A few days ago I authored a blog about how to piss off a listing agent. Tonight we'll discuss how to manage the craft of pissing off a typical buyers agent.

In no particular order:

1. Incorrect Directions. Buyer's agents love it when a listing agent says LEFT or RIGHT without using NORTH or SOUTH! You have to understand that the reason it's important to use directional compass readings is because it tells you where to go, regardless of which direction you are coming from.. In Houston, our MLS can fine a listing agent for using improper directions.

2. Dysfunctional cheap combo lockbox. Nothing makes an agent want to kick the door down more than a rusty, crusty and inoperable piece of garbage lock that doesn't work correctly.

3. STUPID Riders on a sign that say "AREA SPECIALIST" - Why do you do this? I'm the specialist because I AM bringing the buyer, REMEMBER?!

4. A Listing Agent who calls for feedback Immediately after the showing needs to have whip cream sprayed all in their hair, face and mouth. GIVE THE SHOWING AGENT A BREAK!! WILL YA? Could you be anymore DESPERATE? I just love the cheesy reasons for calls.. "Hi Greg, I just wanted to make sure everything went okay."

5. When you write up the description on the MLS and it says "BEAUTIFUL INTERIOR." It better be. I don't want to see 47 Roaches laying on their back twitching and decaying in the corners of the room. Are those empty beer bottles in the toilet? THIS IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!

6. That GIANT, sweaty, dirty, UGLY, hairy, sloppy, cross eyed mammoth of a DOG wasn't included on the showing instructions!!! DAMN! That scares us! I don't care how "friendly" it is! Why does it have different colored eyes?

7. I LOVE It when the showing service says alarm code is pound 1234, then that's it. They never tell you WHERE the damn thing is!! I despise running around the house looking for the keypad! BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP! Heart racing, buyer's nervous! PLEASE TELL US! THIS ISN'T the third grade! We are not playing HIDE AND GO FIND!!!

8. Your ugly listing has a GIANT city water tower in the backyard, HUGE power lines and a manhole in the front yard.  To top it off, It's OVERPRICED and within sniffing distance of Taco Bell. Then on your flyer you have the nerve to write: EXCELLENT FIND!

9. Would somebody PLEASE define TLC?! Last time I checked it stood for: TENDER LOVING CARE.  Listing Agents love to say "In Need Of Some TLC." I am tired of driving up to a home that looks like it's been hit by multiple artillery shells. A $100,000 home with $40,000 worth of repairs isn't in need of TLC, but a GUT JOB! OKAY?!?! A HANDYMAN SPECIAL doesn't include PERMITS, BULLDOZERS AND FOUNDATION POURING!

10. Who in the hell leaves their A/C on 89 during showings? Are you serious? In Houston the humidity gets to a sweltering 90% in the summer. IT'S HOT! And you have your home set to BAKE? That's just wrong!

 

 

 

 

 

 

production award  RE/MAX HALL OF FAME, CLASS OF 2011

The information contained in this blog is believed to be reliable and while every effort is made to assure that the information is as accurate as possible, the author of this blog, and its comments disclaim any implied warranty or representation about it's accuracy, completeness or appropriateness for any particular purpose. All information is copywritten and the property of Greg Nino.  

 

 

 

 

 
This post has been included in Texas Real Estate News
Post is included in group: AR Comedy Club
Post is included in group: Diary of a Realtor
Post is included in group: EXPRESS WITH WORDS AT ACTIVERAIN
Post is included in group: LATE NIGHT - EARLY MORNING AT ACTIVERAIN
Post is included in group: OFF TOPIC Goofing Off Club

38 Comments on Excellent Ways To Piss Off A Buyer's Agent!

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

SEP
22
2009
379,643 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Your killing me brother. Now I have to change my shorts again. LOL, This is good stuff.
9:10am • #19
230,294 Points 14 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Hey I like Paddy's reasoning - you're just testing the PD's response times for the buyer, right??

How about showing up to show a short sale, and the bank has been by and changed the locks, listing agent didn't even know it!

 
9:17am • #20
512,429 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Good list, Greg.  Don't forget, it's beside a huge drainage ditch, in a flood plain, has a cracked foundation, smells like a kennel, and is directly under a flight path.
9:40am • #21
237,378 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Okay, this time I totally relate to and could even expand on all your points, Greg.

But my absolute, all-time favorite that still keeps happening is when I do a search for a home with a garage and end up showing my buyers a home with a CONVERTED garage. The listing agent puts "2" in the box on the MLS for garage size. It makes me go ballistic.

Cheers,

Robin
10:38am • #22
222,333 Points 9 Featured Posts

Greg,

I had a brokerage I was competing with for a listing tell the client that the combo lock boxes were more secure than the electronic ones agents use. 

I explained to him that it was more likely they were too cheap or didn't have the money to buy the electronic ones which actually allow you to track who has been in the house.
10:50am • #23
425,063 Points 22 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I also would like to know ahead of time if the agent has decided to go creative and put the lock box somewhere interesting (like a lamp!!!).
10:51am • #24
238,110 Points 1 Featured Post Attended Rain Camp

u r right on all accounts.

I love it when the showing company says its on supra and then you get there and there is a combo.
11:06am • #25
596,136 Points 70 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Greg - OMG!  I can always count on you for my morning laugh.  Working mostly with buyers and their agents, I hear these all the time.  Thx for putting your witty spin on them. 
12:13pm • #26
281,719 Points 1 Featured Post

Will look forward to part 2! I'm sure it will be even better!
1:04pm • #27
873,549 Points 167 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Greg - I could relate to every single item on this list.  Nicely done - hilarious!
1:33pm • #28
520,370 Points 25 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Thanks Greg, I needed a laugh after working on short sale deals all night and day.
1:50pm • #29
870,582 Points 200 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Jason - Glad you liked it!

Marilyn - :-)

Donne - I always love making you laugh!! :)

Angelia - DANG! I forgot about that one!

Rita - LOL, or a tree limb!

Brian - ha ha, I do the same thing.

Robin - that's FUNNY! hee heee

Shirley - NICE! great stuff

Sheree - oh lovely, that would certainly piss me off.

Paddy - oh man it irrates me to no end when that happens. but i'm glad you got a laugh out of it!

Caron - Thanks for the comment

Kathleen - I'll actually be in your neck of the woods after Turkey Day!

April - YIKES! That's happened to me too!

Leesa - AREA SPECIALIST! LMAO!

bryant - serves you right, just kidding

Laura - I'll take that as a compliment!

Marcia - HA! I love the analogy!

Ruthmarie - I cannot believe that some listing offices do this! WOW!

Jeanne - Yikes again! That has happened to me too! lol

Mark - Thank You!

Ralph - no one. just havin some fun, that's all.

Capitis - thanks for saying so!

Margaret - HA! I love it! I'll be borrowing that if you don't mind!

JO JO- where the hell have you been!!! Glad to see you around again!

 
1:57pm • #30
870,582 Points 200 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

You bet Larry!
1:58pm • #31
178,295 Points 6 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Hit Router

Excellent list Greg.  I'm going to have to go find your other one.  Not to long ago, we drove up to a home and noticed the expansive cemetary immediately adjacent to it.  My buyers didn't even want to go inside.  Upon reviewing the feedback, the LA sent me a nasty note describing how upset her seller was that she spent time cleaning and we didn't even go in.  I refrained from responding, but I wanted to inform the LA that she could have indicated the issue and saved her client, my client and myself a whole lot of time. 
2:01pm • #32
870,582 Points 200 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

That's soooo annoying Erik, thanks for sharing man.
2:03pm • #33
648,311 Points 63 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Hi Greg,

I'm from NY - densely populated and supposedly very modern...but certain parts are behind the times...way behind the times.  Admittedly, some complexes don't allow lockboxes.  In Scarsdale you have to go from local office to local office to pick up keys.  Sometimes its five stops for five units and then you gotta bring 'em back!  Others, its a hunting expedition. "Keys are located on the furthest garage door from in the building adjacent to where the unit is. There are at least 10 lockboxes there but you will find ours because of its distinctive sticker"  Well - there are THREE buildings adjacent - WHICH ONE????  And while you are at it - define "furthest garage." Also, how unique is your "sticker."  My winner for the most bizarre prize last week was - you have to go to Bronxville (10 minutes each way from the unit - so 40 minutes plus parking & parking meters plus gas) OR you can drive to the agents HOME and fish them out of a private mailbox!  Go figure.

Some do this to "control" the listing in an attempt to keep it "in house."  It discourages showings. The brokerage most notorious for this is huge - and given its location - the tactic works like a charm.  Downtown White Plains is a rather large city and the parking Gestapo works overtime.  You have a choice:  Park in a multilevel complex and  spend $0.75 to pick up and the same amount to drop off.  The $1.50 is a minor irritant compared to actually finding a spot and waiting for the elevator or running up & down 4 flights of stairs. OR.... you can illegally park and risk a $25 ticket.  Several agents in that office seem to have never heard of lockboxes.
3:49pm • #34
144,737 Points Hit Router Attended Rain Camp

Greg, you always make me laugh, have a great evening!
8:29pm • #36
SEP
23
2009
204,385 Points 2 Featured Posts

Spilled my coffee reading this stuff.  It's hilarious, but sad at the same time!

 

-
8:16am • #37

This post made me laugh today.....thanks!
11:01am • #38
SEP
25
2009
519,220 Points 12 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I can really relate to these but the lockboxes annoy me the absolute most.  I hate when it's an old remind me of high school lockbox.  If you are not going to use the electronic lockboxes at least use a relatively modern combo lockbox.  I really hate when there is no clue where the lockbox is and I have to play hide and go seek to locate it.  I once went to a listing where there were 4 lockboxes on various doors, faucets, etc and the combo I got from the agent didn't open ANY of the boxes.
7:36am • #39

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

Login or register to leave a comment
 
Profile_180px Rainmaker_large

Greg Nino Houston Texas

Houston, TX

More about me…

RE/MAX West Houston Professionals

Address: 7825 Hwy 6 N Ste 112, Houston, TX, 77095

Cell Phone: (832) 298-8555

Email Me

RE/MAX REALTOR® serving all of Houston, Cypress, Katy, Spring and Harris County. Available 7 days a week. Residential resale, new construction and leasing.


Listings

Links

Archives

RSS 2.0 Feed for this blog

Find TX real estate agents and Houston real estate on ActiveRain.