Jennifer Allan, the Queen of Selling with Soul, has mentioned more than once that Facebook is just not her thing.  If you don't know Jennifer, you should subscribe to her blog, Sell with Soul, first then come back and read this post.  Selling with Soul is all about working with your SOI (Sphere of Influence) and really catering to them in a professional, friendly and, as Jennifer says, competent way.  It is NOT spamming, cold calling, gimmick driven real estate sales, but basically treating your clients as you would want to be treated yourself.  I think Jennifer has gotten a bad taste in her mouth by having possibly too many "friends" on Facebook to be able to have meaningful relationships with as well as become tired and bored of all of the Mafia Wars, Farmville and other inane updates.  (for full transparency, I have played all these games and actually enjoyed them, just not allowed them to spam my friends with my game updates).

I have come up with a Dos and Don'ts list of Selling with Soul on Facebook (or how to not piss your friends off) "friends" in this posts means your Facebook Friends,

DO

1. Use the comment or "like" button to let others know you are reading their status updates and agree, share their pain or just enjoyed it.  People love to know they are being read.
2. Do follow your friends updates to see what their interests and hobbies are, it is much easier to build a good solid foundation for a relationship with someone when you share a common denominator
3. Do use FB to alert you when it is their birthday (but Don't use FB to wish them a happy birthday, everyone does and it will get lost in the shuffle, give them a call instead)
4. Do post interesting info that you think your friends might find interesting and useful (but don't over-do it, FB is more about the interaction than just posting tons of links) This does NOT mean your listings (see Don'ts)
5. Do be yourself, flaws and all, it allows people to feel comfortable with you and build trust in you as a "real" person, not a marketing version of yourself
6. Use the "chat" feature to say hello to people you haven't spoken to in awhile
7. Create "groups" so that you can filter who you send certain updates to.  I.e. if you are having an open house, or there is a sale coming up, you might want to only update your local friends on this.  You can create as many groups as you want.  Do this early in your FB life, you will be glad you do.

DON'T

1. Use FB as a spam media to post your listings relentlessly.  If you have a nice one, you can, of course throw it in, but the quickest way to be unfollowed is to post nothing but real estate stuff over and over again.  Seriously.  FB is the most personal and relaxed social media and anything perceived as hard selling is taboo.
2. Allow the games like Mafia Wars, Farmville, etc. to post your updates.  You can still enjoy these, but honestly, noone else cares what level you reach, who you knocked off or what tree you harvested
3. Stalk people, or anything that could perceived as stalking - use the "if it quacks like a duck" test
4. Tag people in photos without their permission.  Not everyone likes to have pictures of them posted that they haven't seen before or like
5. Be upset if someone you send a friend request does not accept.  Some people keep their FB very private and some rarely use it so there are lots of reasons (not directed at you) which could explain their reasoning.  Let it go.
6. Get so addicted that you stop making personal contact (calls, direct emails) etc.  Facebook does not replace more personal contact with your Sphere, only enhances it.

7. Take it personally if someone interacts less than you'd expect or hope, as mentioned above, everyone has their own Facebook protocol

8. And finally, DON'T let irritatig posts and games keep you from FB.  If someone bugs you but you don't want to "unfriend" them, hover your mouse over the right side of their post on your wall and the "hide" button comes up and wahlah, they are hidden.  You can do the same for irritating games, etc. like Mafia Wars, etc.  When a new status from someone comes up, hover to get the "hide" as above, but choose application instead of friend.

Facebook can be as much or as little as you want it to be.  If used with care and mindfulness, you can learn more about your friends (both personal and professional) while introducing them to a deeper level of yourself, both of which can build better relationships.  This can build trust and deeper connections that can help build your SOI, one friend at a time.

cartoon by Tim Bolton