A woman named Judy  brings a very limp duck, Cuddles, into her veterinarians office.

Judy lays the duck on the table and Nicki the Vet pulls out her stethoscope and listens to the birds chest for a minute.

Nicki the Vet shakes her head and says "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away."

Judy was very distressed and wailed "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. That duck is dead," replied Nicki the Vet

"How can you be so sure?" Judy protested. "He might just be in a coma or something. You haven't even done any tests for that."

Nicki the Vet rolled her eyes but turned and left the room.

Two minutes later she's back with a huge Black Labrador Retriever.

Judy watches in amazement as the dog stands on his hind legs, puts his front paws on the examining table and sniffs the duck from top to bottom. He looks at Nicki the Vet with sad eyes and solemnly shakes his head. Nicki the Vet pats the dog on the head and took him back out of the room.

When she returns she has a cat with her. The cat jumps down on the table and delicately sniffs the duck from bill to tail, stopping to lick one wing very gently. The cat sits back on its haunches, meows softly, shakes its head and strolls out of the room.

Nicki the Vet looks at Judy and says "I'm truly sorry but this duck is 100% certifiably a dead duck. A late duck. It is no more. It has departed."

Nicki the Vet turns to her computer, taps a few keys and produces the bill for Judy.

Still in shock over the loss of her duck, Cuddles, Judy  takes a look at the bill.

"$220.00" she cries. "$220,000 just to tell me my duck is dead?"

Nicki the Vet shrugged and said...

zip


Wait for it.
zip
"My bill to tell you your duck was dead was only $20. The Lab report and Cat scan added $200."
(and that's without the public option)
 
Post is included in group: AR Comedy Club
Post is included in group: Jokes and Anything Fun Group
Post is included in group: The Lounge at Active Rain
Post is included in group: The Optimist

9 Comments on Mid-week chuckle - a trip to the vet.

NOV
03
2009
1,403,416 Points 54 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Those additional procedures can add up really quickley.  thanks for the laugh

7:14pm • #1
619,290 Points 96 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

That was cute :o)!  Thank you for the late night chuckle!

7:16pm • #2
800,901 Points 43 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Gene,,The next time I see a dead duck I remember this joke... Then I'll go for the Raspberry Glaze.

7:32pm • #3
223,809 Points 35 Featured Posts

Raspberry? Hmmm, that might be a pleasant change from l'orange. I'm heading over to the vet.

7:42pm • #4
NOV
04
2009
214,520 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog

Excellent Gene!  Reminds me of the Monty Python skit about the dead parrot.

1:58am • #6
253,971 Points 2 Featured Posts

LOL. Very good Gene. Love that one.

Steve

7:58am • #7
241,202 Points

Ok, you got me at "limp duck"!   LOL

5:48pm • #8
241,202 Points

That reminds me of the duck who went to the drug store to buy some chapstick and when asked how he wanted to pay for it, the duck said to just put it on his bill. !!

5:50pm • #9

Login or register to leave a comment