It's been a while since I have posted "Funny Friday Quotes", so, since my husband and I going to a "Marriage 101" life group through our church, I thought today's funny quotes should be about marriage...ENJOY!

Funny Quotes About Marriage



"In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker." -Woody Allen

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." -Rodney Dangerfield

"A married man should forget his mistakes; no use two people
remembering the same thing." -Duane Dewel.

"When you see a married couple walking down the street, the one
that's a few steps ahead is the one that's mad." -Helen Rowland

"I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like
and give her a house." -Lewis Grizzard.

"I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her." -Rodney Dangerfield.

"The difference between divorce and legal separation
is that legal separation gives a husband time to hide his money." -Johnny Carson

" I told someone I was getting married, and they said, 'Have you picked a date yet?' I said, 'Wow, you can bring a date to your own wedding?" What a country!" -Yakov Smirnoff

"I'd marry again if I found a man who had 15 million and would sign over half of it to me before the marriage and guarantee he'd be dead within a year."
- Bette Davis

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."
- Henry Youngman

"My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe."
- Jimmy Durante

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage."
- James Holt McGavran

"Love is blind, marriage is the eye-opener."
- Pauline Thomason

"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than to let him keep her."
- Sacha Guitry