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Realtorspeak, a Dictionary

First a disclaimer. This is all in jest and is not meant to offend anyone. I spend a lot of time looking at listings, because I am a very small time RE investor. I always get a kick out of the adjectives used to describe homes in these listings. The following are some of my definitions.

ELEGANT You can't afford it!

FABULOUS See ELEGANT

DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL Bring a bulldozer!

CHARMER Old and in the way!

LUXURIOUS See ELEGANT

PRIVATE LOCATION You can't get there from here!

REMODELED A few upgrades done twenty years ago!

FIXER or FIXER UPPER See DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL

HISTORIC See ELEGANT

CUTE Your family won't fit in this one!

STARTER HOME See DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL

NEWER At least thirty years old!

CLASSIC See CHARMER

DIAMOND IN THE ROUGH See DEVELOPMENT POTENTIAL

VINTAGE See Charmer

These are a few of the terms I've discovered. I know there are more. Feel free to add any you'd like.

Thanks for looking

David Helm

www.helmhomeinspections.com

Posted by David Helm, Bellingham,Wa. Home Inspector on 06/18/2007 12:27 PM

Comments (15)

david helm, helm home inspections, real estate, listings, charmer, vintage, fixer

15 Comments on Realtorspeak, a Dictionary

Dear David,

I think your post was wonderful and fun to read. I think you should expound on it by adding more words.

Sincerely,
William

06/18/2007 12:40 PM

by San Diego Real Estate Voice authored by William Johnson GRI CRS e-PRO (RE/MAX Associates)

Great post David! It is nice to see some truly funny posts every now and then. Keep up the great work!

06/18/2007 12:47 PM

by Classic Property Management of the Antelope Valley - Jonathan Mitchell (Classic Property Management)

Thanks for the smiles. I always enjoy a good sense of humor.

06/18/2007 12:57 PM

by Linda Sanderson (Coldwell Banker Solano Pacific)

COZY You can stand in the middle of the living room and touch all 4 walls

06/18/2007 12:59 PM

by Pam Hofmann - Your Crossville, Lake Tansi & Fairfield Glade Specialist (Third Tennessee Realty & Associates, LLC)

I was going to add cozy but Pam added it first. I always love to see "Lots of Potential" which means that anything your buyer does will be an improvement!

06/18/2007 01:22 PM

by Gary Waters - Real Estate Agent Viera Suntree (Century 21 Baytree Realty www.moving2brevard.com)

Very cute.

06/18/2007 03:08 PM

by Mitchell Captain Home inspections in Broward, Dade, and Palm Beach (AllSpec Professional Property Inspections Inc)

Thanks, for the chuckle!

06/18/2007 03:29 PM

by Silvia Dukes, PA --- Ich spreche Deutsch! (Tropic Shores Realty)

TLC- Too Lousy to Classify or Tough Luck Charley

I hate TLC.....be honest, it is a dump!

06/18/2007 04:05 PM

by Realty World Executive Group

Spacious - average
Charming - small
Comfortable - very small
Cozy - A broom closet would be bigger
Low maintenance - no lawn
Walk to stores - nowhere to park your car
Prestigious - expensive
Bright and sunny - Venetian blinds not included
Townhouse - former tenement
Modern - 30 to 40 years old
Contemporary - at least 15 years old
Sprawling ranch - inefficient floor plan
Natural setting - forget about planting, the deer will eat everything
Secluded setting - far away
Executive neighborhood - high taxes
Near houses of worship - fanatical denomination next door
Park-like setting - a tree on the block
Unaffected charm - needs painting
Starter home - run down
Hurry! Won't last - about to collapse
And much, much more - nothing else comes to mind

06/18/2007 05:02 PM

by Exit Platinum Realty

William, Jonathon, Linda Thanks for stopping by. A little humor is what I was going for.

Pam, I like your cozy addition

Gary, Mitchell, Sylvia, Thanks for taking a look

Mark, TLC is also a good addition; and has two definitions!

06/18/2007 05:37 PM

by David Helm, Bellingham,Wa. Home Inspector (Helm Home Inspections)

Vicki, Super group of definitions. I'm glad to see others finding humor in advertising jargon.

06/18/2007 05:38 PM

by David Helm, Bellingham,Wa. Home Inspector (Helm Home Inspections)

I was in the Bellingham Towers, on the 8th floor, a few years ago during that major earthquake we had. When it started shakin' I realized that, in all of Bellingham, it was probably the last place I wanted to be. As it was, it rocked and rolled okay.

06/18/2007 11:48 PM

by Steven L. Smith, Bellingham, Wa. Home Inspector (King of the House Home Inspection)

Thanks for looking in.

06/19/2007 08:18 AM

by David Helm, Bellingham,Wa. Home Inspector (Helm Home Inspections)

this is very funny.... thanks for sharing.

06/19/2007 09:59 AM

by A Crye-Leike Blogger, Angie Vandenbergh (Crye-Leike, Realtors)

David, that is funny!

06/22/2007 09:50 AM

by jamie allen (Allen's Pest Inspections)

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