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Bringing the kids to show homes... okay or not?

Welcome to my world. I have a 14 month old and an almost 3.5 year old. Life is busy. Life as an agent is also very busy. How do you find that proper balance of time between family and the demands of your clients, who typically need you right when you are trying to put one of your kiddos to sleep?

I have read and heard various commentaries on this very topic of family versus business. We were encouraged in our pre-license class to leave a message on our phone saying that calls left after a certain time may not be returned until the following business day. To me, if I were the consumer, that would say that when I need you the most, namely after I get off of work, you will not be there since your work day ends at 6:00 or 7:00 p.m. While there are certain limits, offering your clients some other way to communicate with you in their time of need helps quite a bit.

This brings us to our main topic: should you or can you bring your kids to show homes with you? From a strictly logical perspective, most of us would say NO WAY! I have a hard enough getting my kiddo to behave at my home, let alone someone elses. What if your other half has a commitment they told you about 2 weeks ago, but you have a client who is looking in a lucrative price point for you wants to go out? What do you do?

Where am I going with this- all this relates back to customer service. Most clients, in my experience, will appreciate that you are willing to go all out for them, even if it means bringing your kids with you. In the course of conversation, I am sure that you have let them know that you have kids. Most clients you will be working with also have kids and are totally empathetic. In fact, bringing the kids can add an extra level of service you didn't even think about: relatability. You are showing your most valuable thing in life to them. Most, especially at the age my kids are, go nuts over how cute they are, especially over the 14 month old.

This is not to say I do this all the time, but there are times where it is necessary. Our kids are our most precious gifts. They can give to our business in ways that may not always seem apparent. Making yourself relatable to your clients will greatly help your business to improve in ways that you can't even imagine.

My child Princess

Posted by Jamie Parker Snellville Realtor, Gwinnett Realtor on 10/12/2009 09:45 PM

Comments (55)

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55 Comments on Bringing the kids to show homes... okay or not?

OCT

you know what.... enjoy it.... believe it or not.... it will go fast.. :)

I wrote a post a few months back about how I how to drag my 4 year old to an appointment with me. The comments I received were mainly agents supporting it or have also had times when they needed to bring their child(ren) along. I would never do it on a first appointment but if it's someone that I've been working with or a friend and the house must be shown when I am in a babysitting jam (good thing my other two kids are in full day school), I will tell them in advance that "we can go but I will have to take my 4 year old with me" usually they say "oh I don't care I just want to see the house". I also want to add that IF I do take him, I only will do it on a house that is vacant or that I definitely know the sellers will not be there.

It would be case by case depending on the client. The client calls you at random hours and expects you to run out and show a house? If you are with the kids, tell them that you can show them the house now, but you have the kids. Or they could wait and have you without them. Just be matter of fact. BUT I know how it is. Everyday I have to tell agents that I cant meet them before 9am because I have my 3 year old son and have to drop him off at 9am for MMO. I may be inconveniencing them, but I dont know how many times an agent or a friend blows me off because they have to go to the gym!

YOUR KIDS ARE ADORABLE!!!

I have five children. Most of them are grown now. My 11 year old comes to my office during the summer and has a job to do while he is there. He asks to come. He has also been on many showings with me. I always ask my clients if it is ok for him to come before I bring him. Some couples really enjoyed having him there because they had children of a similar age and that helped keep the kids occupied. It's always hard for us to find balance in our lives, but by involving our families in our careers it sometimes helps to achieve that balance.

This is an interesting concept. My kids are older and childcare is not something I have to deal with at this point in my life. I congratulate you in your choices.

OCT

I agree with Lori - if someone calls you last minute and you agree to meet them, children in tow, then I think the client will consider it a positive. However, bringing children with you as a matter of course (which is not what you're saying, I know), would not be greeted with the same attitude, I wouldn't imagine. I don't have children myself, so if my real estate agent had her/his kids with her/him most of the time, I'd feel I wasn't getting my agent's full attention, which I feel I deserve. It would also be distracting for me, since I'm among the minority who is not really comfy around kids.

Now, if you wanna bring your dog with you? I'm totally cool with that.

I think this is indicative of how we have worked ourselves into not having enough time for anything. I love my kids, but when I am in ANY other professionals office, paying them my hard earned money for a service, I expect top-notch customer service. If I ever felt like I was competing for their attention with their children, I would probably look for a new avenue to spend my money. Like myself, many of my clients are very busy also, and my decision to make my children a competing priority with serving their needs would turn some of them off. I hate to sound like the "guy who doesn't like kids", but I have always ascribed to being the most professional salesman I can be (and I know some of you hate it when I say "salesman", but I am a man and I sell for a living, so hence the term).

My thinking is no. Buyers are distracted enough and forget alot of what they see in homes while on tour/showings. Kids tend to be big distractions. Also, what if they need to stop for a bathroom break? Are you going to change diapers in a home for sale or stop at the local mini mart or gas station during your tours? There is also the chances of un caged dods, chemicals present or mold. Not everything is disclosed to agents prior to entering a home. It's not something I would leave to chance. I don't really care for parents bring their parents or children out on showings the first time for the very same reasons. I don't tell them this, but it's my feeling they would focus more on the properties. If it were me, the buyers could/should bring the parents or children on the second showing.

A few times a year an emergency arises in which I have to take a kid or two with me on an appointment. I have three kids now 14, 8, and 3. They have all been on appointments and even to closings with me at one time or another. I started 15 years ago so juggling a home office and with the luck of a drop in babysitter, and a semi retired grandmother, I have managed. If I have an appointment to show 1 or 2 homes, I will not schedule a paid babysitter for the entire day. Maybe because over the years people cancel the appointment at last minute. Daycare is expensive and my kids are well behaved. My 3year old is at the age when the attention span is a minute so I would not dare take her to a closing until she is about 5. But I have done it before when an absolute emergency. I encourage my clients to bring their children when I think I may have mine.

I agree with what most people here said. #1, It depends on the client. I work with clients that have small children and also have clients that have no children or they are grown and out of the house...I don't have kids so this isn't something I need to worry about now... #2, If the only way you can show the home is with your children, I would ask the client if it's OK first. I had to show a house over the weekend with a client, her two kids, her sister and her sister's son... They were all so excited about the house and running around and screaming so much it was hard for my client to even have the opportunity to focus on the home.... She finally had to tell everybody to settle down so she could have a moment to take the house in...

Chanda panda

Jamie -- I've done it myself when the best time for a client to see a home was before his work day and before pre-school hours. But, like others' comments here, I told my client so he knew what to expect. It was only one house at a time, and certainly not when we met to write up a contract, or tour many properties.

If you have trained your children to behave while you are working with clients, that could turn out to be a positive trait your clients will remember you for. Say that little princess of yours was completely mannered and sweet, your clients whether young or old will remember it and respect you for your skills in raising the child. Could just well be a hook for referrals. I'm just saying....whatever it takes to be good at your job and your life. After all what else matters in this life greater than your family.

I think it is inappropriate for any Realtor to bring their young children with them to a showing appointment. We are professionals and professionals sometimes bring kids to the office, but the office does not include someone else's home. I have seen too many instances where the kids become a distraction and the focus of the appointment becomes entertaining someone else's kid instead of looking at a house.

Same with buyer's bringing their kids to a showing. I always suggest that my buyers preview a home without the kids for the first showing. This way, I can have their undivided attention and they can focus on the objective of buying a new home. If kids are brought during a second showing, I have no hesitation to tell the parents up front that the home owners have requested that their personal property not be manhandled by small kids and that any toys not be played with (this also helps me to get the homeowner to declutter by putting away all the toys lying around).

Unfortunately, I have seen one too many melt downs by the owner's kids when they see that they toys have been played with or even broken. It reflects negatively on me as a Realtor and on the quality of the home buyer. This is not a good way to start off a relationship between the seller and the buyer.

I've had to do it a couple of times. It's not ideal for me, though. They usually can behave for one house, but it's too much to take them to any more than that.

I adjusted my business so I would not be put in that position. I let clients know that I have a child and need notice to show property (outside of regular business hours) so I can make childcare arrangements. My family comes first and foremost...period.

Also, it's not just about the client's approval to bring children along. I think the listing agent deserves a call as well so they can ok it along with their seller. We must be respectful of the seller's home.

Tina in Virginia

I have 10 kids...so don't take this wrong. I think it is unprofessional to take your kids, period.

Now, having said that, I get the part about "on the spur of the moment" you might ask if it were ok. But, I still feel there is nothing ok about taking the kids into your workplace. When I was an Accountant, I would not have dreamed of taking my kids to the office to not only take away from giving my projects 100% attention but also would not want to disrupt my associates in any manner.

In Real Estate, it's not disrupting your co-workers when showing but it takes away from the attention you should be giving your clients. The concept, in itself is just not professional. I'm sure if it were a 10-11-12+ it wouldn't be a matter of them interrupting or taking you away from your selling. But, 3-4-5 and lugging carriers or holding a baby...while showing????

Mr. & Mrs. Buyer, here we have a very...Tommy stop that... ok here we have a nice bla blah blah...Tommy Mom wants you to stop that and stay with me... Ok, I guess you alread saw that Mr. & Mrs. Buyer...Umm...look at this great... Tommy... NOPE-nope-nope... you are not doing a professional job when you take your kids to show homes...no matter whom the client is.

I see all points of view. I say it has a lot to do with how well your kids will behave in public. I have a theory that most kids are mild or wild. Mine are a bit on the wild side! So, if you and your client are in a rut and you take your kids to a last minute appointment, good for you. Only you and your clients can determine case by case if it's okay!

I agree with Mary that it just unprofessional to have your kids with you BUT I have been in a bind before and have taken my youngest with me for a showing. The only time that I have been forced into this situation is later in the evening and always a "last minute request" from a buyer. I always let everyone know that I will have to bring a child with me.

It is important that you establish "family time" during the day. Our job is 24/7 but most clients understand that about me and always are apologetic about having to schedule an appointment so last minute. It also helps to put you in the drivers seat a little better with your clients too.

I would never arrange for a full day of showing houses where I had to bring my kids along.

That is great. You get to spend time with them and teach them social skills...

Sorry, I think children do not belong in any business setting. If you were my agent I would probably fire you. I am a mother, however I would want any professional person to give me, the client, full attention. I also believe pets are a similar issue. I have seen closing attorneys have their pets in the office. I have also had to "baby/pet sit" at closings. We are not Mom & Pop shops, we are professional service providers.

Good discussion - truly there are times and situations when having children there or not there would be inappropriate.

I have trained my children to work since they were young, and now that they are teens, they are part of my home staging team. I find that most clients appreciate our ability to combine business and family, and that I am training future busineswomen. They work hard and often have great suggestions that I hadn't thought of.

I am a single mom and do not have any relatives that live in the same area, let alone same state as I do. Up until this year, I felt that my kids were too young to stay home alone and the people that I would have trusted to babysit my kids worked full-time and couldn't stay with my kids if I had to go show. I always gave my clients an option. I could show the property and bring my children or we could schedule another time when I could be without them. I never had a client tell me that he or she wanted to postpone the showing.

Now that they are old enough to be home alone, I don't have to worry about it anymore, but when you are the only one in your home earning an income, sometimes you have to do things that not everyone will like. In the end, you must do what you feel is right for you and your family.

I've brought my child on showing appointments many times and you're right the clients love it especially if they have a child the same age as mine, the kids occupy each other while the parents are allowed to view the house.

I agree with most of these posts. I have children, however, I do not believe it is a wise idea to bring them with me on showings, listings, etc.

It is very distracting to have children along and I feel certain that most clients would not appreciate (but may tolerate) the agent bringing children. It takes away from the conversation that should be taking place and puts it more on your kids. I love my children but feel that I am better off separating my personal and business life and I believe the majority of my clients appreciate the fact that I leave the kids at home and concentrate solely on the business with them.

I guess it depends. And I think it may vary by area. It's not my ideal situation. I have a hard time showing property sometimes with the buyers' kids in tow.

I think it's reasonable to give buyers the choice of kids in tow when showing on short notice. But if I as a buyer made an appointment in advance, I would be upset if an agent arrived with kids. I don't mean to be unsympathetic, just honest. I do think this will vary by area. But since I can safely assume that SOME buyers may not like it, I would try to avoid it.

I've brought my kids quite a few times. There are clients that would have little patience for that so I was careful to get to know my clients before bringing the kids but, as a Single FULL TIME father of two, there were times wher there was no other way.

I live in a tough market for this kind of thing with some very pricey property but, you have to do what you have to do.

I say don't make it a regular thing if avoidable but, do what you have to do to get your job done!

My kids are part of me. If the client doesn't want kids around they probably need to find a different Realtor. I put in plenty of hours and effort for my clients but I only get a limited amount of time with my children per day. Therefore, I refuse to pass up the opportunity at night or on a weekend to show my kids the big world out there - my world. My kids are especially good navigators and I can better concentrate on the driving while they are directing me where to go. My clients are always impressed when I bring the kids along - it's a personal business isn't it? The best part for me however, is that they tend to talk more when they are helping me because the focus isn't on them. I know...it's sneaky but I find out more about them when they are helping Dad than when I'm asking direct questions - their world. Professionalism is more than a nice suit or a fancy car or a slick presentation or not having "distracting" children around. Professionalism is better measured by the product and effort you produce for your clients. For me that sometimes involves my kids. In the end, a better life for my family is the real reason I'm working so hard anyway.

My first thought is that it's unprofessional. To me, showing houses is all about the buyer, not me. Sure, people like to know me as a person, and kids can be adorable, but that's not the focus of the biggest decision most people will make in their lifetimes. Still, for those single parents who have no choice, or when clients want to go RIGHT NOW and you tell them you'll have to bring the kids, I say go for it. It should be the exception to the rule.

You know, if this works for you then so be it...I, myself, have a hard time when buyers bring their kids...so I cn only imagine what it would be like to drag my own along. Heck, my youngest turns 30 next month, and I wouldn't even bring her...But if it works for you, power toyou my friend. and yes they do grow up quickly...too quickly so cherish what you have because one day, they too may reach 30!

Jamie, I think it would be wise to ask the clients if they mind you bringing your children along. Most of them will probably say, no.

I SO do this a lot! I stay home 1-1/2 days durring the week with my kids so my wife can work and get out of the house. SOmetimes it's hard to not have appointments on those days so I always tell people those are my days off and I have my kids, but if they don't mind me bringing them along we'll go looking! They almost ALWAYS say yes and almost ALWAYS love haivng the kids there. They're a real ice breaker!

I would be very surprised if I was a client and you showed up with your kids. If you were in the work force you would not be allowed to bring your children to the office. However, I guess this is why most of have chosen this profession because of the flexibility. I've read most of the post written on this subject. It appears most do not see the problem. I've never had this problem. When I had small children they were in Day Care. If this works for you and the others then go for it. I personally as a client would not want to see your kids. You should take in to account that not everyone likes kids. Lastly, must admit you do have cute kids.

I have never brought the kids on a first appointment. I have brought them in tow on follow ups. One time I had 4 of them with me as we were on the way out of town. The youngest I have ever brought is 4.

As a PI and Claims Adjuster I used to take the kids on some out of town trips with me. They loved it and sat quietly when I was interviewing people or inspecting losses.

Jamie - what a variety of comments. It's nice to see a Dad with this opinion. I too bring my kids with me to show houses. I work from home and can't set up day care for every minute a client wants to see houses. Nor do I want to, I like my kids. I will however, show a client or potential client a house anytime and last minute. I tell them, "Yes, I can be there in an hour but I will have my kids or we can make an appointment for.... " They do have the option. If I lose a client due to my family so be it, I love my job but love my family more. Sure people with "normal" office jobs can't bring their kids, but are they working at 7:30 at night and weekends?

Jamie,

My son was 3 when I started in Real Estate as a single mom. He sat thru many listing appointments, property showings, and settlements over the years. (He was in daycare during the day and with me at night.) I ALWAYS coached him to not say anything to hurt anyone's feelings. He was great! We survived! Enjoy your kids and do what you need to do!

Kathy Opatka

There would be times when you need to be creative. As long as the buyer knows ahead of time that your are bringing your kids and they are ok with that. At least there's no surprises.

Jamie...

I am of the opinion that our Customers deserve to have our undivided attention when we are with them. In my younger days I never brought my children to work. I feel we need to set boundaries. I also feel that the Consumer wants us to have boundaries, and will respect us for having them. Just my nickel, for whatever that's worth to you :)

TLW...ROAR!

Jamie, I've read all the comments here and I can see both sides of the issue. I've been a working mom since my oldest son was 6 days old - and he now has kids of his own - so I've been at it for awhile. I don't take my kids on showings. I've only violated my own rule once, which I recently posted about. Fortunately it turned out well, but I personally can't divide my time between making sure my child is behaving and sizing up the sales situation, watching my client for nonverbal clues, and focusing on them.

My two youngest are teenagers now and both of them come to the office after school to do their homework and help Mom with computer stuff. If a client comes in, they are old enough to shake hands, answer the phone while I'm busy and make copies of paperwork if needed. Ultimately, everyone has their own style and if it's working for you and your buyers, then what's the problem?

I have to say "no" to the kids. I did it once a few years ago when my kids were around 6 or 7 and would never do it again. We have to have boundaries and be professional. I may say 'yes' to my plumber bringing his kids out of politeness, but I would have it in the back of my mind that I really didn't want him to do it.

We must secure boundaries and not let clients have us jumping at the whim for everything. How many times have you done that and they actually bought something?

Now, my caveat would be if they are old enough to stay in the car or old enough to dress appropriate and be an agent-in-training.

Otherwise, re-schedule the appointment.

And, how embarrassing is it if the owners are home and everyone is walking in with kids and the kids are touching everything. Not a picture of professionalism when it's your child.

It depends on the situation... my kids are old enough that I don't have to bring them, but one time I was in the car with my dog, and had to make an appointment at the last minute. Of course I didn't bring him in the house, but everyone got a kick out of the fact that dog was in tow

We have the coolest facility in our city called "PLAYAWAY". It is a drop off Babysitting service. My kids loved it when they were younger and used to beg me to take them there. They did not understand that it wasn't free. They just knew it was FUN!

I realize few places would have this service, but I also realize how few people know this service is available and it has been here for 17 years. It's all word of mouth.

Bottom line is that you can't always drop kids off or make other arrangements. I keep a bag of all age toys in a bag in the trunk for those times and in the back-seat sits Marshmallow, MY Teddy Bear.

Customers get a big kick out of it wanting to know whose Bear it is. MINE! It is my STRESS BEAR! I either give it a BIG HUG to release that natural endorphins or I beat the daylights out of it (Either Way I will feel Better). Clearly the bear looks brand new!! The beating is a joke because Marshmallow, only gets hugs!

PS Marshmallow is my 2nd Bear - Honey-Jo was retired from wiping up too many Coke spills from you guessed it - MY KIDS! Joy

Wow, this is the first time I have had a chance to respond. It has been quite a day. I don't make it a regular thing to tow my kids with me, but on occaision- for example buyers wanting to see a house again after they have it under contract and just want to see it for a few minutes, I may bring one of my munchikins with me if mom is busy or just simply needs a break (she is a stay at home mom- a way harder job than anything that I do).

I would not bring the kids on a first appointment or if I don't know the client very well. I do see the professionalism point but would defer that it really depends on the client and the report that I have built with that client. I was recently suprised that a client whom I would not have thought to ever bring my munchkin with me asked at the very last minute to see a house. I informed them the only way I could is if I had my kids with me as my wife wasn't available and they were agreeable. So you never know.

It is great to see all of the dialogue. Thanks for your comments and feedback.

Thanks Tim,

I, too, agree they can be a great ice breaker. It also shows them how to work hard and they learn how to beahave in the proper way in front of all different types of people.

Clark,

What a great comment. The reason we are doing this is for our families and they are very much a part of us.

Thanks again to everyone who commented. It is great that we can have such differenting opinions but continue to be a supportive community.

I waited for my sons to be old enough to be home alone before I became a Realtor. Most of my clients are very easy going and really wouldn't mind. I did have my two sons in my car while I met a client at a property. The neighbor was chatting my client up and my boys were tired of waiting in the car to leave (his vehicle was parked behind mine), So, they honked my car horn! I was horrified. Fortunately, my client thought it was great because the neighbor was talking his ear off and he needed an excuse to get away.

Before I was a Realtor, we hired an agent to sell my mother-in-law's condo. The Realtor brought her toddler to all signings and was very distracted. Needless to say, my mother-in-law thought it was very unprofessional and that the Realtor should have hired a sitter so she could pay attention to her work. I think it all depends on what part of the transaction you are working on and how your clients view children.

My family seems to have a great need to call me on my cell when I'm with clients to ask what's for dinner or who's driving to soccer, when will I be back, etc.

OCT

It is best to avoid but it really it depends on the situation and your comfort level with your client. I would definitely give my client a heads up and see if it was okay with them or would they prefer to reschedule. Bottom line it is your business and you get to run it the way you want.

Sorry, but I don't think the kids belong with you at all while you are at work. I have 4 of my own, but would never, ever, ever bring any of them along with me on any type of appointment that involves face to face with my clients. They are paying for my professional services, not for me to be distracted by my children. If someone wanted one of those last minute appointments and I didn't have child care, I would simply explain that I was already booked for that time and offer an alternative date/time. Just my .02.

Cute kids. The name of the game is service. I think clients understand that there are times when the norm just doesn't work. Besides, the kids might be Jr. Realtors in disguise. Enjoy them while they're young. They grow up way too fast.

It seems like a lot of folks here have missed the point. You should never have to bring your children with you. That is not professional and your clients will not have all your attention. However, there are exeptions where bringing a child along may actually help. There have been times when I showed homes to a family with children close to the age of my son, and I thought it might help to keep the other child distracted so his parents could look at the house and talk with me about it rather then hassling his parents. In these cases I usually asked my clients about bringing my son along and it was very helpful.

Business should be looked at even for real estate as a 9 to 5 situation. That is when 'business' is conducted for phone calls etc. Showings obviously is different and I wouldn't bring my kids under any circumstances. I know many of my single clients wouldn't put up with it for a second. I don't even like it when buyers bring their kids who get bored after 2 minutes in the house. I've just had a seller call me recently where the kids sat down in the livingroom and turned on the TV and stereo and the parents did nothing to stop it! Yikes.

It's not professional. We like to whine that we're not treated like other professionals on one hand, but on the other hand we don't want to behave like other professionals. We have the responsibility of helping people spend A LOT of money- even a cheap house of $50K or $60K is A LOT OF MONEY. The commission made off a sale is a lot of money- so hire a babysitter or schedule the appointment for another time. If we want to be treated like professionals we need to behave like professionals.

OCT

Jamie, your daughters are SO CUTE! You can bring them along with me :-)

I have kids come with the rents all the time for showings. I do not see a problem and the kids enjoy picking out thier room.

OCT

It all depends - how many kids and are they well behaved. I don't think it should be part of a routine to bring kids to showing appointments granted it will be in case of an emergency. I did it once with my 4 yr old grandson because my daughter was very sick with the flu and I decided to take care of him that day so that she can take time to recoup. I asked the mother/daughter customers if they didn't mind. At the end of the fourth showing my grandson said, "Well, what do you think, do you like it? And we all laughed.

Another scenario was that the other Realtor came along with three of her kids, I had to be there to show the home. The kids were digging in a toy box and made an entire mess while the mother was trying to focus on the customers and answering questions. I felt bad for the agent as she was embarassed, she had just picked them up from the sitters and was just trying to show a home to try and sell and make a living which is why I didn't mind keeping an eye on them. And yes, the Realtor/mother picked up after the kids mess.

So, it all depends on the situation, I'd say to at least state the situation and it should be only because of an emergency and don't forget to ask and not just assume that the other parties involved will be okay with it and think of you as a rude and unprofessional Realtor.

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