LSU/ Louisiana Joke- Louisiana Boy Gets Stranded

Louisiana Boy gets stranded- (Long- but funny)

T-boy  Boudreaux finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on  a
Caribbean cruise and proceeds to  have  the time of his life until the boat sank.
 
He found himself  swept up on the shore of an island with no other people,  no  supplies...  Nothing. 
Only  bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the  beach one day when the most  gorgeous woman he has ever seen   rows  up to him. In disbelief, he asks her, 'Where you come from? How you 
get  here?'

 'I rowed over from the other side of the island,' she  says. 'I landed here  when my cruise ship  sank.'
 
'Datz amazing,' he says. 'You waz really lucky to have a rowboat  wash up > wit  you.'
 
'Oh, this?' replies the woman. 'I made the rowboat out of  raw material  found on the island. I whittled the oars from gum tree  branches; I wove the  bottom from palm branches; and the sides and stern  came from a Eucalyptus  tree.'
 
'But ... but ... datz impossible,' stutters T-boy.  'You ain't  got no   tools or  hardware. How you manage dat?' 
 
'Oh, no problem,' replies the  woman. 'On the South side of the island,  there is a very unusual strata  of alluvial  rock  exposed. I found if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln,  it melted into forgeable ductile iron.  
I used that for tools and used the  tools to make the hardware.' T-boy is  stunned.
 
'Let's row over  to my place,' she says. 
 
After a few minutes of rowing, she docks  the boat at a small wharf. As  T-boy looks onto shore, he nearly falls  out  of the  boat. Before him is a stone walk leading to an exquisite  bungalow  painted in blue and white. While the  woman  ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, he can only stare  ahead, dumbstruck.
 
As they walk into the house, she says  casually, 'It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please. Would  you  like  to have a drink?'
 
'No, no tank you,' he says, still dazed. 'Can't  take no mo a dat coconut  juice.' 
 
'It's not coconut  juice,' the woman replies. 'I built a still. How about a   Pina Colada?'
 
Trying  to hide his continued amazement, he accepts, and they sit down on her  hand-woven couch to talk. 
  
After  they have exchanged their stories, the woman announces, 'I'm going to  slip into something more > comfortable.  Would you like to take a shower and shave? There is a razor  upstairs in  the cabinet in the bathroom.'
 
No longer questioning anything,  T-boy goes into the bathroom. There, in 
the cabinet, is a razor made  from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow-ground edge are fastened  on to its end inside of a swivel mechanism.

 'WOW!  Dis woman  iz  amazin',' he  muses, 'whatz  gonna be next?'
 
When he returns, she greets him wearing 'nothing  but vines' strategically 
positioned, and smelling faintly of gardenias. She  beckons for him to sit 
down next to her.
 
'Tell me,' she begins  suggestively, slithering closer to him, 'We've been out here for a  really long time. I know  you've  been lonely. There's something I'm sure you really feel like doing 
right  now, something you've been  longing  for all these months.

You know...' as she stares into his eyes..  
 
He can't believe what he's hearing!
 
'You mean ...',  
  
as he swallows  excitedly, 
  
'We  gonna watch the LSU game from here'?