On Men and Women:

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT
When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50.  None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom:  toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 77.  A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a  book, and get the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children.  A woman knows all about her children.  She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE  DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.  There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

I wanted to share this tidbit with my fellow Rainers, I hope I made you laugh on this Friday!!

Author: Unknown

 
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11 Comments on Friday Funny

NOV
06
213,280 Points 1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi April,  Iwas wondering where the Friday Funnies were !  Thanks, it did make me laugh several times.  Hitting pretty close to home here !

1:05pm • #1

Very funny, thanks for sharing. So true, I especially think the bathroom and money are right on the mark!

1:13pm • #2
162,267 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Hi Bill,

I've been slacking haven't I?  I will try to keep things going here....

April

1:27pm • #3
162,267 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Dianne,

Yeah, the guys wonder why we need so much stuff!  I wish I only had to worry about a shaving kit and toothbrush, ha ha.

Thanks for stopping by,

April

1:28pm • #4
223,520 Points

Crazy how many of these things are fairly true or at least true for most...  Thanks for sharing

4:06pm • #5
162,267 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Caron - Yep, how does the Venus and Mars thing go....

4:13pm • #6
487,695 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog Hit Router

April

I like that argument one. Somehow there is a lot of truth to that, or so I have been told.

5:05pm • #7
162,267 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

TOm - Tooo true - and how does it go... women continue the next argument with something that the men think was already settled and forgotten!  I try to not do that to my hubby!

April

5:10pm • #8
412,342 Points 3 Featured Posts Outside Blog

April...I can relate to all but 2.  lol Thanks for the chuckle.

8:10pm • #9
NOV
08
Outside Blog

Those are hilarious April.  LOL.

Thank you for that! 

Steve

9:25pm • #10
NOV
10
336,009 Points 19 Featured Posts Outside Blog

There's a frightening amount of truth in those jokes, but since can use a good laugh this morning, we won't worry about that.

7:40am • #11

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April Hayden-Munson Realtor, Southeastern Wisconsin

Brookfield, WI

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