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High Expectations

It's funny as you get on in years, the things that you would roll your eyes about when younger start making sense. Have you ever caught yourself sounding like your mother? Something many of us swore would never happen right?

I have four very great kids, healthy, happy and yes deprived. Some of their friends have every known electronic, toy or gadget known to exist. The latest, greatest and newest. They wear the latest, greatest and newest. We are way behind in our neighborhood. Why just last year we purchased a play station! No we don't have a Wi!

Just like the kids in our neighborhood, the real estate landscape around my area became inundated with every bell and whistle a homeowner could want. Unchecked refinancing, low interest rates and inflated property values fueled this consumption to excess. Hummers and spanking new RVs became visible on every block for a time. Boats, new pool construction and loft room addtitions were the rage. You couldn't pay a contractor enough to answer your calls, show up for appointments on time or treat you semi respectfully on a job.

So I have a friend who is a buyer's agent. She has allowed me to tag along with her as an "assistant" when showing homes to clients. I felt this would be another education in seeing what buyer's expectations are out there, especially now in this market. What an education!

High expectations they are, even for first time home buyers. In an era of HGTV and FLN, many people absolutely believe a house is a dump unless it has certain amenities that were once considered high end. Hardwoods, granite, fancy moldings and high end appliances. Yes they want it all. They want it all and now they want if for nothing...because they can.

The cycle of a buyer's market and a seller's market has always been a given. But now it has become an especially vicious buyer's market in my opinion.

In Staging this has created many high expectations also. Recommending ROI improvements and advice on correcting "design" flaws are a large part of Staging Consultations. It isn't just about presenting a pleasing livable space, it has to WOW the folks. The wowier the better.

What ever happened to the the good old buyer that was looking for maintained, clean, spacious and in a good school district? Big yard not good enough, must have BBQ from heaven and rock pool.

This may sound like a rant longing for the good ole days but it's not really. What it is is a lament on how spoiled, superficial and materialistic we are and why things are headed down the economic roads they are.

I don't mean we shouldn't want better things or more things but it's like people now view it as a right, a given and they are being cheated or deprived if they don't get what they want right now. Like children.

So I am back where I started this. With my children. My kids have offered to sell their play station and other stuff if mommy and daddy don't have money to pay for their house. Everyday they walk past houses in our neighborhood, houses where their friends lived, that have bank owned notices in the windows.

Maybe just maybe we can teach them that there is a better form of high expectations; human kindness, empathy and responsiblility.

AccentPositives provides effective and economical consultations on site and on line. We service the Inland Empire area of Southern California.

Posted by AccentPositives Corona, CA on 10/08/2009 01:22 AM

Comments (29)

responsibility, real estate, economy, expectations

Originally posted at: Ana's Blog: High Expectations

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29 Comments on High Expectations

OCT

I'm glad to hear that your children are aware that other families are in need. It's good to be aware of the local conditions at any age.

Hi Ana - I think we all tend to have those times when we long for the "good old days" or when we feel that we have become our parents. I agree that we all have gotten spoiled for some reason and have developed an "I want it how I want it and I want it now" attitude. Too bad, but I'm afraid there is not much chance of turning back to the simpler times.

I think the current economy may help some younger people to understand that money doesn't just grow on trees. So many younger believe it is there right to have a high paying job right out of school. Government should also pay for everything.

Thanks for another great post tonight. Best to you

Ana,

Ehat's what caused a lot of this problem today; gotta' have everything now; usually on credit.

Ana ~ Great post! Thanks for sharing : )

Ana, children grown tall. It is bothersome and something that most of my grandchildren suffer from. I think that their parents feel that since they were deprived (ha) then their kids should have EVERYTHING they want and never hear the word NO. It does set them up for a rough ride and unrealistic expectations as adults. (Yes it has been one of my soap boxes for MANY years) Since the 70's the term "cornicopia kids" is what we are dealing with and I fear, it will be a long time before that changes. Insightful post, well said...thanks.

Hi Ana, Love your post! What a great idea of yours to ride with an agent to see what buyers are looking for when touring homes. You are right, they want to be wowed. That's why what we do as stagers is so important, especially in today's competitive real estate market. You've got to wow the buyer every step of the way - the online photos, curb appeal, interior and around every corner of each room. There are those "wow" properties out there at every price point and they are the ones that are selling.

Very thoughtful post. I can't stand to see my friends kids getting everything they want, cell phones at 10, manicures/pedicures, play stations, Wii's, DS's, etc... I stand very firm on not giving my kids everything or bribing them with these things because hopefully it will make them better people. If everyone felt this way, we'd be raising thoughtful and responsible kids. Obviously your parents did a good job with you and you are too with your own. Meanwhile, we have to do what the market dictates and our spoiled buyers want it all, so we have to recommend they do it all.

Ana- we are so on the same page. Yes, what happened to houses just needing to be clean, freshly painted, in good neighborhoods, and priced right? What happened to being able to imagine the "possibilities" a house had to offer ? It all goes hand in hand with the "gotta have it now/Twitter" world we live in. Our hope is for parents like you who will continue to instill core values. Very thoughtful post.

Ana,

What a wonderful post. I couldn't agree more about getting back to parenting basics. Teaching our children human kindness, empathy, and responsibility. The values we teach our children have everything to do with what kind of adults they turn out to be. Hopefully someday we will all get back to basics, and not need to be dazzled in order to see the simple beauty and uniqueness in things (houses, cars etc.). Thanks for sharing.

Your friend in the Cosmic Cow Pie.

You have your finger on the pulse of the nation, Ana. Thanks for this eloquent, thought-provoking post. We can all see that, far from being deprived, your children are richly blessed. And so are we. Thanks for sharing.

OCT

Hi Vicky, getting kids to "get it" is one of the hardest things about being a parent. Thanks for commenting

Hi Susan, I wish you weren't right. Thanks for commenting.

Hi Theodora, we have a joke in our house about the money tree and about pulling bills from lower parts unmentionable,, in kids speak of course!

Hi Katiejo, you are welcome and thanks for stopping by:)

Hi Terry, have you seen the UTube yet about the lady getting after BofA for raising her interest rates for no reason other than they could. Credit cards are a curse.

Thank you Mandy :)

Hi Ginger, didn't look to me you were a grandmother! I agree with all you said, thanks for commenting.

Hi Diana, thanks. Riding with my friend was just another education I felt was needed and what an eye opener. That's what we are, WOW makers and I never have thought of Staging in that light, I always view the practical stuff and that may be what holds me back at times. Thanks for commenting.

Hi Emma, thanks for commenting. It is sad sometimes that I feel guilty not allowing as much or buying as much but we just plain can't afford it and I honestly wouldn't if I could.

Hi Kathy, thanks for commenting. I talk to lots of other parents of the same mind, there are more of us than one would think, just not as vocal and go quietly about everyday life. I like to get up on a soap box every now and then like Ginger!

Thanks Carra, thats what I like about reading posts here on AR, there are lots of people who get to the basics everyday, and it is very inspiring:)

Thank you Laurie, I feel so blessed to have them, even when I am ready to pull my hair out!

I second your emotion, Ana! Kids are driving Hummers to High School down here, and it rolls my stomach.

In fact, earlier this year we bought used 2005 Jeep Grand Cherokee with 70,000 miles on it from a family who had to sell it, because their high schooler didn't want to be seen driving it. They agreed it was necessary for him to drive a brand new mustang (which he promptly wrecked).

I was watching HGTV earlier this week, and this family was looking for a house. They were complaining the bedrooms were too small for their kids to "grow" into, being only 12'x12'.

When I was a whippersnapper, that was the size of the master bedroom in my $1200/mo. apartment in Costa Mesa, and I thought it was HUGE (you know, compared to my childhood bedroom at home that was 9'x10'.

I never knew I was deprived, but surely I must have been. I mean, I slept in a twin bed, and my TV had no remote control. It was like a third world country!

Priorities are a little whack these days if you ask me.

~Michelle

I couldn't agree with you more. The sense of entitlement these days is crazy. It used to be you were doing well by your kids if not only the basic needs of your kids were being met but by being able to spend quality time with them. Like you said I use to feel like I was depriving my children because they don't have every latest thing they see on tv. Ana i truly believe that by "depriving" them of these things you are only making them better more responsible people. They will grow up and know the value of working hard for the things that are important. That is super cute they offered to sell their playstations! It's great they understand that as a family if the situation arises you have to pull together. Maybe the best thing about this crazy economy is it's bringing our values back a little more old school. I hope people stick to their new less expensive lifestyles after we come out of this. Great post you really nailed it right on the head!

Ana ~ Living in Ireland for 8 years really illustrated to me how very spoiled we are as a country here in the US. It's actually possible to live a simpler life, enjoy your friends and neighbors, and not worry so much about what you don't have! Good post.

Hi Michelle, you are right about priorities being out of whack, sometimes I really have to catch myself and ask the question is this really necessary? Thanks for commenting.

Hi Abby, thanks so much for commenting and I know you are right about making them more responsible by holding the reins in. Making them understand that is the challange.

Hi Maureen, dead on. I spent 10 years in the military. I went a lot of places and if people here saw more of how others live outside the U.S. they just might be more appreciative of where they live and what they have. My granny was Irish, hope to visit there someday, lucky you! Thanks for commenting:)

What a meaningful post-you are a fabulous mother and your children are going to be incredible adults because of you!! Thanks for sharing!

OCT

Ana -- another great example of your blogging skills and ability to hit the nail on the head.

thx!

So very true. So very sad.

We have a generation that want it. Want it perfect. Want it now. They want to see a finished package, not potential. That's where staging comes in. We didn't create the monster, but we know how to satisfy it.

Thanks Cathy, I hope you are right.

Hi Karen, thanks so much glad you enjoyed the post. It was really spur of the moment.

Hi Wendy, thanks for commenting. You are very right!

OCT

What a GREAT post. People should think in terms of buying a house, THEN customizing for their needs. Isn't that the best part of the process? AND where staging is so valuable -- to pique the imagination and creativity.

I know that's not the case but I hear ya loud/clear!

The need to 'keep up with the Joneses' just has never been my objective. I use something till it's no longer usable for me, then replace and donate the old item for someone else to enjoy. Our society is wayyy too wasteful and disposable and about 'stuff'.

BTW did you know I grew up mostly in Corona? My family is still there. My mom = retired schoolteacher @ Vicentia Elementary School. 35 years. :)

PS Love Carra's comment. ;)

Hi Ana....nice post! My freinds and I discuss this often...and it is my hope that the lessons being learned today will help correct the excessiveness of these past two decades. Most people do not change until the pain is very painful. It has been a shame that we have a young generation whose sense of entitlement is far beyond control...and we need more strong parents to stand up for base ideals. This parenting style will give more stability toward a child's inner core than too-many-toys or new cars will ever provide. Hope we get back to basics....sooner than later. : )

Fabulous blog! As one who is downsizing and doing so much hands on DIY these days, it amazes me what people don't do for themselves anymore. Have you also noticed that everyone has to have someone else do all the work for all of these luxuries? I really don't mind as otherwise I might not have a job but it does give me a chuckle sometimes...

Having lived most of our married lives in what most would consider poverty (my husband was in the Navy, living in base housing with cinderblock walls, no AC, and industrial tiles for flooring - we used contact paper on both the inside and outside of the cupboards to keep them from literally fallling apart in our food - and raising 3 kids on less than $28,000 a year) we learned to live without a lot of things that other people had. Now we do a bit better, but have had a bit of a set back with the economy and my husband's job - i.e. he now has a new one (thankfully)... My kids tell me they never knew they were poor & love their childhood - the traditions and family times are what they remember. Sadly, most of their friends' childhood memories have to do with computers & TV. They did not experience the same familly time, although they were much better off financially.

Maybe everyone should experience 'poor' and find out what is possible in a family and to live without...

Hi Candice, thanks and you are so right. That has always been most of the fun for me entering a new house, picturing what I could do to make it my own. I think we all would like to be able to afford champagne but that's not something we should buy if we can't! So you're a Corona girl, I live not to far from Vicentia. Do you miss Corona?, I love it here, a great place to live.

HI Kathleen, thanks for commenting. Back to basics would go a long way to fixing what is going on today I think you are so right. Common sense goes a long way and that is a BIG basic missing now days.

Thanks for commenting Melissa. I did my share of base housing myself and it was hit or miss. Sometimes nice, sometimes not so. I was lucky I had no kids to deal with at the time. You are absolutely right about family and shared memories. We may not have everything material but we do things together and that's what they will remember. They have plenty of things but happily (even through the griping) they always say things like "Hey Mom...remember the time we..." That is music to me and way better than remembering the last trip to best buy! Happy Sunday :)

I miss Corona/CA for one or two days or until I get over the hill on I-40 and see my River. Then there's no place like home and home is AZ :)

OCT

Ana - While I'm not a parent, I can't speak about teaching children, but I do work with first time buyers. In the begininning, when they first started their home search, they seemed like many of yours - lots of expectations and wants.

After six months of looking at dozens and dozens of homes and making offer after offer only to lose to lower cash offers, my first timers now just want to buy a house - any house will do now.

OCT

I think you are right, six months of hunting would absolutely send me over the edge, for me a shack with a bedroom and bathroom might be good enough LOL! Thanks for stopping in.:)

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