Steve, I agree, we have to keep our buyer on track or they will go all over the map, then I have to have a 'come to Jesus'  them.  Pie in the sky is what most people want, wouldn't you, especiallly if you are told daily all the great deals out there. 

Okay buddy,I found some good jokes but I can't post the for obvious reasons, so here is what I found,not as funny as yours but it will have to do until I find something better!!  :)

Your pocket knife often doubles as a toothpick. 

You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best picture.

The rear tires on your car are at least twice as wide as the front ones.

You think that Dom Perignon is a mafia leader.

You think a Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.

You've been too drunk to fish.

Jack Daniel's makes your list of "most admired people".

You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Your wife has a beer belly and you find it attractive. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

You consider your license plate personalized because your dad made it in prison.

You have been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.

You need an estimate from your barber before you get a haircut.

You have flowers planted in a bathroom appliance in your front yard.

Your mother comes outta the bathroom and says, "Y'all come look at this before flush it!"

You go Christmas shopping for your mom, sister, and girlfriend, and you only need to buy one gift.

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.