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Do I Really Want to Know?

… That you spend hours and hours of every day posting and commenting on political and social posts that have no potential for advancing my home buying or selling endeavor?

… That you are sarcastic, contentious, an extremist, a know-it-all or just downright hateful? Because when I read your posts and comments to others on this forum, I am truly appalled.

… That you are not really the professional that you hold yourself up to be? Instead, you spend your day more focused upon shoving your ego into overdrive the moment a new controversy arises?

… That you will treat the potential buyer, seller, agent, or inspector of my property with total disdain and prejudice if she is gay, muslim, a republican, or fat?

The more I think about, the more I DO want to know these things about you. Before it’s too late!

I am your client, your referral source, your colleague and everyone who is looking for a Real Estate Professional. I happened upon your link while searching the internet to learn more about YOU. What I found is that you are simply one among a parade of losers who deplete the productive hours of your day in a worthless discussion about religion, politics and rag magazine banter.

I don’t mind if you engage in a healthy debate now and again, but I plan to run, not walk to the next professional who presents themselves in the manner to which I’d like to be represented. Fortunately, you have plenty of competition. Their quality posts and congenial commentary here have really impressed me.

Think about that when you next log on.

Posted by Allentown PA Real Estate Broker * Jennifer Monroe * on 10/13/2009 01:58 PM

Comments (152)

Professionalism in the ActiveRain Channel

just a little food for thought

Post is included in group: Wrong Right Turn
Post is included in group: Silent Majority
Post is included in group: M.A.N.C.R.O.W
Post is included in group: Dead Rainers Society
Post is included in group: Blatant Politics

152 Comments on Do I Really Want to Know?

OCT

My Jennifer - A priceless piece of prose. Agreed.

Wow Jennifer - take no prisoners. I've been saying the same thing for quite some time but you summed it up much better than I ever did. Well done!

Beautifully written...and straightforward.... to give meaning to what NOT to do :)

I am the first to admit I am Guilty....

I am an extremist fighting extremists.

I applaud you Jennifer for your ability to put us all in our place.

I have been shouting to the rooftops against the unending waste of diatribe in these Groups. Mine Own included as I am far from being level-headed and capable of prose as you so eloquently are.

I muttle through to the best of my meagar ability and run head on to so many Brick walls my head is sore.

You on the other hand are an inspiration.

Jennifer - AMEN! I hope you weren't talking about people like me who have sometimes made the mistake of getting up on my soapbox to spout my personal opinions and experiences in a rather brutally honest tone.

Anyway, if there is one thing I have learned about being a member of AR it's that not everyone is here for the same reasons. While I joined AR so that I could increase my exposure to my local market, there are definitely people here who have a completely different agenda and not one that I would ever subscribe to.

P.S. - I just wanted to add that for the most part, I do try and keep my rants to my personal opinions and experiences as they apply to lending/real estate experiences.

My biggest pet peeve here in the rain are the AR Realtors who go around bashing LO's for sport. Although, I must say, arrogant and obnoxious REO LA's that treat my FHA clients like crap are most definitely moving up the pet peeve chart along with their REO bank reps who try and pilfer my approved buyers by making them pre-approve with them.

Great Post. The problem is I resemble your remarks. I will try to play nicer. LOL

Ouch and guilty:-)

Jennifer, Now I KNOW we don't have nay of these folks on AR do we? Maybe I just need to get out more. The sad thing is that I actually read the posts in a few of the political groups on here purely for their entertainment value. I completely understand that people have convictions. I don't understand when they have to be presented in nasty hateful ways.

People do not have to agree with me in order for me to be right :)

My Jason... :) And yet...

John... I was just having a moment. Typically I don't sound quite so shrill.

Sally... Thank you sweetie. I think know we share the same ideals for this forum. There is a time for fun and a time for professionalism - all of which have a place here. But not hateful, whiny and incessant babble.

Linda... All most of us are a little bit guilty. It is the excessive battling and hate-spewing that we seem to forget has an audience in our clientele.

Donne... I would never call out anyone in particular. Every reader of this post has the opportunity to reflect on how they condiuct themselves here and adjust accordingly. This is in no way meant to be personal to anyone.

Larry... Thanks Larry. That's the point after all.

My Inna... But you look so cute in that sandbox :))

Isn't that why we can post "off-topic" as one of our choices? And "members only."

In case any of my clients are reading this...and I highly doubt they are: I want you to know I love Fat, Gay, Muslim Republicans and I would be happy to serve you!

yes... I think you really want to know.

everything I publish on AR & elsewhere, is designed for public viewing... (except of course for the stuff that's not).

Jennifer,

You have put a mirror in front of anyone who reads your post and hopefully it will have a positive impact on all of our future blogging endeavors.

BB... You are always right in my book :) I, too, read some of the more extreme posts for entertainment value. But when they get truly nasty I begin to worry about how it makes this forum appear to the outside world. Some of us have been here for years and we've invested in building a treasure chest of meaningful posts that provide real value to our clients. I was simply feeling a little protective of that today.

Arizona Chick... Yes and no. Remember that while your off-topic post may be members only, your comments on another post may be public. And aren't you hoping for referrals from those other members?? I'm just sayin...

It is wise to remember that what we write here on the Internet is visible to the world. It's what we want, an Internet presence, but it can be a double edged sword.

...platinum prose ....

:o)

I guess it's difficult sometimes when you really believe in something and it is very important to you. Let's say that you had a vision from God. Would you pussy foot around worrying about how it is going to affect your business? If you think that one political party is going to eventually lead to the destruction of the country as you know it, do you sit back and watch it go to hell in a hand basket? Some are more tactful than others. I guess it depends how passionate you are about something and how patient you are with others who don't share your views.

Jennifer, Great post. Good or bad, I would say the same thing on either blog, public or members only. There is only one me and I have nothing to hide!

Excellent Post, it's great to be a person, but we are always being watched!

Well said Jennifer. I admit, I am prejudiced against prejudiced people and sometimes I find myself fighting against fighting. I am surprised to note that the most commented on blogs are the ones that are very controversial. I don't know why I'm surprised, we've known for years that if we want a big attendance at our association meetings all we have to do is stir up a little controversy.

Jennifer - I have never met a fat, gay, muslim republican woman, or man, for that matter. However, it would make no difference, I would treat them the same as anyone. Now a Yankees fan might be another story.

Jennifer, That reminds me of a blog I posted about a month ago, from a class I took. The instructor seemed to have a bone of contention with AR and he told brokers that if they had agents on Active Rain to get them off. Read the blog

Holy COW I am so glad to see you that I am leaving this comment and then reading your post!

oh...look at that my graphic word to submit this comment is: mocambo

ALRIGHT! I wrote something along this line about the way we are treating each other these days and frankly did not even take into consideration the effect that it has on those who read the various screeds posted in any number of Social networks!

Nice job my friend and it's always great to see you out and about (so to speak) tell your beloved I said hello!

Alan... Actually, your viewpoint isn't the one I'm interested in... it's Elvis's! What happened to him? What have you done?? :))

Anita... It probably won't, but we can always hope :)

JL... Very well said! But how easily forgotten...

Awww thanks Sheldon!

Tim... I would most definitely keep that bit of info quiet until I had further instructions. I know this much... I would NOT be announcing it on a REAL ESTATE FORUM. I might however, start my own church and make everyone of my followers wear pink :)!!

John... Then you are smarter than I!

Jason... I'm liking this person gig as well. Much more fun than being the monkey behind some of the nasty posts I've been reading.

Marian... Sad, isn't it?

Honestly, that's part of the reason that I like Active Rain. I have learned much from some of these off topic debates. That's why there is members only posts. Some people do take it too far, but that's what social media is all about.

Excellent points. The best advice is never to put anything up online that you wouldn't want on the front page of the Sunday paper or shown on the evening news. Now I'm going to go back through my posts and made sure that I have practiced what I'm preaching.

Jennifer Right on - I 've wanted to say this for so long and wasn't quite sure how to express it - you did it beautifully.

I am reading this entry out of sheer curiousity whilst enjoying a quick luncheon of an apple and a granola bar while I contemplate my lucky escrows that are keeping me away from being able to post here at Active Rain for the entire summer, which by the way, has been thankfully busy for me here at the coast.

This entry makes me wonder what happened to make you upset. It looks like I will have to come back and look at the archives....hopefully I will continue to have no time!

Since I may not be back for a little while may I send to you the best kind of gift. A gift of good cheer and happy thoughts that are sure to bring you.... "unexpected calls from qualified buyers, escrows that close without delays and the best luck that money can't buy!"

Hugs, :)

Barbara Le Pine, S & W Real Estate in beautiful Newport, Oregon

What's that old golden rule, never talk about politics or religion. More power to you for calling the foul.

Jennifer... this is a mouthful... I beleive you may be on to something here. This is a great forum to be involved in. Of course it should be used properly and we should ALWAYS respect each other.

And can we get this to apply to Facebook too? It would be great if I didn't have to hide everyone!

Hi Jennifer, I got sucked into some of the nasty political stuff. Then I realized that not one person in those forums is open to change !

Kate... I don't disagree with you when it comes to appreciating AR for allowing us to have some fun messing around on here. The Members Only feature is a great tool to accomplish that. But there are two things this arguement overlooks: First... that the other 'members' here are also a gold mine of referral sources. So in effect, they are also our clients and we are making an impression on them. Second, that many of our comments on heated posts are not members only posts. They are as visible as anything else we post. We don't have curtains on all our windows at home and we walk around scantily clad quite often. But we like how we look naked and we understand the consequences. That being said, I don't expect our neighbors will be asking us to represent them anytime soon either :)

I'm just reminding all of us to be aware of the impression we give.

Pangaea... I would never advocate being a tee-totaler. Just keep the heavy stuff off AR.

Karen... I wasn't sure either. I just said it in a moment of reflective frustration.

Barbara... I am thrilled for you that the market has picked up over there!! Betcha didn't know that I very recently relocated here from Portland! I already miss our beautiful coast and hope you don't find the time in your busy schedule to check back and read my reply :))

France & Mark... Ha! But isn't the Golden Rule a religious reference?? Just calling foul! :))

Roland... Then again, I have a very big mouth!

Hidden One... Would that include you?

Bill... No! Not you too! You are so very correct when you state that most of those in the bullring are NOT open to change. If they were, it might be worth the effort on a different forum.

Sometimes we need a wake up call to watch what we write...this might do it.

Jennifer - wow, what a thought-provoking post! My first thought was...what did I miss? Maybe I'm blind to it, or maybe I just don't venture into those forums. It certainly makes me want to take a second look at my own blog with a different set of eyes. Thanks for the post!

Elvis Schmelvis!

Jennifer, I have been feeling the same thing and mulling over my own post for several weeks you have said it much better than I would have.

Hugs to you both.

"Aunt Brenda"

Chuck... I doubt it but it never hurts to try.

Lina... Trust me.. you didn't miss a thing!

Elvis... Going to read that one now...

Aunt Brenda... And hugs right back you both!

Very nicely put here, and I agree with you. A healthy debate is good, however sans the sarcasm and ego boosting. Not too likely to attract people that way!

A-MEN to your post! It's hard to understand why people sometimes post things that the public -- including their potential clients -- might read that are super-sarcastic, rude, or overtly political. (However, it's likely their competitors don't mind one bit.) There are specific groups/forums for those folks and they should remember to go there.

I have a question regarding the "Members Only" posts versus the "public" posts. While somebody who is not a member of ActiveRain cannot read the "Members Only" posts, what about out there in "googleland" and elsewhere on the internet? Do our "Members Only" posts get picked up by search engines?

I am new to posting here on ActiveRain, but have been a member for quite some time, reading posts every now and then. As of this week, I am officially active, have commented on a few posts, and actually wrote one of my own yesterday. But, I've always wondered whether or not those "Members Only" posts got picked up by search engines.

Thank you, Jennifer, for a great post!

Way to go, Jennifer. I cannot tell you how many posts I have written about the importance of online behavior and NOBODY listens. But, as you indicate, maybe seeing one's true colors is for the best!

Hi Jennifer...I've been relatively absent for the past few months and during that time there was one voice I truly missed. Yours!

Kate

{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Jennifer- Digging your post here. We all hope to gain a few clients from AR. No doubt there. I also hope to gain a few friends here as well. I make no secret of the fact that I am a conservative. All of my blogs are public. No members only. I have many customers who call me because they read my blog and liked what they read. I have also had customers call me who told me they heard that I was very good at what I do but were not sure about my politics. I also publish a small political mag in my area. It probably pisses off a few potential clients. We meet and they check my past work, and it usually ends up in a business relationship. My wife and I host a huge party/dinner/concert every year for all of our past clients. Lots of fun, dancing, drinking, and political arguing usually ensues, but we remain friends.

FYI- I have built homes for gay people, muslim people, fat people, and republican people, but never anyone who was all of the above. I will make that my highest goal next year. I promise.

Nice post. I will try later to say the same things a little more eloquently in my own blog.

In ancient Greece there was two faction who disagreed about pleasure. The Hedonist said there was no such thing as excess. The Epicureans said all thing in moderation. Thank you for your Epicurean treatise.

Wonderfully put. This really makes you step back in order to be more conscious of all that you say and do. Thank you for this 'splash of cold water'.

Be well,

Brendan Winans

Nice job Jennifer. Sometimes I see the type of posts that you mention and think, "wow! Do these people realize the entire world can read this stuff?". When all is said and done this is still a PROFESSIONAL forum. Best of luck to you.

You talkin' to me...? You talkin' to me...?

Jennifer, right you are, good or bad, those Internet postings can stay out there a really long time!!

a parade of losers who deplete the productive hours of your day in a worthless discussion about religion, politics and rag magazine banter.

I have seen members of THAT parade here....

Short sweet and spot on. Thank you for posting this. I cannot abide intolerance of any form.

Be professional pure and simple.

I am proud of the fact that I am aware I am not yet up to the challenge of writing a blog like this. If I did, it more than likely would come off, just like what you are pointing out. Well done on the prose

Hi Jennifer...Had to come back when I saw you received a gold star. Well deserved.

Kate

Jennifer, you said this so well. Beautifully done. The blogs live on forever. I had a call the other day from someone who was looking for a person that I'd featured on my blog because he made me some divinity. They are out there and I hope mine are never obnoxious.

Potential buyers and sellers read your comments too so it pays to be nice. Let your personality show

Jennifer, great post. I agree. Thank you for putting it so well!

Hi Jen,

Hope Jason told you I sent my greetings the other day. First I KNOW I have been guilty of writing things i shouldn't have and have callee more than a few people to apologize. I also know that I have had perfect strangers (not AR members) call me just to thank me for something they read which I wrote.My few customer calls from AR have been from a very specific group of people whom have almost always called me as someone they felt they could trust even though they had no money or were not from anywhere near me. I have tried very hard for the past year of so to think before I hit submit and I rarely post anymore.You and Jason can probably figure my reasons out. But

The problem I see with a post like this is that the truly guilty(in my humble opinion) never see themselves. Everyone wants to agree with you and in a few cases it is turning my stomach.

On a second note, if your feelings are that strong about something that you would rant about it in a public forum, but then forget about it when it comes to making a dollar. Than I guess you were full of it in the first place.

Hi Jennifer~ I have read some posts that are blatantly rude and obnoxious. There is never ever any reason for that!

I have to disagree with this blog. I just recently got involved in the political corner of Activerain. It provides as great entertainment value. I personally get involved in the member's only blogs. Those blogs do not get released to the general public. They should be an "anything goes" policy as long as they stay in those political groups and not public.

Jennifer -

I'm a late comer to your post today but appreciate it so much that I wanted to add to your comment roll call. It amazes me, especially when we have a "members only" option, that some still choose to offer themselves to cyber space in such an unflattering manner.

Thank you, thank you,

Michael

Jennifer: Thank you for the eye-opening article. It reminds me that no matter the forum, no matter the topic ... there is an audience and an impression being formed by me ... and made regarding me and our industry as a whole because of the impression I make. There is truly no "down time" on the internet. Especially as business-people, we should remember that.

Thanks for the reminder and lesson ...

Gene

Jennifer...

Like of lot of others, I have been try to figure out how to say what you just said ... perfectly!

You should get 5 gold stars for this one!

Jennifer - While I agree that some topics are "hot" topics and offer very heated debates, the political scene of our nation will eventually effect our "realtor" community in a very dramatic way.

Therefore, I think it is imperative that we speak up with whats happening.

Like Martin Neimoeller once said,

First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out--
    because I was not a communist;
Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out--
    because I was not a socialist;
Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out--
    because I was not a trade unionist;
Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out--
    because I was not a Jew;
Then they came for me--
    and there was no one left to speak out for me.

My Jennifer - As you lay asleep now, and I'm about to join you, I'm reminded of one of the plethora of reasons I so adore you. You can churn out in five minutes what takes others hours to even think of or about. But that's not it. Intelligence isn't the only attribute that I so love. Oh no! Your soul is the shining moment every step of the way. I only hope to someday be worthy of such a prize... and life.

"I have to disagree with this blog. I just recently got involved in the political corner of Activerain. It provides as great entertainment value. I personally get involved in the member's only blogs. Those blogs do not get released to the general public. They should be an "anything goes" policy as long as they stay in those political groups and not public."

Well, Casual Observer, we do agree on the entertainment value. However, I also believe the AR Community & Staff have an obligation to fulfill their destined desires. Their role in the industry they have helped to propel to consumers and participants via not only the Internet, but above and beyond in translating into get togethers and interaction is pretty darn impressive. And that comes, often times, with making difficult decisions. When free reign is afforded, which is often the case around here, members and non-members tend to abuse such a privilege.

Don't get me wrong. I've written some pretty over the top stuff. I will probably continue to do so. I will also continue to contribute bouts of Mortgage Knowledge that will make any statistical stomach turn. I consider myself a pretty extreme guy. But being nasty does nobody any good. Sometimes, that is what posts in political groups resort too.

Every contributor represents this forum in their own way. This post, by the love of my life, represents this forum from a standpoint that I don't think we gage as a possibility/reality, at times. Beyond the previous two sentences, this forum has an obligation to ensure they are represented in the manner they so choose... We Are Real Estate. I suppose it's our choice whether we want to define our industry or not. AR made their choice from the get go.

Great post Jennifer! I say its up every single individual and I would challenge my friends and my non friends here on AR, to engage in fruitful debate, instead of the circus that occurs here all too often.

Hello, my name is Nogui and I'm a right wing hater and trasher. I would like to debate on an honest level and take part in lifting these forums to a level of decency.

Who's with me?

Jennifer, as always, a wonderfully written, thought provoking post...though I must admit, I kinda dig Inna's rants from time to time... ;-)

Hmmm...the spirit of what you have written Jennifer is genuine and noble enough, but somehow it smacks of censorship..unless what you are advocating is that we censor ourselves first when it comes to some topics...

Awesome post Jennifer----sometimes the din of the few drowns out the common sense of the many.

straight to the point and with purpose. great post. keep em coming.

People sometimes need to remember that this is a public forum and keep in mind what their mother taught them - If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Jennifer, "sigh" and I'm so glad I didn't recognize myself in your writing. For that I'm grateful. You go girl!

Deb

OCT

Based on some interchanges I've seen, some on here can only hope potential clients don't know enough to come here to screen agents.

Good post, good points.

First let me say I have missed your writing here, so elegant in a gentle way.

I agree with you that if that is all the folks are writing here is political or religious then there are plenty of forums, blogs etc they should be contributing too. However, if you are a Realtor or Lender and are passionate about your beliefs, then in my opinion there is nothing wrong or distasteful about posting on those topics from time to time.

I use to comment on them...but the last month or so tend to move on. I do think they should be members only but again that is my opinion.

Hang around more....

Joe - My father always taught me everything in moderation. It didn't occur to me that came from Epicurus. As I understand, Epicurus and his followers also shunned politics as well.

There is a big difference between religion an politics.

With religion, you can go meet up with like minded people and do whatever you want. It usually isn't going to affect my life one bit. So I really don't care what you believe.

Politics is a different story. That affects my life directly. Government is about power and how those people in power use it. Polite and civil citizens of Germany allowed Hitler to legally take over and look what happened. So if something is going to affect my life, I'm going to make sure I try to influence as many as possible into my way of thinking.

I see no reason why political discussions shouldn't be a natural and accepted part of everyday life. Government affects everyone's life. Unlike religion, it has deadly force to back up it's mandates. Power always corrupts. Open political discussion is the way to keep that power in check.

This is exactly why I miss you my friend. You writing always makes us think and sometimes makes people mad, but those are the exact people that need to hear your message, but the sad part is those are the people that are least likely to listen.

Todd Clark - www.LivingBeaverton.com

Anytime I come across a blog that makes people think, I have to leave a comment....and this one qualifies. Excellent post...and, I think this is the first one of yours that I have read....

Consider me a fan.

It's possible to go in a number of directions from your post, but simply it'a a reminder that we're not as important as WE believe we are and there's really no place to deliberately disrupt harmony !

One of my clients sent me an email a while back. He is a builder and not a member of AR. Apparently he was lurking and read a very negative rant by a fellow AR member. He mentioned to me that he would never hire that person or anyone who projected such "an unprofessional and negative image" on a public forum. I was stunned that he a)knew about AR b)was lurking on AR and c) let me know that he appreciated my professionalism and had no respect for the ranter. You just never know who is reading what you post. AR is a very public forum.

Thanks for saying it so succinctly.

Oh boy do I have some catching up to do! I'll be back to respond to all of your wonderful comments after I take my honey to work :)

Jen...

I don't even bother reading them anymore. It's a waste of my time. I know who's on the left, who's on the right, and somewhere in the middle of all of that, lies truth.

There are times that I do find myself wondering how some of these people stay in business. Then I realize they probably aren't. They just happen to have a real estate license and are trolling the web looking for unsuspecting Consumers.

Is it really any wonder why our Industry has such a bad rep?

TLW...ROAR!

Good Blog- I have felt the same way about some of these blogs and have actually been on the fence of blogging because of what you have mentioned here. Thanks for the blog

Apparently, I've been skipping right over these posts. I've seen quite a few people posting lately about the people posting these types of blogs. In my opinion, if they want to look like an idiot, it's up to them as long as they don't say hateful malicious things to those that respond back and don't agree with how they think..

I stay away from these types of posts anyway. I'm here for other reasons...

Chanda panda

Thank you for making us think and for reminding us that our words will follow us FOREVER!

Great post. Not only is big brother watching but potentially anyone you know now or may have had the chance to meet in the future.

Please post this response after 9pm so that everyone thinks I worked all day and wasn't using valuable working hours in the rain. :)

Jennifer somehow you have captured my exact thoughts when it comes to people spending so much time online that they are not focused on being with their clients, focused on prospecting and doing what they were hired to do by their clients. Sure clients want to see an online presence - its necessary but like you so eloquently stated it's about sharing things in a positive way, sharing relevant content and showcasing what you will do and how you will represent a potential client. I know all too well about searching for an agent to represent me and believe me when I tell you that when I see too much of the negative, unproductive and hurtful posts and comments it's a turn off and has me moving right along to find someone that I can truly relate to - excellent post - consider me a new subscriber to your blog :) I hope many will think about what they post and the message they are trying to convey - customers are reading it all and with the internet it stays there forever. ~ Anne Marie

Ms Monroe: Well then... according to your point of view... I guess I had better quit the RaGFaRM Active Rain group, huh ? Now that I see your logic... i agree that the organization Realtors Against Gay Fat Republican Muslims has NO place on Active Rain.

Jennifer: Thank you. Truer words were never spoken! It's interesting you blogged about this; I jsut posted about injecting your perosnality into your blog. Read it and comment if you have time. You have injected your personality here. Good job!

all of the above are the main reasons I'm no longer "active" in the rain anymore. good, solid post. thanks

Jennifer, thank you, thank you, thank you. Great post. You said it so well. And, I noticed at least one of your responders still hasn't a clue. Keep them coming!

When you are blogging or advertising in any manner, as a professional of any type, politics and religion should never be involved. It goes back to what my parents taught me as a little girl, don't ever discuss politics or religion with anyone. Regarding blogging and social media - the reason why I spend a number of hours per week involved in these groups is to make potential contacts is to obtain potential customers for my business, and to gain insight from solid industry related information.

Carolyn Hawkins, Realtor Associate

Allison James Estates and Homes, Inc.

Lake Suzy, Fl.

::THUNDERING APPLAUSE:: When I first joined AR, I thought it was just a real estate forum. Then I saw people posting jokes (OK, we all need to laugh), recipes (Hmm...well, I guess we all have to eat), and as I dug deeper I found some members that decided this was the perfect place to turn a real estate forum into a public political bashing of whatever party they opposed (there are people on both sides that do this). I hold many of my personal views very closely and privately because I don't think that a forum for real estate is the place to splash the news of any of my convictions that don't have anything to do with how I will represent a client. I'm pretty sure that anyone who reads me actually has no idea if I'm blue or red, muslim or not - the smart ones have already figured out if I'm gay or fat, but not because I shout it from the mountain tops and beat people over the head with it.

p.s. The holidays are coming soon - got pie? :)

Do you feel better now that you've gotten this off of your chest? There are some deep down emotions that need serious psychological examination before you get involved in a road rage incident!

Hugh - well said:-)

All: I have gotten clients via my AR blog, and I am a snarky, take no prisoners, speak my mind kind of gal (and that's putting t mildly).

Bashing any one group of people or personal attacks inevitably make the attacker look like a douchebag, and yes, quite possibly cost one business. That said, I do think that if this platform consisted of market reports and ass-kissy industry posts or gratitude to AR posts, it would be quite boring on the one hand, and on the other, it would make it so much harder for any of us to connect with people we like on here.

I know who I am, and, as stated earlier, I am quite guilty of writing inappropriate for AR posts. They are all public, and if they reflect poorly on me for a certain segment of the population, than those people wouldn't have liked me if we ever met anyway. Just my two cents:-)

Hi Lisa- :-)

Mike... Really? Never? I seem to recall dating one once. But she was a basketball fan so you two would have gotten along swimmingly!

Sybil... I just read that blog and it does sound as if the guy was rather quick to judge. This site has more information about real estate than any other anywhere. Including a lot about the contributors themselves. Which is why I wrote this little reminder to ALL that we are all making an impression whether we remember that or not.

Russell... It's nice to see you too again my friend! I will certainly give him a big Texas style 'hello' for you :)

Sharon... That's my point exactly. It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye.

Maureen... I guess it says a lot about this forum if people prefer to kick sand here rather than find a more appropriate place to do so. Unfortunately, they are ruining our professional reputation when they take it to extremes. How's the market back home?

Tammy... I'm glad you thought to ask the question. While I am not a Google expert, my understanding is that the Members Only posts themselves do not get picked up. Nor, I believe, do the comments. The danger lies in either not checking to be certain a given post is not public, or when public posts take a sudden turn via the comment stream. I've been guilty of not paying attention myself and finding that I was not behind closed doors after all. I recommend that you double check my answer with one of the Gods here at AR just to be sure.

Jennifer: Wow - everyone needs to read this before the fingers hit the keyboard. We get so comfortable we forget sometimes that what we write is a reflection upon us.

Excellent reminder of how greater exposure requires greater care in your words...

I'm a newbie to AR and the whole blogging and social networking thing so forgive my neivete. But isn't that what these venues are all about? Espousing your views and opinions and maybe picking up an occassional client? Oh well I guess you set me straight. Just another learning curve. Happy blogging.

Melissa... You're absolutely right. Maybe those that don;t see are inadvertently helping the rest of us.

Kate... You just made my day!!! Big MWA to you and it's great to see your face!

Sally... Big Hug back at ya!!

Kevin... I absolutely love your comment!! You've put my perspective into perspective :)) I know you know what I mean. You know me and know that I also have my political bent and I let it show through here now and again. My post is nothing more than a reminder that the extreme hatred, bigotry and bullying that takes place can overshadow the purpose of this forum if we are not careful about showing some consideration to one another. That being said, Jason and I will be looking for our invitation to that party!!!

Aaron... Go spread the word my friend!

Joe... And yet I am such a Hedonist at heart!!

Brenden... You're welcome!

Jerry... "When all is said and done this is still a PROFESSIONAL forum." Precisely!

David... I love that!! And if you're wearing a gun, then no, I was talking to that guy behind you :)

Gary... I have always been curious about how long....

Jennifer, I've often wondered the same thing. My most controversial post was about open houses. Who knew there was such openhousephobia? lol I rarely write political posts except about local real estate issues. However, I enjoy politics so I do read and comment on them. My reputation and real estate business are important to me so I am very careful what I write. I'm always respectful of other members but I would be remiss if I did not comment to correct blatant errors. Although there are some member's blogs that I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.

Melissa... You're absolutely right. Maybe those that don;t see are inadvertently helping the rest of us.

Kate... You just made my day!!! Big MWA to you and it's great to see your face!

Sally... Big Hug back at ya!!

Aaron... Go spread the word my friend!

Joe... And yet I am such a Hedonist at heart!!

Brenden... You're welcome!

Jerry... "When all is said and done this is still a PROFESSIONAL forum." Precisely!

David... I love that!! And if you're wearing a gun, then no, I was talking to that guy behind you :)

Gary... I have always been curious about how long....

Good points. I recently read an Inman article about this idea of branding yourself specifically. The idea was that in the end you will find people gravitating to your style and hopefully you will develop your own niche of clients.

Tom... It makes the Macy's Day parade look rather tame.

Christianne... Intolerance is very hard for me to swallow as well.

Linda... I'm not sure I would go quite that far, as I do want to be a real person here. I'm just reminding everyone that the world is watching.

Danial... It appears some people thought mine did too!

Thanks Kate!! i'm a bit surprised though.

Barbara... Yumm! Divinity! Did you save me some?? I could live on sweets!

Russ... I'm all for letting our personality show. Better to know if someone is a raging fool before I hire them :)

Marney... You're very welcome :)

Well, I am guilty of engaging in some offensive banter from time to time. However, as I stated in previous blogs by comment and written, there needs to be an end to it or Active Rain will lose the great talent that keeps the rest of us coming back for more. I have learned more about real estate, technology, and people here than sitting at the front desk of the office. Nice post. Thanks.

Hugh... Yes he did - thanks :) I would love to hear more about the possibility that we may become neighbors in the near future. Keep us posted as that develops!

As to your comment... I heartily agree with you. I am not trying to change the world with this post - or even this forum. I am simply holding up a mirror to those who are unable to take a breather from the incessent warfare they bring to this forum without any thought of how it might impact their business. I believe in being ourselves here - flaws included. But is this truly the proper place for some of the more extreme fighting and smearing that goes on? You know best that we might act out against another only to discover that we aren't enemies at all. Quite the opposite in some cases. Remember when? It was a lesson for both of us.

As to turning your stomach... well, it turns mine as well. But I prefer to recognize that not everyone reads the same things into our words and I must accept the likelihood that I am being misunderstood by some.

I am not advocating censorship, repression of ideas, personality or anything of that nature. Good heavens! Look at some of the crazy stuff Jason and I have done here both in posts and certainly in comments. He was even kicked off here briefly a few years ago for his antics. But I am advocating civility. And reminding us to remember the purpose of this forum - Real Estate.

In the end, you are absolutely correct... those who should see themselves in this mirror most likely will not. I'm cool with that.

WOW... Right to the point and a great point it is!!! Home Run!

Vickie... I believe those posts are going to to get the boot from here on out. It's as much about tone as content.

Casual Observer... I agree that some of the crazier posts do provide an abundance of entertainment. Much like visiting the primate house of the zoo in some cases. Again, the Member's Only posts are private in some respects, but other professionals are looking to make referrals, so keep that in mind. As to AR's policy... I find them to be far more tolerant than not. Still... they developed this site, they own it and they call the shots. Membership here is not a right, it's a privilege. Abuse it at your peril.

Btw... why so shy? No name? Why is that??

Michael... "Unflattering manner" pretty much sums it up!

Gene... It is all about impressions. It's that simple really.

Richard... Awwww.... thank you!!

Nick... I heartily agree! When it's relevant to our community, politics should absolutely be highlighted here. I don't mind the non-essential stuff either. But it's detrimental to our industry when the most watched Real Estate forum in the nation turns to hurling insults at one another along with degrading certain segments of our population. I've always been an 'if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem' kind of girl. Your words definitely resonate with me. Mwa!

Baby, Baby, Baby... You are more than worthy my love!

Your comment echoes my point exactly: "When free reign is afforded, which is often the case around here, members and non-members tend to abuse such a privilege." Do we really want the whole world to judge us on our worst behavior? Because I think they do.

Let's be honest with everyone here... you and I (especially you!) have been pretty crazy on this site. But we also make a much larger contribution to the purpose of this site - Real Estate. There are some that don't make a single worthwhile contribution other than to use it as a bully pulpit. And when they do they tarnish all of us.

I love you, I love your support and I am so thankful neither of us are nearly as straight-laced as I seem to have come off with this post. At least YOU understand me :))

MWA & FWA!!!

Jennifer, great post.

I met a potential client but my instincts told me that "walk away" was a better option. Later in the day, a quick search affirmed that I was right. All sorts of bravado and pseudo-machoism about a woman's place in the world. (That place is not a happy place.) When I attempted to refer him to a male collegue that I knew was capable of handling his RE needs, this person declared that he "was a genious" and would find his own agent. He didn't want a Realtor, he wanted a doormat. Yep, did the right thing.

It never ceases to amaze me what people will post on the internet.

here, here Jennifer!

And for those who say agents don't have business if they can blog. Ha!

Agents who blog as a business, schedule it into their calendar to blog to help clients and other agents. It's called effective time management.

Well, Jennifer, looks like you got a good response to your wonderful blog. MY own opinion is that our blogs need to stick to the point that we are trying to make about our industry. However, sometimes our politics and religion will naturally enter into this. this is ok when it is natural and gentle. What I do not want to see are the rants about "big government," "Communists," "Socialists," "Muslims," "Hitler," etc. Lets at least stop the rhetoric and the name calling I have been seeing lately.

Hi Jennifer,

I have been reading posts on AR for short while, and this is what I have observed.

1- The SEO posts are often very informative, and I appreciate the efforts of those who share this information. I have subscribed to the feeds of several members' blogs who have a good mix of SEO.

2- The "How To" posts are often good, as well. There is often an idea or way of explaining something to clients that I had never thought of before. "How to Sell", "How to Buy", etc. I have subscribed to the feeds of some members who have a good mix of "How To" in their blogs.

3- The "Money/Mortgage" posts may have some good information in them, but if the post itself doesn't fall apart into a useless political mess, then the comments section certainly does. It is a lot to wade through. And I already get enough of that on my boots at the barn every morning. I have not subscribed to any of the "Money/Mortgage" feeds, and do not read them nearly as often as the other categories.

If I were looking for someone out in the AR world to refer a client to, the first place I would go would be to my RSS Reader.

Adding it up, Jennifer, it means... Great post!! :-)

Good post Jennifer, I think that most comments I have seen only a few write insults on the public blog...and most only comment on Member's only. I put up my political blogs to pass on information to a certain group to keep them updated. It is a shame when I see other groups jump on and start insulting others beliefs or judging them..

Actually, It use to shock the heck out of me but It was a lesson on humility and toughened my skin to not have people agree with me..actually It made me stronger in my beliefs to be attacked on these member only blogs but what I always wonder is if these people would be so mean in person, I bet we would all be friends if we worked together first and knew our beliefs second..I have many friends with opposite politics that we still love and respect each other and are friends inspite of our differences..

We are all God's children and that is all that matters. We don't need to judge anyone since that is left to our Maker..

This is a big time consuming waste of time commenting other than on real estate and I am guilty when attacked of defending myself, now I no longer care to answer the nasty comments...I am just here to pass on information of my causes and I have made some great friends that I refer many clients all over the US because we have the same beliefs and morals..

Where does our business end and the politics begin? There are a number of political issues that relate directly to the real estate market.

I am more interested in getting clients than my politics here, but we also tend to write about things going on in our lives. Some of this draws clients. I post about my boys Royal Ranger activities. Someone searching about Royal Rangers may come across my site and I may get a prospect. However, it also labels me as a Christian, Evangelical, and mildly Charismatic; even though I do not proselytes on the post. Some would say this is too religious.

I find what offends us is too much and what we agree with is free speech and harmless comments.

I just read the Post on Blog Action Day. It is posted like a perfectly neutral and harmless post. Follow the source and it has a strong left wing bent. Of course it is not left wing if you agree with them; it is just a non-partisan post about us all working to gather to solve problems.

Nogui... I'm with you!

Carin... I love Inna's rants as well and she knows it. I don't think she's an example of those who have lost site of the forum's vision however. But she knows what I'm talking about :)

William... No way am I about censorhsip of any kind. Let it all show and if you're an idiot who tramples on the rights and feelings of others then the world will see you shining in all your hateful glory.

Charles... Yes it does. Unfortunately.

Joshua... Thank you :)

Christine... Even if what you have to say isn't nice - an I have said some not so nice things here myself - at least learn to say it nicely :)

Deb... It could never be you. Your contribution here is outstanding and can be held up as a prime example of the purpose behind ActiveRain. I'll reply to your email as soon as I catch up here. Whew! I certainly didn't expect this....

Mike... But in my personal experience, they do know. Most will find us via Google.

Hello Jennifer

wonderful post! this is my first experience with AR (or any other blog, for that matter), and it appears that I jumped right in the middle of it. I whole heartedly agree with your statements, but also appreciate the responses that point out how these posts illuminate peoples deep seated biases, and allow birds of a feather to flock together. I can't remember who said," I may not agree with what you say, but I will fight for your right to say it"(obviously paraphrased). I think (there's that word again) it is important to realize that in the river of life, the beneficial sediment will find its own level, and the rest of the garbage will be washed out to sea. And you can quote me on that

Brian Wade

RMS Home Loan, Fresno CA

Missy... "there is nothing wrong or distasteful about posting on those topics from time to time." Agreed!!

Tim... Oh, but we agree on that. Somehow I'm missing my mark here if anyone thinks I don't like the diversity of posts and opinions expressed here. I just expect those who contribute to recognize the impact of all they write here and keep the dialogue within the confines of civility and accept the professional consequences.

Hey Todd!!! I miss you too :) And no... they won't listen because they are way too busy arguing :)

Clint... Gosh I sure appreciate that :) Thinking isn't so bad, is it?!

Michael... Hmmm... interesting comment. I don't mind disrupting harmony for a good reason. But I choose to do so with a modocum of respect.

Michelle... Your experience sums up my point in a nutshell. Though many find it convenient to believe otherwise. It's a shame.

Lovely Wife... Their unsuspecting customers will find them out. Anyone that extreme cannot keep it a secret for long. It's a shame we are considered on par with shady used car dealers. Given some of the behavior around here, it's no wonder. MWA!

Wow, Jennifer, way to get some folks thinking about what it is they're doing online! Great post.

Great post

@David- Love the picture.

<CLAP-CLAP-CLAP> I LOVE IT! I THINK I LOVE YOU!

I guess my question is, who in their right mind would turn down a buyer because of their, let's say, personal preference? Last I heard there are Agents and LO's alike in watch towers and in crowds trying to find anyone who is willing to purchase a home let alone be picky about who the individual is and/or what he/she 'prefers.' I admit that I like sticking to my preferences, but man, people are people and they ALL deserve a professional to guide them through home purchasing...But maybe I'm just living in a dream world of happiness where everyone agrees that it's ok to disagree. My fault! Great post Jennifer!

-Joe

Great Post!!

Now to the good stuff!! I'm a White, Angelo Saxon, Protestant, who loves America, Fox News, Glen Beck, Sean Hanniity, and I always vote Republican. I am a Viet Nam vet and I am proud to have served my country and defended your Freedom! Now wasn't that much better then just saying Great Post, I couldn't agree with you more. Please remember how nice I was to you when your looking for a referral agent for your Buyer client. Please send all your hate mail to Harry Reid & Nancy Polosi with a CC. to B. Obama. Thank you! Thank you very much.

By the way! I'm on my lunch break!!! SMILE! A LITTLE AFTERNOON HUMOR IS A GOOD THING!!!

Excellent post! I try to remember that once the words leave my mouth (or,worse yet, are written!), they can never be retracted! If a nasty, hateful thought enters my mind I let it twirl aroung for a few seconds,then "trash" it. "NEXT" is my buzz word!

I'm fairly new to AR... just learning the ropes... before I start blogging regularly. THANKS for the lesson!

I think some of the nasty comments probably come off worse than originally intended because people forget sarcasm doesn't read well. Sure there are probably some who just like to argue and say mean things but hopefully for most this is not the case. I recently took a political science class online and I hated it because that is all you do is post on controversial topics and then debate about it. People were just down right mean. Great Post!

I so enjoyed reading your post along with the comments. I do pay attention to the way people treat others, especially their peers. If I had a referral, I would not necessarily give it to the "know it all" even if they do know it all. Attitude matters most to me.

OCT

Hi Jen! I've been trying to get over to comment on this post since yesterday! I TOTALLY agree with you and I have to say, that even though we may enjoy reading them as purely entertainment--they are a reflection of US, of our forum, or their professional peers--ALL of US! I just read a post the other day that my buddy, Russell in Austin wrote about this same thing. Basically, a why can't we have healthy debate, rather than nasty rants?!

I try to stay away from those posts at all costs but, I will, on occasion, give a LOW-key personal opinion if I am ABSOLUTELY passionate about something! But, it's so low-key, it rarely even receives a return comment from the original author!! LOL (Thankfully--I don't think I've ever had anyone here upset with me and I don't ever want to encounter that publically so, I do avoid the controversial posts the majority of the time)!

EXCELLENT and well-written post and SO deserving of the attention that it's received! Congrats on the feature too!

My Jen - I remember when this place used to be fun. sigh. Wonderful post and congratulations on the star.

Jennifer, I like writing that causes readers to think. Nice job.

TO ALL OF THE WONDERFUL COMMENTERS:

I really appreciate the wide array of supportive comments this thread has engendered. I cannot seem to keep up with you all so I wanted to thank everyone for taking the time to think about the ways in which we present ourselves as a profesional community and your insightful comments.

I want to be the first to admit that I do occassionally comment on off-topic posts and have posted many myself. Jason and I have done some pretty crazy things here on AR and we love that most of it has been well tolerated. In no way am I a priss nor do I advocate limiting our exposure here to straight up real estate posts. On the contrary... I feel our clients will bond with us because they can relate to us as people first - quirks and all. I just wanted to remind everyone that the world is watching and bashing is just bad business for all of us.

And To YOU at comment #99...

Are you freaking kidding me??? Did you even read my post? I can't imagine anything here on AR that has the capacity to really make me angry. I'm a pretty laid back girl, as anyone who has followed me here for the past couple of years can tell you. In fact, as thoughtless as your comment seems to be, I'm not even mad at you :) So chill, will you??!

Jennifer, in your last comment you said "Jason and I have done some pretty crazy things here on AR and we love that most of it has been well tolerated."

A wise person once said, "We only show our ass to the ones we love". That is generally interpreted to suggest that people will behave badly in front of people whom they are most comfortable with. But if we were to take it literally, it would mean that Jason loves us all! Get it? For those who don't get it, I am referring to a video posted a while back - one that still has me chuckling.

Patrick... Yes!! How funny that you remember that. Sneak around his comment section on one his posts since then and you'll find that I posted a pic of my ass as well. You can view the entire set if you know where to look! LMAO :))

You may be assured that Jason DOES love you all!!!

OCT

Jennifer,

As a relative newbie to AR your post is timely for me. Recently I have read some quite disturbing ranting political posts that surprised the hell out of me, since I thought AR was a channel to advance forging new friendships and professional collaborations. It is fine to go "off topic" but when bloggers get downright nasty,(ugh) who would want to refer a client or business to them? Thanks for bringing attention to this.

Jennifer: Sorry it came across as 'harsh' to me. Same way the people you were discussing came across to you. IMO

Mercedes... As a newbie, your instincts are more likely to be similar to someone looking 'in' from the outside. But even after all this time, I still see it in the same unflattering light.Thanks for your comment, and welcome to the rain!

Lyn... The truth often appears that way. If it scrapes something inside of us, then we more than likely see something uncomfortable that mirrors an element within ourselves. IMO. I didn't intend to sound harsh, but I know the outsiders looking in at us certainly see it that way.

OCT

My customers. at least most think like I think. I say the same things in my newsletters, news articles when asked. I do 77% referrals and I can pick the rest. I have a lot of opposing friends but they know I hate there policies and if the bring it up IT"S ON. At my age I choose to totally be me and people either like it or we don't hang together.

Joyce... I'm pretty choosy about whom I work with as well so I appreciate your perspective. More than just being like-minded however, I was trying to speak to the idea that our clients would also like to see us as hard working individuals who spend our time working on finding them a property or selling the property they've listed with us. Not just spending countless hours arguing and berating one another online. You are very fortunate that you have such a strong referral business and I hope that continues to be the core of your success.

OCT

Stong opinions on this post Jennifer. Thankfully, I have behaved as a professional on all of my online sites.

Mark... Well if you think the opinions on THIS post are strong, just wander around the halls of the political groups here in the Rain and you'll really get an eyeful. Remaining professional will certainly pay dividends and I applaud you for your discipline. Thanks for the comment :)

Jennifer.... darn, you finally know me... ;o) Seriously, I am sooo late to this party. Excellent job and I know what prompted this post. I couldn't agree any more than how you wrote this. Unfortunately, I got semi caught up in that blog, because it just pushed my buttons on how someone thinks. Yet if you read their posts, over 80% of them were on the political nature. And so many hateful types... so many negative comments. Overall, your main point about those that just blog and comment, yet you wonder if they work. I have always had those same thoughts... ;o) Nice job here and hope all is well...

jeff belonger

Ummm Jeff.... I was actually talking about YOU!!! LOL!

OCT

cool... at least I was mentioned, good or bad. ;o)

jeff belonger

Boy...I go away for a while and come back to such excitement...I guess I don't have to ask how you guys are doing...lol

Neal... We're doing great and hope the same is true of you as well!

OCT

Jen -- have been gone awhile myself from AR -- you were on my mind the other day and almost texted you about something, but got distracted! All that to say, is nice to see a wonderful post by you when I got back on today. As always, great writing and thought provoking. Haven't read much of the types of posts you are talking about - though the one thing that sticks in my mind is your comment -- I do want to know who you are, before it's too late. Me too. One of the reasons I like AR is that it gives me a chance to know people around the continent - be friends, send referrals, etc. So I want to know who you are and how you treat people. Disagree is fine, different views, opinions all okay. None of us are all alike, and the variety is a gift. For me the important part is the respect and care for the human under the difference, the disagreement. You know what I mean.

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