Are You a Facebook Friend Who Gets "Hidden?"

By
Home Stager with Rose-Colored Staging

Your Facebook friends may have hidden you and you didn't know it!  Yes, you could be talking to, well, no one.  OK- maybe it's not that bad, but there may be some friends you are missing.

I have been on Facebook for about a year now and have amassed a modest 127 friends.  I don't often go seeking friends but I do love adding friends when they find me!  Facebook has been a great way for me to get to know friends better, colleagues, and sometimes even strangers if we have a common bond such as our business.

I love sharing what I'm doing and hearing about what my friends are up to during the day.  But, as with anything, there are times when it's not so much a thrill.  There are times I have "un-friended" people and have "hidden" others. 

 Why?

 What were their crimes to deserve this?  As I share a few reasons, consider if you've been guilty!

Unfriended:  Generally the only reason I would actually "un-friend" someone is for obscenity.  It's my Facebook, I have other friends and colleagues who see it, and I just plain don't want it.  

Hidden:  I "hide" people more often when I don't want to lose their friendship but I just can't take their posts any longer!  This allows me to occasionally go in and see what they're up to and still maintain contact with them.  Most of the time, they're not aware they're hidden and that I'm not seeing their posts. 

Some reasons I have "hidden" friends:

•  Constant sales pitch:  Whether it's business, politics, your religion, or your new diet you can't stop talking about.  Mention it now and then, fine.  Post it over and over and over again, sometimes 3 or more times in a row and you're hidden.  

•  Constant updates:  Like 4-5 in a row.  Whether it's what you're doing every minute, or what you ate-- edit yourself.  Please.  I really do not need to know everything

•  Quotes:  Remember:  You are not the only one who constantly posts quotes.  There's only so many quotes I can take!

I think the thing to remember is that this is Social Media-- with the emphasis on social.  It is not usually the content that will get someone hidden as much as it is the frequency of that content.  I want to know who you are, not your sales pitch, or a random quote.  Think of it as a party-- you wouldn't walk in and start your sales pitch.  You would seek to form relationships.

Facebook is also a "give and take."  Do you post frequently but never comment on anyone else's posts?  Don't be a selfish Facebook friend!  How good can a relationship be if it's one-sided?

Facebook is a wonderful way to connect and re-connect with friends, colleagues, and others, but as in any relationship, it needs nourishment and time invested.

So, are there Facebook habits you can change?  I know I'm not the only one who hides people for these reasons!

 Please try to avoid these habits-- you are in a vibrant industry with plenty of great things to share! 

Don't go and get yourself hidden!

  

  

Michele Roseis a Realtor and Professional Home Stager in Burlington County, NJ.  She has been assisting both buyers and sellers with their real estate needs for the last 5 years.  In 2007, she formed Rose-Colored Staging to help sellers market their homes with professional home staging.

  

close

Re-Blogged 3 times:

Re-Blogged By Re-Blogged At
  1. Blatt + Cutino 10/30/2009 07:28 AM
  2. Melissa Marro 10/30/2009 11:55 AM
  3. Sybil Campbell 11/01/2009 03:00 PM
Groups:
Cosmic Cow Pie...The Rome Way
Tags:
facebook
social media
nj realtor
nj real estate agent
home staging nj
burlington real estate agent
burlington realtor
home stager nj

Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Spam prevention
Show All Comments
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Thanks Greg!  It's actually my 2nd feature but they haven't changed my little star yet!  I was so thrilled!  It seems to have helped a lot of people.  I always enjoy hearing from you on FB too and you have definitely not been hidden LOL!

Nov 13, 2009 06:45 AM #107
Rainmaker
125,044
R. Greg Osmond
Sutton Group-Capital Realty Ltd. - St Johns, NL
MBA, Red Maple Realty

Michele,  FYI.  The star badge doesn't seem to be getting update automatically.  I am not sure of the system but you may have to contact AR and tell them.  I had to do it for my 2nd feature and it looks like I have to do it again now for the last one.  PS, Thanks for not hiding me.  Nor have you been hidden.  ;)

Nov 15, 2009 05:47 PM #108
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Thanks Greg!!  I will let them know if it doesn't change soon-- I love that little star!  LOL! 

Nov 16, 2009 08:00 AM #109
Rainmaker
1,071,612
Sharon Alters
Coldwell Banker Vanguard Realty - 904-673-2308 - Fleming Island, FL
Realtor - Homes for Sale Fleming Island FL

Michele, I had heard that you could hide games but I don't have any people I want to hide - yet. Now I've got to figure out how to do that. I really don't have time for games - AR takes up that slice of my time :)

Dec 01, 2009 12:33 PM #110
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Sharon, I agree, the games are a waste of time.  FB time is much better spent responding and commenting; forming relationships.  I do "unhide" people now and then to see if they've changed-- if not, they go back into hiding!  I want to focus on the connections I can make :-)

Dec 01, 2009 01:30 PM #111
Anonymous
Michael Joseph.

Under the FB terms and whatnot. Or you can look up FB history.  FB started out for buisnes and networking. Not for frineds to go online and see how many friends they can get and play games and post scores. However, its free, and public. and therefore,.. monkeys get on and post post post, because they can.  FB now has evolved into something else,.. and is now just a kind of phenomanon.

I mean....   cell phones are now based around FaceBook - how strange!!

...whats next I wonder?

Jul 18, 2010 06:13 PM #113
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Michael, it's a whole new world, isn't it?  The world of social media!  I'm still trying to catch up!  :)

Jul 20, 2010 03:16 PM #114
Anonymous
Dona Hepfinger

Michelle,

Just a note to let you know I was thrilled to find your blog.  I have been struggling with this situation as well.  It has taken me since 1993 to create my business name and I do not believe we should play in your face marketing with our customers.  It is just not good for business. 

I hope you do not mind, I posted your link on my blog to share with my readers.  http://www.homecraftframingandgifts .  The last time I looked there were 12 comments.  If you would rather not have your link posted on my blog, just let me know and I will remove it.  Your post is well written and has a valid point.

Thank You, Dona Hepfinger  Homecraft Framing

Oct 19, 2010 12:12 PM #116
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Hi Dona!

I'm so glad you liked the article and I don't mind at all that you've posted the link to it!  By the way, I found your business on FB and became a fan.  I realized I actually own a couple of the prints you offer :) 

Thanks for the comment and for the "re-post!" 

Michele

 

Oct 21, 2010 06:40 AM #117
Anonymous
Kerrie Jay

Why be 'friends' with them if you are hiding what they have to say? They obviously are reaching out wanting to talk to someone or something. It's more hurtful and a punch in the face to think that you may be hidden than to be defriended. Just my opinion and food for thought. 

May 26, 2011 04:03 PM #118
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Hi Kerrie!  If you see in the post I'm not so quick to unfriend someone.  Hiding them temporarily allows me to go in and unhide them whenever I want and then try to reconnect with them at a later time.  Sales pitches, posting quotes, constant music videos-- they're not "reaching out wanting to talk."  I'd never hide anyone who was genuinely sharing something about their lives.

May 27, 2011 09:19 AM #119
Anonymous
the hidden

so what if you've done one of those (say posted a lot about something important to you) and hardly anyone interacts with you on facebook anymore... how do you get unhidden?

Jun 29, 2011 06:30 AM #120
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Hi "Hidden!"  I always periodically go in and unhide my hidden people for a bit to see if they're still posting the same things because I really to prefer to maintain a good relationship.  Not everyone does that though so it can be tough once you're the hidden one.

Remember that FB is about relationships.  You could try sending a private message to all of your friends, something like, "Hello my FB friends!  I've recently become aware that I have tended to post too much of (fill in the blank) and I apologize!  If I've annoyed you and you've hidden my posts, please give me another chance!  I value our FB friendship!"

Also, remember that FB is a give and take.  Comment on your friends' posts and take interest in what's happening in their lives.  Most will then do the same with you.  Good luck!

Jun 29, 2011 07:34 AM #121
Anonymous
hidden

thanks for the response! I do comment on my friends' posts whenever I can (I'm sick so I can't always, which also is one of the things I post a lot about because my disease is poorly understood and politically incorrect--patients are basically in humanitarian crisis and the situation needs outside help, but you're right that my facebook friends don't need to hear it repetitively)... I wasn't sure how people would take a message like what you suggested, but if you thought of doing that, too, it must be fine. :)

Jun 29, 2011 07:24 PM #122
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Hi Hidden,

My sister has been diagnosed with sarcoidosis, fibromyalgia, and chronic fatigue but most people don't even realize she's sick.  When there's an awareness month she posts it on her page but other than that she doesn't get into it a whole lot because she doesn't want to be defined by it.  

FB also offers the option to create pages for business, or causes, etc.  If there is not already one, you might consider creating one to generate awareness.  Then when outside help is needed you could post it there primarily and occasionally share it on your personal page as well. 

Hope this works for you :)

 

Michele

Jun 30, 2011 05:49 AM #123
Anonymous
hidden

thanks so much for all your help. those sound like a good ideas.

I hope your sister is doing reasonably well under the circumstances and is able to get appropriate medical care (I know that's sometimes tricky).

best regards

Jun 30, 2011 08:12 PM #124
Anonymous
learned the hard way

I recently unfriended a massive amount of people who clearly had my posts "hidden" from their feed.  I had posted that my mother had passed away suddenly and I was very sad",  and only a tiny handful of those who were still very obviously active on facebook responded.

I was very hurt to have been hidden.  I don't post a lot of status updates, photos, and NONE of those stupid meme "copy this on your status for an hour" status messages.  To only have a tiny fraction of your facebook friends express condolences when you are in shock and in the throes of grief, while the rest of them carry on with their silly viral jokes and stuff really hits you like a ton of bricks.

Why bother adding a person if you never really want to hear from them?  What is the point?  Especially if this is a person who has major issues with people "pretending" to be their friends!!!

So I seriously mass-unfriended about 78 people.  These were people who were still actively ON facebook due to lots of their own activity being posted on my feed, but the "feed reading" was not mutual.  So I decided to do them and me a favor and cut them off.  It's very telling when someone doesn't notice the major stuff.

 

 

Sep 11, 2011 04:42 AM #125
Anonymous
DeeRuth

I don't understand what is wrong with quotes and political comments?  that is a standard part of social discourse

Apr 27, 2012 02:23 AM #126
Rainmaker
140,919
Michele Rose
Rose-Colored Staging - Mount Holly Township, NJ
Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign

Hi DeeRuth-- I occasionally post quotes but tend to stay away from politics-- that's a personal choice.  My point is this-- social media is a give and take; it's a CONNECTION.  I've seen people just post quotes or political statements without sharing anything else.  How popular would you be if you walked into a party and the only things you said to people were quotes or political statements?  If what you're posting is creating a friendly give and take, getting comments, and engaging people, then it's fine.  But I'm talking about hiding the people who are just "spouting off." :) 

May 02, 2012 02:08 AM #127
Anonymous
orlando
hi! i just want to ask ..this person is not in my friend's list..but we communicate evry now and then.suddenly his name in my inbox is in black letters not blue..but still his profile picture is still there..i read that if a person blocked you,the name on fb inbox will turn black and you will not see his profile picture anymore..but i still have his name on my inbox with his profile picture..the only thing is his name is in black ..did he block me?
Dec 15, 2013 04:05 PM #128
Post a Comment
Spam prevention
Show All Comments

What's the reason you're reporting this blog entry?

Are you sure you want to report this blog entry as spam?

Rainmaker
140,919

Michele Rose

Burlington County Home Staging & Redesign
Ask me a question
*
*
*
*
Spam prevention

Additional Information