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It Doesn't Matter To Me ~ I am Bi-Sacksual

By
Real Estate Agent with Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899

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The other day a friend sent us a wonderful story of a challenged senior.  What is funny is that I don't think this story just applies to senior citizens! 

 I think there are many of us out there who can relate!  I am still ROFL after reading this one... I hope you like it:


I thought about the 30 year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a Blackberry that played music, took videos, pictures and communicated with Facebook and Twitter.

 I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way.  I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space. 

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.  My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation.  I am not ready to live like this.  I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag. 

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library.  I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth (it's red) phone I am supposed to use when I drive.  I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife as everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me.  Seems I have to take my hearing aid out to use it and I got a little loud.  

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time.  Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calc-ul-ating".  You would think that she could be nicer.  It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light.  Then when I would make a right turn instead, it was not good.  

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GSP lady, at least she loves me.  To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house.  We have had them for 4 years, but, I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.  

The world is just getting too complex for me.  They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store.  You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop.  I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused but I never remember to take them with me.  Now I toss it back to them.  When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me.  I am bi-sacksual..."  Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

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I specialize in Listing and Selling homes in the NW Austin Area. I use my experience to guide clients through the process, whether selling or buying. It’s a beautiful thing when your career and a passion come together. I love what I do!

 

Greg Saffell
Tucson, AZ
Real Estate Professional Tucson, Oro Valley AZ

Dorie, a great story we can all relate to. Those grocery checkers say paper or plastic without even thinking about it. I'll pop them with the Bi-sacksual bit on my next trip. That should wake them up, and cheer them up to boot.

Oct 29, 2009 10:20 AM
Claude Cross
Homes By Cross, Inc. - Charlotte, NC
Charlotte NC Homes For Sale

Dorie - Giggling all the way through this post. This is way funny. Thanks

Oct 29, 2009 10:26 AM
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, Broker/Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Dorie, I don't know why the baggers bother to ask "plastic or paper", they don't listen to you anyway, but that's a whole other blog or series of blog's (that gives me an idea).   Anyway, I agree with you that things have gotten way complicated and much less personal. 

 

Oct 29, 2009 10:48 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Jane,

It is amazing how much we don't need to hear about! Thanks for stopping by!

Oct 29, 2009 11:52 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Greg,

I'd love to hear what they would say!!

Oct 29, 2009 11:52 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Claude,

I'm glad you got a chuckle out of this..it is funny!

Oct 29, 2009 11:53 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Nick,

I think you have hit the nail on the head..things have gotten much less personal.

Oct 29, 2009 11:54 AM
Mary Douglas
United Country Ponderosa Realty, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado - Red Feather Lakes, CO
REALTOR, Red Feather Lakes, Colorado

LOL Dorie, this post was priceless.  Thanks for posting it, and the next time I go to the store, and forget my bags, I hope I remember the punch line!!

Oct 29, 2009 11:58 AM
Richard Weisser
Richard Weisser Realty - Newnan, GA
Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional

Dorie...

Everyone in the marketing business KNOWS that sacks sells! lol

Oct 29, 2009 12:13 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Mary,

I know you will remember and you must tell us what they say!

Oct 29, 2009 12:20 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Richard,

LOL! Thanks for stopping by to comment.

Oct 29, 2009 12:23 PM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Dorie, this is really, really funny!  I can totally relate!

Oct 29, 2009 12:50 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Patricia,

I think all of us can relate! Thanks for stopping by.

Oct 29, 2009 01:14 PM
Sheldon Neal
Bergen County, NJ - RE/MAX Real Estate Limited - Maywood, NJ
That British Agent Bergen County NJ

Smiley hahaha 024.gif

Oct 30, 2009 04:01 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Sheldon,

Really cute Halloween face!!

Oct 30, 2009 04:28 AM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi,

It's good to hear you had some giggles and glad you reblogged!

Oct 31, 2009 01:21 AM
Mirela Monte
Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC
Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Dorie:  This is too cute.

Now featured on the Optimist Group.

Oct 31, 2009 06:52 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

i Mirela,

It is funny! Thank you for letting me know. Hope you had a great Halloween!

Nov 01, 2009 12:12 AM
Toula Rosebrock
Diane Turton, Realtors, Forked River, NJ - Lacey Township, NJ
Broker/Sales Associate, Realtor, Lacey Township,

ToulaRosebrock,com

Hi Dorie:

This was great!

I was wondering where this was going when I first read your title!!!

Nov 01, 2009 10:52 PM
Dorie Dillard Austin TX
Coldwell Banker Realty ~ 512.750.6899 - Austin, TX
NW Austin ~ Canyon Creek and Spicewood/Balcones

Hi Toula,

Never judge a book by it's cover! Thanks for stopping by!

Nov 01, 2009 11:31 PM