyers are falling in love with a house. Instead of the usual jabber, I'll just step back, be quiet, and watch them sell the house to each other. I love to hear them tell me they want to make an offer instead of me having to ask.

Great advice! Gotta know when to keep silent...

Wonderful reminder. Two ears, one mouth. Pretty simple really.

Lyndon: I totally agree with you. Lately I've dealt with a few agents who did not have quite enough self control!

Lyndon, I am often amazed at how some of the top producing agents don't seem to know how to listen at all!

That is great advice and also very true in all areas of life.

It's natural to want to fill a silence, especially for many of us who are extroverted. However, this is a very important skill to learn.

Take alot of guts to LISTEN!

Less talk, more action.... First one to speak up looses.. Well, not always. The buyer may actually decide to write the offer.. then we have a win win

Thanks for the 3-step reminder. It will help immensely at tomorrow's listing appt.

SEP

2009

Most people do not know when to zip the lip. Great post Thanks for sharing it with us.

Sometimes you just have to know when to fold them. The less said the better.

Great post! I can certainly use the reminder to use my ears more than my mouth.

That's why we were created with ONE mouth and TWO ears. .

Many Realtors can talk a dog off a meat truck!

Lyndon:

, ... !

- .

Lyndon, I think there are those who are personality challenged. To explain what I mean I had a friend that said he didn't know what he was thinking until he spoke. I would describe him as an extrovert. While some of the brightest folks I know don't offer a lot of information, but I've learned to listen moreask them for their opinion. I have been greatly rewarded by what they had to say. I've learned over time to. There is so much to be learned by listening LOL. I appreciate your comment regarding what sounds like the timing of listening. That's a rich concept.

Joel Grey once played a Korean martial arts master in a movie called REMO WILLIAMS: An Adventure Begins...

He said, "A fool chatters...while a wise man listens"

Having been in sales for the last 20 years of my life, I can tell you that a buyer will tell you exactly what it is they need to hear to buy from you. You just have to have the ability to keep your ears open...and your mouth shut. Most sales people are oblivious to the skill of just paying attention and listening.

Lyndon,

Great post and a great reminder. Thank you!

The lesson for us all is simply.........

Less is More, at least when it comes to using our voices.

I've been teaching "The Pause" for years. Everyone in my audience agrees with the importance of silence an shutting up. But the problem is, humans aren't good at NOT doing something, they can only do something ELSE. (Don't think of the Statue of Liberty right now.)

Instead of don't smoke, breathe only clean air. Instead of don't run, walk. Instead of "don't talk" DO these things: count to six, wait and watch, be amused, determine the color of their eyes. It's much easier to do something than not do something.

Very well put! Our "rule of thumb" is every 3rd thing you say,in general, should be a question. The client needs to feel that they have a comfortable level of control in any process.

I think you have a very good point starting out i think i may have lost a couple of deals because i was so excited i wouldnt shut up thanks

You are absolutely right! Great post!

I love the "zip the lip" comment, I can hear my mother's voice. So true, it's amazing what you hear if you listen.

Lyndon: How true, how true and I know this firsthand, I'm sorry to say! Sometimes I will gab and gab out of nervousness, excitement or feeling like the silence is just too awkward. But, in real estate, it is best to just shut up. Listening is really the key.

Silence is golden and it does help to pause and let the other person "digest" and possibly allow them time to respond. I hate it when someone doesn't let me get a word in because they are doing all the talking. If they tell me that it's "a nervous habit", I tell them to stop because it is really annoying !

Lyndon,

When I was in college studying to be a teacher..they called it teacher wait time...and this principle is certainly one we need to develop....listening is a skill we need to develop and practice...

personally I cannot stand a chatty catty I just like to get to the point I say what I have to say then its silence and lets hear what the client has to say other wise how do I know what he wants

As someone who loves to hear herself talk, I couldn't agree with you more. Luckily, I learned early on in my real estate career to "never sell with blah blah, what you can sell with blah." Silence has been my best sales tool ever.

You are so right! We sometimes need to Shut Up and listen..!

Oh for sure "shut up and listen"

Great reminder in your post today.

Patricia Aulson/portsmouth nh homes

Lyndon: Amen. Shut Up has been the prevailing thought in my mind recently. I don’t say it … but I am thinking it. Blah Blah Blah …. How about listening!!!! Too much noise and not enough listening … not just in sales … in life!

Thats a very good point! Let there be silence!

Lyndon: Silence is golden. I will often leave a room for parties to discuss if they want to make an offer, counter an offer, accept an offer. Great post.

I wish I had this advice several times. I know when I should shut up, but sometimes I let my mouth get in the way!

Learning to keep my mouth shut applies to more than real estate.

Even when presented with objections, sometimes it's best to let the buyer figure out the answer rather than try to talk them into a solution they might not like.

Talking too much can talk you right out of a sale.

Lyndon - Great advice no matter what the situation is. Thanks for the reminder. I think I'll shut up now.

"A closed mouth, does not allow foot"

Clayton Bonjean, Broker

www.mainsailrealtycompany.com

I was just at a previous client's home that wanted to list the home for rent. He asked that I bring over the realtor to let them know what the home owner know what needed to be done to list the home.

The realtor walked around the house with the home owner and just listened to what they thought needed to be done. The realtor then added a few small touches and gave valuable insight as to why they needed to do it. All in all, they were very please and the realtor didn't say much at all.

Great reminder, Lyndon! Shutting up is something I need to practice more :).

Well put! I learned early in my career to say less and listen more - I do know however that when dealing w/ first time buyers and sellers you sometimes need to say a bit more to inform them on how the process works - great post!

Lyndon...

Most of the time I do shut up. You can't find out so much just by closing your mouth and allowing someone else to open theirs :)

Besides...I don't believe in open mouth insert foot. That's no way for a lady to behave :)

TLW...ROAR!

Great reminder Lyndon!!!

Thanks!

Loose lips sink ships.

True, true. A needed reminder in these days and times. And you're right, sometimes you do have to be just that to the point, subtlety won't work, and being nice won't either.

I remember a time early in my career when I learned this lesson. An agent (who was my partner) and I presented and offer and I kept talking and talking and talking. When we left the room she told me, very nicely, that I should have kept my mouth shut. I learned a very valuable lesson that day. I was trying to defend my offer and the more I talked the more the seller's eyes glazed over LOL

Great advice and I love it. One of my best skills is listening and my clients love it. I even had some of my clients to tell me that they love me because I'm not so pushy. Of course everyone has to do what works for them. What works for me is to present the facts and then "shut up."

Boy, if i had a nickel for every time I wish i could tell a client to shut up, I wouldn't need to work until 90 in order to retire.

I always remember..."Salespeople talk themselves right out of a sale." I've learned that lesson a time or two. Listening is a lot harder than talking, that's for sure.

Sometimes agents just talk and talk and talk... and the buyer walks. Stop. Slow down. Let the BUYER talk and tell you what he likes/doesn't like before you rattle off all the flaws about the property.

Great post. I have to work on this a little more. Silence is golden and will get you much farther than blabbing all the time.

Sales basics 101. The 10 seconds of silence can seem like 10 minutes at times.

SEP

2009

Very true Lyndon. How many times have we talked ourselves OUT of a sale? This principal applies to marriage: when something negative comes to mind...Know when to ... lol

loose lips sink ships... I agree with your post 200% ! Something I have tried to tell my agents over and over... As Dick Synhorst always said if you keep your lip zipped you wont prove how much you dont know! thanks!

There is nothing more irritating than being badgered by loquacious agent. Let the customer think quietly. Silence is golden for a reason!

2 ears and 1 mouth equation. This is hard for those of us that love to yap about anything and everything. I have to try hard!

What a great post! yes I myself am guilty of not listening, sometimes. this is a great reminder, and I am going to try and listen more intently, instead of talking. thanks for sharing!

Most realtors do love to talk and I'm no exception! Thankfully, I realized that 'silence is golden' years before my real estate career,. thanks to several chatty (pushy) car salesmen and even when shopping for shoes or clothing. I still have to remind myself at least once a week! :-)

You are correct. Sometimes being silent is best in business. Often it ends up that the chatter is nervous energy and the other party needs to make a decision.

SEP

2009

Great advice! You will learn more when you hold still and quiet.

SEP

2009

Great reminder. What's that old song lyric, 'a little less talk and a lot more action?". We've got to remember than 'active listening' is an action!

SEP

2009

Realtors are the biggest 'babblers' that I've seen in sales. They are their own worst enemies with the close.

Great post Lyndon. You couldn't be more correct ~ brad

SEP

2009

Thanks to everybody for commenting on this blog. I always remember a client I was with, an investor who wanted to buy several properties and ended up being over 50% of my sales one year. He was an introvert, when we walked through homes there was barely a word said, and after 10 minutes of silence in each home all I would say is "so what price?" and we wrote on about 25% of the homes we saw.

Now it seems like this was just easy money, but years of experience taught me to mirror clients, if I would have talked to just hear my voice that would have been the most selfish thing I could have done, and of course the results would have been much less sales and probably the loss of the client.

Silence is one of the most pwerful things that we have to work with, and used correctly will create hundreds of thousands of dollars, and quality clients that will use you forever.

Here's to shutting up!

Cheers to all of you

Lyndon

OCT

2009

Lyndon great post. As a "new" agent somitimes you get too excited and forget this very important point

Thx, Ken

OCT

2009

"Learn to Listen" This is my motto. You will hear more about your clients and what they want. Do not be afraid of the silence.

Leave a response…

Name:

Email:
(optional)

Comment:

What does the graphic say?

Lyndon Sommert

Edmonton, AB

More about me…

Realty Executives Leading/Advance Real Estate Training Inc.

Address: #1-14 McLeod Ave., Spruce Grove, AB, T7X 3X3

Office Phone: (780) 424-5577

Email Me

Listings

Links

Realty Executives Leading

Archives

Find AB real estate agents and Edmonton real estate on ActiveRain.

Disclaimer: ActiveRain Corp. does not necessarily endorse the real estate agents, loan officers and brokers listed on this site. These real estate profiles, blogs and blog entries are provided here as a courtesy to our visitors to help them make an informed decision when buying or selling a house. ActiveRain Corp. takes no responsibility for the content in these profiles, that are written by the members of this community.