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Agents...Since When is this All About You?

One thing we must always remember when in the midst of a transaction, this is not about us. This is about our clients.

During a recent negotiation my clients made an offer, the sellers countered, my clients countered, and then the sellers did again. At this point the listing agent told me:

"My sellers don't want any more nit-picking and neither do I."

girls arguing

You better believe that I did not repeat this to the purchasers.

This may well be what the sellers told the agent. What was the purpose of telling me that in that way? If the agent wanted to convey this it would have sounded much better if it had been put in a more professional way.

The other issue I have with the comment from the agent was how she injected herself into the negotiations. It is never up to us whether the parties involved continue to negotiate until the cows come home. That is strictly between the buyers and sellers.

To claim that she did not want any more nit-picking was not important to me. All it does is set up an abrasive situation and that is exactly why I did not repeat it to the buyers. It was bad enough that I knew what her attitude was I certainly didn't want my clients to know. It would not have helped the negotiation process at all.

Remembers, agents, this is not about you!

This is not your transaction! When you are the buyer or seller have at it, meanwhile do the job you are being paid to do and that means to facilitate the process in a professional manner with your clients interest in mind.

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If you or someone you know is thinking of buying or selling property at or near Lake Anna, Virginia please contact Kathleen "Kate" Elim, REALTOR®, RE/MAX Hall of Fame.

Contact Kate at 540-226-1964 or by e-mail at lakeanna.kate@gmail.com. Be sure to check Kate's Web site http://lakeannacountry.com/.

Posted by Kathleen "Kate" Elim LAKE ANNA, VA Real Estate on 10/07/2009 03:01 PM

Comments (30)

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30 Comments on Agents...Since When is this All About You?

OCT

Kate, I appreciate you being the ambassador and getting this out. Too often I hear too many comments from people in business that reflect back to "it's all about me". Nonsense!

This is an excellent point. There is no reason for an adversarial position. We are working together to try to come to a point where everyone feels good about the transaction. Our personal feelings should not enter into it.

I couldn't agree with you more! I get so tired of that type of attitude... it is very unprofessional and half the time the agents don't really help by setting that tone with seller either... leave the parties to their negotiating... and 99% of the time they will work it out... or not... but it is their transaction!

No kidding...it's definitely the attitude of each agent that sets the 'stage' for how the process would turn out if you do get into contract. On the other hand...I have had agents just 'having a bad day' and later on be the sweetest thing. I suppose the important thing to remember is the first impressions ...have lasting impressions in the minds of ...us :)

Hi Ginger...It's not a very helpful attitude to have and we have to be mindful of how we treat one another.

Kate

Hi Susan...We often counsel our clients not to take the negotiation personally. We're in a business deal. We need to remind ourselves sometimes.

Kate

Hi Susan...We often counsel our clients not to take the negotiation personally. We're in a business deal. We need to remind ourselves sometimes.

Kate

Hi Joan...We should be there to facilitate and smooth things out, not create hard feelings. Thanks for your comment.

Kate

Hi Sally...Unfortunately, this is not a case of a "bad day". I only mentioned one thing that was said (there have been other comments on other days) because this one was more about injecting themselves into the negotiation process in a detrimental way. Said to another less experienced agent may have had different results. Another agent may have repeated it to their clients and created a tough situation.

Kate

Kate, you are so right! Too many agents take it upon themselves to negotiate without the sellers or buyers permission. This is business.....not the agent's decision.

Oh Kate, you are so right, and I have heard some comments like this , and I am always surprised. I think next time I might remind them "It's not about you" :-)

Kate, Very, very true. Act professional and try to resolve conflicts. There is a certain way to speak to people and they usually respond in a like mannered way.

Kate: I think that the biggest mistake that agents make is injecting themselves into the negotiations.

OCT

I have to laugh when I hear agents do this.. or when they get cranky when you give them less than glowing feedback. We are not principals to the transaction.. take the emotion out of it for goodness sakes.

Kate I love it when the listing agent says, "WE can't accept that" Karen

Hi Kay...Yes, it just muddies the process and creates ill feelings.

Thanks for your comment.

Kate

Hi Mary...That is exactly what I would like to say except someone that does this may become even more abrasive so I hesitate to do it.

Kate

Hi Carole...We should try to maintain as harmonious a relationship as we can. We accomplish so much more that way.

Kate

Hi Jane...That is so right. It is not all about us.

Kate

Hi Jesse...Yes, there are enough emotions flying around without the agents displaying this type of pushiness. Doesn't add a thing to the transaction only more hard feelings.

Kate

Hi Karen...Advise yes, decide no unless the seller/buyer has expressly given permission which is doubtful in most cases.

Kate

Great points Kate....there is a lot of that going on these days. Agents need to learn that they are the facilitators not the participants!

Ahhh.... It's definitely not easy to not want to be a part of the transaction. We are creatures of emotions. Sometimes, it's hard not to. Perhaps not in the context as you presented it. But sometimes, that's also what our clients rely on us for... Our opinion.

OCT

Hi Joan...Yes, and to facilitate we have to make sure we don't ruffle feathers unnecessarily.

Kate

Hi Loreena...I agree that our clients rely on us for our opinion. That is one of the best things we bring to the equation...our expertise so that we can give them the best advice. That is so different than demanding how we want the other principals to act. It is not up to us to decide whether we've had enough of a buyer or seller negotiating terms of the contract.

I know this is something you would not do and something I have never done. It is not up to us to give ultimatums.

Thanks for commenting.

Kate

Kate so many forget that they function is to facilitate and should not take things personal. Great advice.

Hi Jennifer...As Loreena said, sometimes it's hard to keep our emotions out of it but we really have to try hard. It only creates tension and there's plenty of that sometimes without our adding to it.

Kate

OCT

Kate: "... and neither do I" - What does "I" have to do with it! That tells me all I need to know about that agent.

I guess it makes some agents feel more powerful toward another agent if they have that "bully" or intimidating approach. As for me, my view of an agent like that is one of almost pity, in that they either do not feel confident enough in their negotiation skills (so they try to compensate by being a bully - sounds very highschoolish doesn't it) or they are just too unprofessional and maybe even ignorant to some degree to even get it. Perhaps, all of the above.

It's good advice as mentioned in other comments to take the emotion out of it for sure. Most of us really are trying to get the best deal for our client but agents should not be attacking each other, that certainly does nothing for either side. I've found that the nastier an agent like that gets, the kinder I am, the more unprofessional that agent is, the more professional I am. It really throws them off their game. LOL

Very well stated, and that picture is perfect! Some agents need to grow up!

OCT

You're right, there are a much better ways to state things. I often marvel at agents who think they have to be adversarial in negotiations. You can stick to your guns without offending.

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