Home : Blogs : Loreena Yeo - Broker|Realtor(R) of www.Frisco-TX-Homes.com (214) 783-2210 : Stories from my Frisco TX home front...

Our experiences shape our priorities

So many times, the life lessons that we experience in life shape our priorities. I never knew how important this mark was until I experienced it first hand.

You see, growing up as a kid - education is very important in my home. It was near life or death. So I thought. Growing up as a kid in Asia is one tough process. It is almost engrain into every child that you need education to be somebody. In many ways, it's still hold true today. Coming from parents who never went to college, my parents' had goals for me that I do. Most parents in Asia share the same dream.

In 2nd grade, my dad taught 3rd or 4th grade Math. If I didn't get my Dad's homework right, I would be swat. Memories brought me back spending hours and hours on my dining room table trembling doing mental math. I grew up thinking A is a pass and B is a fail.

Just like my parents, most parents in Asia feel the same way about post-education. It is almost known that we - the kids' duty is to study very hard while the parents' duty is to go out to earn as much as they can to put the children through college education. More than likely, this education would be in the Western world, in a far away land.

For me, the far away land was America. Some 36-hour flight time later, I found myself in small town America - Norman OK to be exact. The University of Oklahoma. My parents sent me here on a one-way ticket and with $14,000 in my pocket the first year. I paid International Student rate. Hence, it's about 3-4 times more than what residents pay.

My job was to graduate as soon as I can (because it's expensive to stay in school) and then turn around to go home. That was over 13 years ago.

Fast forward 13 years later - I'm happily married to my college sweetheart and life plans changed. Although he is Malaysian like me, we would have never met had it not been for school. My son will be 2 years old this coming week. Some of the important life lessons I was brought up in are no longer priorities for me.

I only have control over my son's life and it's definitely NOT EDUCATION and NOT WORKING TILL I DROP TO PUT HIM IN SCHOOL.

My financial advisor shared with me that I need a whopping $195K in 16-17 years to put my son through state school. $85K if he went to a community college first, then the last 2 years of college. It was an eye-opener, almost shocking to know college education could cost that much in such a short period of time. I might make that goal or I might not. Whatever it is, I'll do my best and worry about it when I get there.

Life experiences changed my priorities.

Every morning as my son greets me, my life lesson for him is not how much ABCs or 123s he knows. It's making sure he walks the righteous path, knowing where INTEGRITY lies and DISCIPLINE stretches a person to go farther.

These were ironically lessons that I got out of my parents' parenting style. Discipline, Endurance, Hard work, Planning, Persistence. But I had to figure them out on my own years later - Why I am the way I am. I was only told that I'd be somebody with the college paper.

Coincidentally, I also no longer work in my field of studies (Civil Engineering). My dad wished I stayed an Engineer. It sounds better than a real estate agent - which he would not admit to his friends. Ahhhh.... So much for all the hard-earned money and I dont say this cynically.

I did eventually see the very important life lessons I need to teach my son. Be ALL God wants him to be. My job is to equip him with wings so he could fly free. I could care less if he was an attorney, a doctor or a CEO of some big shot company. All I want for my child is a life God planned for him.

It's pretty amazing how our life experiences shape our priorities today. More than you'd ever know.

*********************************************************************************************

All contents are original. Consider subscribing to my blog for more real estate commentaries.

Subscribe via Email if you are not an Active Rain member here.

Contact:

Loreena Yeo
Realtor®/ Broker of 3:16 team REALTY
(214) 783-2210
loreena@loreenayeo.com

Super-serving Frisco, Plano, Dallas, McKinney, Allen, Little Elm, Prosper, Celina, Richardson, Dallas M-Streets, Dallas White Rock Lake area communities and other surrounding areas.

Posted by Loreena Yeo - Broker|Realtor(R) of www.Frisco-TX-Homes.com (214) 783-2210 on 09/30/2009 12:15 PM

Comments (15)

Experiences Shape Our Priorities in the ActiveRain Channel

ramblings of a frisco realtor

Originally posted at: faithfully frisco tx homes for sale: Our experiences shape our priorities

This post has been included in Texas Information Collin County, TX Information Frisco, TX Information
Post is included in group: Selling Soulfully
Post is included in group: REALTOR LIFE
Post is included in group: EXPRESS WITH WORDS AT ACTIVERAIN
Post is included in group: Christianity and Real Estate
Post is included in group: Agent Mom

15 Comments on Our experiences shape our priorities

SEP

Loreena We as parents can't help but have a vision for our children. Your parents had one for you and it looks like it lead you to a rewarding life. A vision is a good thing, of course it is up to the child to go the direction that suits them. Great Post!..

Thanks Johnny. Yes, we all have hopes and dreams for our children.

"It's making sure he walks the righteous path, knowing where INTEGRITY lies and DISCIPLINE stretches a person to go farther."

Couldn't be better put, Loreena. Beautiful posting...

SEP

Loreena,

My experience was just the opposite. Lack of discipline and alcohol abuse were what I grew up in. However, it wasn't all bad. In his sober times my father did teach me some good lessons. All we can do is pick up the good we lived with and continue learning and improving our lives as we grow. You sound like a great mom and your son will benefit greatly from what he learns from you.

need a whopping $195K in 16-17 years to put my son through state school. $85K if he went to a community college first, then the last 2 years of college. It was an eye-opener, almost shocking to know college education could cost that much in such a short period of time. I might make that goal or I might not. Whatever it is, I'll do my best and worry about it when I get there.

Experiences do shape who we are. Thanks for sharing that moving post. It seems foreigners like yourself figure out the American system better than Americans. Also, I encourage you to have real estate pay for college. I am sure there are some great fix and flips in your local area. I am in the process of setting up my second fix and flip. Have real estate pay for college. Be an example for other parents in your local community.

Loreena:

That is interesting that your father is embarrassed to say that you are a real estate agent. Actually, no child says, "I want to be a real estate agent when I grow up." But, here we are. It's an honorable field if we make it so.

Loreena,

I think you have found a wonderful life with your husband...and you have been blessed with a precious little boy...I think that you have found a pearl of wisdom in your approach to life and the raising of your son....wishing you everything wonderful...

Loreena - What a great story! Thx for sharing. Like Larry, I too had less than pleasant childhood marred by alcohol abuse as well as physical abuse. I think my childhood is a direct correlation to my never having kids (a long and ugly story).

However, having survived a living hell, I know what I don't want and it keeps me from ever living like that again.

Hi Loreena,

What a nice story about your life. My parent always reminded me that "if it's worth having....it's worth working for." While it didn't make sense to me much then...It does now. It pays off eventually.

Your son is adorable! that is such a fun age so enjoy him now .... he'll be in college too before you know it.

Sincerely,

Patricia

I think we all want the best we can provide for our children. Different back grounds have folks emphasizing different things. Thanks for the post

I am of a different mold. I am willing to pay off my childs school bill after he puts himself through successfully. There are lots of grants and scholarships available for various reasons. You would be surprised at how little it can cost upfront to go to college.

https://www.applyweb.com/apply/mit/index_files/financial_aid_info.pdf

http://usnews.com/sections/education/paying-for-college/index.html

What a wonderful mother you are! FYI, a excellent college education can be had for FAR less than your financial advisor stated. My first son to graduate with an MBA did so with no savings or scholarships, working his tail off summers and part time during school, with help from his parents for what he couldn't manage while he lived at home to save expenses. After graduation at Colorado State, he went to night school for his MBA, paid his way and never incurred a dime in debt. Now he has a fabulous career, beautiful new home, sweet wife and two darling daughters and no debt hanging over his head. My daughter just started her second year of college, same scenario. She did get a grant this year, and is living out of state, but will likely follow her brother's footsteps. If we would have had savings for them to go to college, they would have loved it, but I think this way is better. They have to really want it bad enough to earn it, which in the end makes their education so much more valuable to them.

OCT

Hi Loreena,

Your son is adorable and he's lucky to have you as a Mom! I think we all try to give our children the best of what we had as children as well as everything we wanted and did't get - whether it be material possessions, attention or just being accepted for who we are and the special gifts that we each have.

By the way, my daughter Danielle will be starting high school next year and we hope she'll be accepted under a special program funded in part by the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation. She'll be going to the community college and taking both high school and college classes at the same time. When she graduates high school, she'll also have 2 years of college completed - at no cost to us. The program includes tuition assistance for those who go on to enroll in a state university for the rest of their college courses. I don't know if this type of program is available in all states, but it's a great opportunity to go to college for a fraction of what a typical program costs. ( Incidentally, Danielle is Asian also and lived in Hainan, China till she was 4 1/2.)

OCT

Very touching post. As parents, all we can do is be the best parents we are capable of being. It's certainly a learn as you go job! I have always expected my children to earn scholarships to fund their college education. There are many programs available. Your son is fortunate to live in a loving home. Best of luck

Loreena, so true that we are shaped by our experiences, and remember the story is ever changing. Where you are today is not where you will be ten years from now...

Leave a response…

Name:

Email:
(optional)

Comment:

What does the graphic say?