I sat down at my desk today and was instantly struck by an epiphany.  I couldn't find a dang thing and it was time to do something about it.  Basically, my desk looked as though a tornado had gone a few rounds with it, stepped back, had a cigarette, then gone in for seconds.  It was not a pretty sight.  I had phone numbers strewn across post it notes.  I had new lifeforms crawling out of what may have been leftovers from a meal long since past.  I had no clue where my stapler was...I was lost.  It was at that point that a realization dawned on me.  I could get a lot more work done if I knew where everything was. 

   With that goal in mind, I donned my haz-mat suit, entered 911 into my speed dial, and forged into the unknown (after having tied a string from the door knob to my waist as a safety precaution). 

   I stumbled through the field of destruction until I slammed my foot into something that I could only assume was the leg of my desk.  My suspicions were confirmed when I touched to object and found it to be quivering under some enormous weight.  As I surveyed my surroundings, I quickly realized that my current tools would not be adequate to handle the job.  So I brought in the heavy artillery...A bulldozer.  Unfortunately that too was not enough to conquer the disaster that was my office. 

I was getting desperate.  I was getting frustrated.  I was starting to freak out.......I asked my wife for help.  She attacked that mess with the precision of a skilled surgeon and started barking out orders like General Patton.  I snapped to attention then began to follow her commands for fear of endangering my life by refusing.  Shortly after Gen. Joy began her campaign against clutter something amazing happened.  We began to get good news from the front lines.  The enemy was caving at the center.  We pressed on keeping the enemy on the defensive for fear of a counter attack.  We had the Air Force on call ready to scramble the F-18s should we need them. 

   Fortunately the battle continued in our favor we emerged from the rubble victorious.  All of our enemies were safely incarcerated in file boxes or hard drives.  Where once no wood could be seen, the glow of mahogany shone from my newly polished desk.  It was a sight to behold.

   From that moment on, I vowed to forever keep my workspace clutter free.  I was amazed at how much easier my work-life could be when everything was at hand.  My only regret is that I know there are several people losing this war, and I may never reach them all with my winning strategy...ENLIST YOUR WIVES!!  They are a lot tougher than we are.

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