Carnac is quite pleased. He thought he was being forced into retirement. Things had gotten down right boring around here. I mean... how many blogs about flat people and parties can one person handle? Yawn. And then BAM, the proverbial poop hit the fan. There were dirty diapers and everything!! So much good stuff happened that it was hard to keep up. Thanks guys! Yep, Carnac is quite pleased.
Let's start with some good news - five new Active Rain Awards are announced.
In addition to the previously announced, "Painie in the Rainie" award and The "Special Kind of Stupid Award",
new awards include:
1. The ARDELL DELLALOGGIA Bait and Switch Awardfor the blogger who writes the most teaser blogs redirecting visitors to their "real" blog.
2. The Wild and Wacky Widget Awardfor the blogger who can fit the most widgets in the right side bar without causing Active Rain to tilt.
3. The Bob Award. Just because Bobis originally from Pittsburgh and so am I. (How about them Pittsburgh Stillers, huh Bob?)
4. The Jeff Turner Sometimes You just Gotta Have Fun Award , given monthly to the Active Rainer who likes to have fun while enjoying technology to the max. Jeff Turner wins the award in June, July, August, September........yadda yadda yadda.
5.. The Chris Elizabeth Griffith Easy come, Easy go Awardfor the blogger who has their gold star snatched from them just as the celebration begins. In a clash of the moderators, Chris got a gold star for this post- YAY. Her star was taken away - BOO. Her star came back. - YAY. It was taken away again. Boo. C'mon guys, what is up with THAT????
P.S. The above situation spawned a whole new flock of mini awards including: The Panties in a bunch award - The Knickers in a twist award - The bug up their rump award
So here we go.....Carnac's Summer Predictions:
1. Although listings will no longer receive points, points for jokes will now be doubled. (Yes people, this will be retroactive).
2. 213 members write a post whining about not getting featured. Their whining posts immediately get featured. The other 34,469 members start whining.
3. 84 AR members will find their true love on the Rain. Flat Active Rain Gods are fedexed to the weddings held around the country. Get ready for some very boring blog posts people - you didn't really think they'd blog about the honeymoon, did you?
4. Speaking of true love... Craig "Give Peace a Chance" Schiller and his true love Jane Fonda, produce a love child named Hillary. In a gesture of friendship they ask VRWC* members Brian Brady and Linda Davis to serve as Godparents at Hillary's baptism in Chicago. In response, Brian and Linda shout together "HELL NO, WE WON'T GO".
*Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
6. The Active Rain Gods change the rules but don't tell anybody. Again.
7. In an effort to improve the quality of posts, the AR Gods hold a contest called "So you think you can blog?" Broker Bryant is almost disqualified when TLW refuses to give up her parking space. In the end, justice prevails and winner Broker Bryant receives an all expenses paid trip for two to the Codger Lodge.... plus a hug from every Active Rain member. The second place winner writes a post whining about the contest. And, you betcha, their post is featured.
8. Bloggers actually start publicly asking for other bloggers to subscribe to their blogs. Ick.
9. Moderator dart boards are now available in florescent pink and lime green.
10. Project Blogger is canceled due to hmmmm ....just because.
And Yes.....Dr. Phil returns again with advice to all Active Rainers: "Chill out people. We're only talking about points here."
WAIT........Don't leave yet....
THIS JUST IN!!!! Active Rain is sold to Home Gain. The Active Rain Gods become instant millionaires. They make a final farewell tour across the nation.
AND...In an unselfish gesture to share the wealth, the Gods give 1000 bonus points to all members. SWEET!!
P.S. Don't miss next month's Carnac. Subscribe to this blog. Ick.
There I said it.
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