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Don't Assume or Judge without the Facts

Don't Assume or Judge without the Facts

Have you ever jumped to a conclusion about someone or something that has been totally wrong? We all have, but hopefully we have learned from that experience.

Assuming or judging is one of the worst things that you can do in the Real Estate business. I figured out pretty fast that I would make a lot more money if I didn't project my thoughts or feelings on others.

Let's look at it in a different light. If I keep an open mind in every situation, receptive to whatever happens, adjusting to the circumstances, I place myself in the strongest possible position for a good outcome.

We cannot control every outcome, but we shouldn't prejudge or predict what will happen. Other people don't necessarily feel the way you or I do. People believe things or do things for their own reasons.

Skip the assumptions and judgments and you will end up with more money in your pocket.

How to "Not Assume or Judge without the Facts"

1. Realize you can't read minds and it is difficult to read a book by its cover.
2. Play the devil's advocate and constantly ask yourself, "What if?"
3. Use multiple qualifying questions to get the real deal.

Lyndon Sommert

Advance Real Estate Training Inc./Realty Executives Leading

Owner/Broker

lyndonsommert@realtyexecutives.com

Ph: 780-962-9696

www.leadingsells.com

Posted by Lyndon Sommert on 09/22/2009 11:18 AM

Comments (60)

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60 Comments on Don't Assume or Judge without the Facts

SEP

2009

This is good advice to have not only in Real Estate but day to day life. Thanks for sharing this great advice.

Get the facts first??

What a concept.

Lyndon,

Great post. Facts and truth are important in every transaction. Question often and adapt. Simple things that can help you grow a successful business.

Jeremy Williams
Keller Williams Realty NE
Kingwood, TX
www.williams4yourhome.com

Well said!

Great advice for all of us to live by!

Great advise, I will try to remember this in my business and personal life.

Well said....thanks for the post today/

Patricia

Lyndon-

It's always a good approach to put yourself in the other party's shoes. In real estate, this is especially important, because you are often dealing with the single biggest purchase in your client's life. Thanks for the reminder.

Lyndon -

Whether we like it or not, there are two sides to every story and whether we want to or not, listening to both can sometimes make all the difference.

How often do we hear that 'buyers are liars'? But if you put yourself in their shoes, you'll find out that there are often valid reasons for this. That's why I keep a broader list of homes in the queue for just the thing. When you are out with clients you have the opportunity to educate them. As they see more homes they question all their original assumptions. Things change and we need to adapt too. Don't assume you know what your client wants, especially now when it may take showing several homes to find the one they like.

Great post and comments.

Very good advice (for personal and business lives). So often we do make assumptions that we understand what someone means without double checking that we are truly on the right track. I remember a buyer saying they wanted to downsize into a small home, so I'm starting to hunt for homes in the 1000-1500 sq ft range - only to find out they meant minimum 2200 sq ft! Lesson learned!

Tall order as we are all different, think different, react different because we are human, full of feelings. If we were listing, marketing and selling to Vulcans our job would be cut and drive, no spikes or need for lawyers to settle disputes. If you whisper in Susie's ear a story and she does likewise down the line by the time I hear it, things have been left out, added to and not the same communication. Not everyone says what they mean and mind readers we are not.

Many years ago I used to have a poster of a Native American with the caption, "Lord, help me not to judge a person until I've walked a mile in his mocassins." My kids are all grown with kids of their own, but that poster had a big impact on them and I have heard them quoting it to their kids.

Yes, I have been guilty of judging before knowing all the facts! Such great advice!!

My father grew up in the depression and has lived his life very conservatively. You would not look at him twice walking down the street. Yet he's the epitome of the millionaire next door.

Lyndon: Your advice is good to practice ... and receive. Hopefully we all move forward reminded and better in practicing this. I appreciate the well-written nudge ...

Gene

I always "try" to remember we all see different sides of the same elephant. Some see the tail and some see the sides. All the same animal just different perspectives.

Don't jump to conclusions. You may be wrong. We can't control what is going to happen. Simple but elegant post!!!

Lyndon,

We have to be careful about jumping to conclusions. Case in point, I recently thought someone had "unfriended" me on facebook. It turned out she had just taken her facebook page offline for a while so she could re-do it.

Excellent advice, all too often we do judge a book by its cover. However given the plethora of choice and the scarcity of time, we do judge quickly, and then move on.

What are facts, really, but another man's delusions?

Ha! Miscommunications happen SO OFTEN in real estate, it is AWFUL!!! It does pay to take time and get the facts straight. Never assume the worst and be open to thinking your way through each situation. Answers come when we are open to them!

Lyndon, It also helps for us to remember that most of the decisions in real estate are not ours to make. We are just mediators and/or agnets. It's out jobs to edcuate and counsel. Leave the decisions to the buyers and sellers.

Never assume we know what others will do.

My mom always said "Don't judge a person until you walk in their shoes."

Lyndon,

Oftentimes, an answer will appear quite straightforward, however, when you actually get all the facts, it's not so straighforward after all.

Brian

The assumptions people place on what seems obvious can leave tooth imprints in the proverbial butt. :)

Lyndon - this is an important reminder for us all. It is far to easy to make assumptions in our business and in real life. So often they are not accurate and without taking time to ascertain the facts we can make bad or inappropriate recommendations, or not take certain actions that we should if we were to know the facts.

Jeff

Hi Lyndon. I notice that some people are quick to judge which of course can be very annoying.

Hi Lyndon -- Very wise advice here. I would add something I learned once from a very wise trainer: Ask: "Why's That?" These two words have done more for me in learning what is really important to consumers and then it provides me with a framework on how to craft solutions to meet their needs.

Lyndon,

Good advice. In most case people are just trying to do the right thing. The more we lift people up the higher we climb.

This goes for everything in our life. Last night I was in a discussion with a man I had just met that day (I'm at a conference) We were talking about several items that I totally disagreed with him on, BUT by the end of our discussion, I had changed my position on a couple things. And he had come to my side on a couple things too. (and then, of course, we still disagreed on a few things-and thats ok!)

I keep learning this on a deeper level. In real estate, I never assume someone is avoiding my phone calls. Most of the time, they call me in a few days happy to talk to me. Now, I've extended this thinking while driving. If someone is driving their car in an annoying way to me, I think of all the legitimate reasons for their behavior, such as: they have a newborn in the car that they keep looking at. Or, their pet just died (as mine did a couple of weeks ago). Not assuming they are talking on a cell phone or intoxicated or a "girl" driver has helped me to quit judging others in all kinds of circumstances. Can't say I'm guilt free but your post reminds me to keep working on it.

Lyndon...

When I was a managing broker, I learned to get all of the facts before coming to a conclusion. It was hard at first, but once you get used to the idea it makes the decision process much easier!

Reminds me one day when I was giving a class in real estate and I was ecstatic that day about my daughter saying her first sentence where I actually understood her . .

Simply, I was sharing my happiness to the people in my class. .

Someone asked how old was my daughter and I answered she was only 15 months old. .

then someone else jumped in and said. . "My niece was saying long sentences before she was a year old "

I look at this person and added. . I neglected to tell you that my baby had 3 operations already and the fact that she can talk now is a miracle to my wife and I. .

Everybody was silent for a long time and I used the opportunity to teach agents. . .

Don't presume and assume about any of your clients until you have walked a mile on their shoes.. .

and only then boast if you feel superior to them. . deal?

Assuming usually gets us all in trouble at least once a year. Me sometimes more than once a year.

Sometimes we all get ahead of ourselves and we shouldn't. Thanks!

Hi Lyndon~ It takes a lot of practice and experience to learn to NOT judge or assume anything in about another person. Unless you have walked in someones shoes you do not truly understand them.

I'll never forget a statement I heard my husband, the engineer say once: "Please spare me the editorials, just give me the facts."

SEP

2009

I spend most of my day trying to tell my customers this exact same thing!! Get the whole story before you make a decision as to whether or not a product or service is really as good/bad/etc as someone else says they are....

Been there done that and always regretted it. I do get wiser with age though. Joy

Lyndon;

Good words. When we as human beings began to recall that there is only Oneness in the Universe and we are all connected, we will no longer judge or label others. For when we label or judge another, we are judging and labeling self!

Peace to you all!

I am overwhelmed with all of the comments in my recent blogs. As an active agent and trainer I've found that giving without anticipating anything in return always is the best thing to do in all cases. I refer to a movie I once saw "Pay It Forward" and if you haven't seen it, it's a must! It moved me so much that I was keep its principles in my mind, whether I am with a buyer showing a house, a seller trying to get them the most in their pcoket with the right terms, or just sitting down with a new agent one on one.

It's too bad that our world has gotten so fast paced adn everyone being so independent that I truely believe that we can get back to where we once were, where everyone shares and everyone benefits, such as on activerain.

I also believe that most people feel the same way, but I better be careful and not assume!

Thanks to all of you!

Lyndon

I always find myself playing the 'devil's advocate' - and then people around me assume I'm crazy and judge my intelligence. But asking questions before making decisions works well for me. (Fernando's story made me cry.)

This advice should also be applied to our fellow Realtors.

Thanks Lyndon for your comment about "Pay It Forward" How many give without expectation of a return? Help people and good will follow you. Help a hero today. The original post is right on too.

Brad - Homes for Heroes

I try to play the devil's advocate whenever I can and look at things from all sides. It's good if you step back from a situation and think about it

Great post. Lots of interesting comments, insights, and information.

Thanks,

Morning Lyndon, Good reminder ! All of us have been there - done that ! The key is to learn something positive from it. Well done.

I have forgotten this from time to time. It never ceases to amaze that my clients actually come up with that I never would have expected.

Great post, we need to remember this in all our dealings with clients and with other Realtors. I was talking to a Realtor the other day that said a company in our area was going out of business because they quit advertising in a certain media. I know the group and knew that they weren't. Assuming and jumping to conclusions hurts everyone.

Lyndon, Thanks for the great post. It's a simple concept but challenging to practice with every interaction, especially if it's a new way of thinking or being. :)

This is something I have had to learn not to do with homes. One persons dump is anothers cozy cottage. One person sees a big luxury home and another sees a lump of stucco.

Great post and many excellent comments. Sometimes we can learn as much from the comments as from the blog. I think we all have a tendancy to "Assume", I know I do. So... I keep reminding myself when you assume you make an Ass out of U and Me.

SEP

2009

Great post Lyndon. Oftentimes jumping to conclusions can lead to lost business. However, giving people the benefit of the doubt almost always results in great results or no results. However, there is no lost chances when you assume the best about people.

Good advice - never assume and do take what you hear with a grain of salt. I don't even believe what I read in newspapers any more, because I know the reporters are quick to jump to their own assumptions and conclusions.

Now - do you think I'm assuming wrongly when I say that I think you have a few spam comments in here? I spotted 3 of them...

Great advice, and I admit, sometimes I am catching myself jumping to conclusions without thinking the situation through properly ...

SEP

2009

Great advice & thanks for the reminder.

OCT

2009

Short, sweet and to the point! Thanks for shining a bright light on this topic. I always need reminding.

NOV

2009

First impressions can be wrong. I have trained myself to wait before I make any conclusions.

SEP

2010

This is especially true when they are complaining about their previous realtor. I always reserve judgement on the other realtor until I have been their realtor for a while.....Maybe it wasn't the realtor....

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Lyndon Sommert

Edmonton, AB

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Realty Executives Leading/Advance Real Estate Training Inc.

Address: #1-14 McLeod Ave., Spruce Grove, AB, T7X 3X3

Office Phone: (780) 424-5577

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