Attention Boaters-- Go Directly To Jail

This is one of those stories that'll make you laugh, but it's really not that funny.  But I still laughed.

I've got a friend who's a very straight-laced guy.  He was in the Marines and grew up with only sisters and he's a very honorable, all around good dude.  Everybody likes him.

Anyway, he was driving the other day.  I was with him and we were just running errands.  It was about 1:00PM when the police pulled us over-- right in the middle of the day. Nobody was drunk, so I know he wasn't getting pulled over for DUI.

Turns out my friend had a warrent for his arrest, because-- get this-- last summer the Water Sheriffs stopped his boat and issued a "citation" for having a fire extinguisher that was about a month past the expiration date. That was the only ticket issued that day.

Anyway, so I'll call him "Bill"...  Bill thinks its a "fix it" ticket and haphazardly left it in the boat's glovebox and forgets about it-- truly believing that it could only be nothing.  The cops were even friendly when they wrote it.  "No big deal one," of them said."  I am sure of it!

I think his plan was to just bring a new fire extinguisher the next time we hit the marina and before we ever went out again....and forget about it.  We are pretty responsible boaters, to be honest.

Turns out having an expired fire extinguisher on a boat in Arizona is a crime. One that you may need to go to trial for. You can go to jail.

But you always get some jailtime if you are charged with a second crime: Failure To Appear.

Bill forgot the ticket in the boat's glove box and, well, out of sight and all that jazz.

I take his car home as my friend is led off into handcuffs.  He would have to go to jail-- quite literally with murderers and all kinds of baddies waiting on trial in Superior Court.  One of the crimes must have been a felony, because they shipped him 45 minutes away to Superior Court.  I hope it was the failure to appear.  Because he should be able to explain that.

I tried to bail him out.  I couldn't afford it.  You see, when one of your charges is actually "failure to appear," they don't trust you as much when you ask to be let out a second time.  His bail was $2800.  It took me a while, but with the help of some friends, we got him out.

Can you imagine overlooking one little thing like the date on your fire extinguisher and the next thing you know, you're locked up in a very, very tiny cell for 36 hours?!?  I won't even mention the food.  Lights on constantly...  No windows.  And he decsribed things that are far too gross to find platform here.

The thing is, we only take the boat out once per month.  It's not really on the forefront of our minds.  Not that I checked, but the last time we took the boat out, the extinguisher was definitely good.

It was his first time in jail and it was a doozy.  He's, got, like seven really good stories over the time period of 36 hours.  Maybe I'll write about them here sometime.

So the point is boaters, and especially boaters in AZ:  Check The Dates on Your Fire Extenguishers!  (Or learn to use the toilet in tiny room with 24 men staring at you.)  Be more diligent than my friend was-- it is not a "fix it" ticket, even though that seems to make sense.

Because, call me crazy, but this seems a whee bit excessive.

Here's another doozy:  "Wakeless Speed"-- that means that you are in a no-wake zone, and you are good as far as you know, but if you are going over 5mph- wake or not- you are guilty of wakeless speed.

P.S.-- I can't find a an AR boater group.  Does anyone know of one close to the theme?