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"Friending"... When Less... Just might be More !

Real Estate Agent with New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County

September 29, 2009 06:45 AM

Earlier today another Rainer wrote a post critiquing an article she read... which said agents should "avoid using 'real estate' as a way to connect with others."

Since my criticism is not of the writer, but of her idea... I will choose not to use her name. But... I wanted to share my response.

I had not read the article she was referring to, but from what she had to say about it... I had a pretty good guess at what it might be. I also just wanted to add my "two cents" to the concept, too.

Building an extremely wide group of "friends" you really don't know... other than labeling them as so-called "friends"... how deep do those relationships go ? Sounds pretty superficial.

Whereas...building simple friendships that actually ARE relationships... sounds like a much more lasting "connection" to make. Not everyone is interested in real estate. At least not at the moment. So... using real estate as a central point in making friends"... well, to me it just doesn't do much. Imagining myself just as a normal... whatever that means... a normal person outside real estate... why would I be "drawn" to someone in real estate ? I don't know if I would be.

But either being drawn to someone with whom I had a common interest... or drawn to someone because I had come to know what a great person they were... which means someone I could actually BE a friend with and to... well... THAT, at least for me, would be a better ultimate source of business... if that's what I was looking for.

I would much rather have thirty, or even ten, or five good folks that I knew... who really "knew" me... and called me a friend... than a thousand folks on some online entity who superficially called me "friend." But... to each her own.

But... bottom line... if it works for you... or for whomever... and has proven itself to, that is what you should focus on.

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Edward Bachman

EXIT REALTY SOLUTIONS - Kingwood, TX

Your Kingwood TX Realtor

There are a lot of different layers to an onion.....in other words, what works for some may not work for others but a "real friend" will always be a treasure compared to simply having a long list of names on a sheet of paper.

Sep 29, 2009 06:49 AM

Gary Woltal

Keller Williams Realty - Flower Mound, TX

Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth

Karen Anne, that whole friending thing creeps me out too. These people, most of them, don't know you at all. Acquaintance at best. Real friends over time I agree develop a bond with common interests, real estate or otherwise.... great thoughts as always.

Sep 29, 2009 06:52 AM

Irene Tron

Valparaiso, IN

Karen Anne, I agree. Not only are true friends few and far between but friendships develop over long periods of time. The time helps build the trust in each other.

Sep 29, 2009 06:54 AM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Edward: Of course, what works for some will not work for others... but right here, in your comment... just you mentioning the idea of onion layers... makes me want to rush down to a nearby restaurant called Cheddars... and order their Chicken Dijon for lunch. It comes smothered in dijon sauce, of course, but also with a huge "layering" of mushrooms... and when I request them... lots of "layers" of onions, too. Mmmm... I love onions !

So... my friend... LOL... thanks for the great suggestion. Bye, now. I'm going over to Cheddars. Yum !

Sep 29, 2009 07:12 AM

Paul S. Henderson, REALTOR®, CRS

Fathom Realty Washington LLC - Tacoma, WA

South Puget Sound Washington Agent/Broker!

When you were a kid, did you ever have a pen pal? Did you ever meet that person? AR is the 21st century real estate answer to pen pals. Friends of a different sort Karen Anne =)
When ever you call me friend,
Paul

Sep 29, 2009 07:39 AM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Gary: Yes... a zillion friends. Just makes me wonder about several things regarding the concept... none of which I will go into here. I would much rather go "deeper" into a few relationships than "wider" into a great number of them... which really aren't relationships at all.

Sep 29, 2009 07:41 AM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Irene: Friends ARE few and far between. And... that's a good thing. Lasting friendships... build on both getting to really know someone... and then on the trust that can and should develop. What a nice way to live.

Sep 29, 2009 07:43 AM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Paul: Actually, I thought about pen pals as a kid... but never did it. I was probably too shy. But I can surely relate to the idea of having a long-time pen pal...and then finally meeting them. Just as long as I did NOT have to meet them by wading into a freezing Lake Erie when the temperature was thirty-five degrees. Ouch ! Gee... have you ever done anything similar ?

Sep 29, 2009 07:45 AM

Lana Robbins Realtor ® Licensed Real Estate Broker

Aloha Kai Real Estate - Clearwater, FL

Licensed in Florida, Washington, and Hawai'i

Hi Karen. Like you I appreciate a close-knit few who I can call "friends." However some of the social networks may be using "friends" loosely in order to forge friendships. However it does give us an opportunity to meet like-minded people and I like meeting people.

Sep 29, 2009 08:47 AM

Steve Shatsky

Dallas, TX

Hi Karen Anne... Lana is onto something... Social Network his actually managed to bring people together while simultaneously diluting the meaning of the word "friend". Interesting thought.

Sep 29, 2009 02:54 PM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Lana: That's one of the great things about Active Rain, and about being online. We can use what is here in whatever way that works for US. Each of us. Things work differently for different people. It's so nice that everybody does whatever works for them. What a boring world it would be if everyone like the same things, and if everyone responded exactly the same to everyone else. Individuality makes us interesting.

Sep 29, 2009 05:51 PM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Steve: Yes, I understand what Lana was saying... but I would still like to perhaps invent some other kind of word than "friend." But, then again, if it works for her, and others on some of the other social networks... Cool Beans ! Again, it may work differently for others... but for me... the word "friend"... is not something I myself use lightly.

And, like I said in my post above... the LAST thing I want... is to have 1,000 people labeled "friends." For me, the word friend... implies a relationship. The better the quality of the relationship... to more I would consider that person a real friend.

Sep 29, 2009 05:56 PM

Todd Clark - Retired

eXp Realty LLC - Tigard, OR

Principle Broker Oregon

I look at it like cars, most people love to talk about cars and real estate. Either everybody wants one or has one and if you are willing to talk listen I promise people will talk to you about it, if you want them to or not. So, my suggestion is use to your full advantage, make a friend and add to your sphere of influence.

Todd Clark - www.LivingBeaverton.com

Sep 30, 2009 08:27 PM

Gabrielle Nemes

RE/MAX Realty South - Tumwater, WA

206.300.8421, S King & Pierce County RE Advocate

Well, Karen Anne -- I don't know you well, but only through this teeny little relationship on ActiveRain. But I'm pleased to call you friend! Keep posting, friend. You have blogging talent!

Oct 01, 2009 05:07 PM

Gabrielle Nemes

RE/MAX Realty South - Tumwater, WA

206.300.8421, S King & Pierce County RE Advocate

Oops, but meant to say ... Cheddars! Are you kidding me? There's a restaurant called Cheddars!??? (sorry, that strikes me as funny). It must be a southern thing, or maybe Texas? And this place is all about cheese? Huh?? Oh, I'm so bugged by the idea. And I'll bet it's really popular too, right? You guys eat weird down there; my arteries are clogging just reading about it .... Bring on the sushi any day!

P.S. -- just kidding, of course! lol

Oct 01, 2009 05:11 PM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Gay: Well... I call you "friend" too. I think we established that the day I called you on the phone early on when you joined Active Rain. Do you recall that ? Yes... I think I have made some actual friends... rather than the silliness that goes on with Facebook.

Oct 01, 2009 05:13 PM

Karen Anne Stone

New Home Hunters of Fort Worth and Tarrant County - Fort Worth, TX

Fort Worth Real Estate

Actually... it is NOT all about cheese. They have some wonderful four and five-veggie plates... and this Dijon Chicken... I actually do not think there is any cheese on it. But the mushrooms, and the onions are awesome.

Oct 01, 2009 05:15 PM

Gabrielle Nemes

RE/MAX Realty South - Tumwater, WA

206.300.8421, S King & Pierce County RE Advocate

Oh yes, I do remember! It made a difference to a "newbie!" Thanks for reaching out. ... So when you come to Seattle, we'll have to eat something healthy, right? ... Actually sharp cheddar is one of my favorites, but best with apples. and nachos. And then there's good Brie! Yummmmmmmm

Oct 01, 2009 05:59 PM

Robert Vegas Bob Swetz

Las Vegas, NV

Karen - I couldn't agree with you more and I have all these so called friends at twitter, I don't even know these people and that is why I do my bonding at the rain!

VB ;o)

Oct 03, 2009 11:52 AM

Cathy McAlister

Cathy Ashley McAlister, GRI CDPE - Broker / Sacramento - Sacramento, CA

Sacramento DRE#00648507

Karen Anne: I have been away for awhile and just had to come over and visit you. We have never met, but have enjoyed exchanging comments and thoughts - isn't that how the seeds of friendship begin? I do not know where or how far it goes. I have no expectations. I just know that I enjoy coming to visit you via AR on occasion - you always make me smile.

Oct 09, 2009 11:59 AM

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