Today is Thanksgiving day, and as I have been doing for the last 35 years or so, I will go to visit my Mother. This year, we won't be having Thanksgiving dinner at Mom's house, we'll be going to a relatives home and enjoying the feast with the extended family. For all but a handful of my 54 years, Mom put the Thanksgiving feast on the table. The clan converged on that tiny little house and 20 of us would squeeze around the table that was only designed to seat 10. Of course, the kids would sit at the card table in the living room and their mom's would keep an eye on them. I sat at that card table myself when I was a boy.

I lost my Dad in May of this year. My sister and I are trying to help my Mom decide what to do with that tiny house that they lived in since I was 6 months old. Still in the door jambs are the pencil marks that measure our height as my sister and I grew up. Inside of the closet door of the back bedroom is my sister's crayon masterpiece. The outside of that door was repainted a long time ago but no one looks at the inside of the door, right? That cabinet door under the kitchen sink still comes off the hinges when you pull it open. It's done that for over 40 years, since I was a 12 year old running through the kitchen and ripped it off it's hinges because I wasn't watching where I was going.

And there, in the dining room, is that rickety old dining room table, where so many thanksgiving dinners had been served in years past

Is selling a house personal? You betcha it is.

I urge my colleagues to remember their own family histories when they visit their clients. Yes, one must be rational, one must offer the home at a price that will allow the seller to reach what could be a very difficult conclusion. Just do it with tact, love, and sensitivity. It may be a business to you but that house is somebody's living, breathing home. All those little defects don't add any value to my Mom's house but they make that it priceless in her (and my) eyes.

Please, remember where you came from.

Peace.

 
Star Posted by Joe Sheehan, ABR, SRES on 11/26/2009 07:57 AM   Comments (43)  
Generate short URL
This post has been included in Pennsylvania Real Estate News

43 Comments on The Personal Side of Our Business

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All

NOV
27
2009
226,538 Points 9 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Called Shot Master

A very touching and well written post.  It's so true that a house is more than just a house. Frequently  it has been someone's home for many, many years and we need to keep that it mind when working with sellers. There are alot of memories and emotions involved.
11:55am • #26
303,672 Points 10 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

Joe, I am extremely touched by your post.  My mom is not well and the little 3 bedroom cape that I grew up in is just not practical for my parents any longer due ot my mom's health condition.  While tossing around the idea to sell the house, my sister and I both feel that if they were selling and moving on to something better than it wouldn't be as depressing and as emotional as them selling because my mom is ill and cannot walk any longer. 

Last year one of my listings (who's husband/father died suddently right before we listed the home) received an offer in the fall.  The buyers wanted to close before Christmas because they obviously wanted to be in the "new" home for Christmas.  My sellers wanted to spend their "last" Christmas in their family home with memories of their husband and father.  It was a good offer and neither side would budge and it was so personal that there was nothing that I could, would or did say to my sellers to change their mind.  I stood firm on a longer closing date and the buyers walked but my sellers spent their last Christmas in their family home with their special memories of Christmas past.  We did end up selling 4 months later and this year they will make new memories in their new home. 

I agree though that many of us get caught up in getting the listing or making the sale that we don't realize how very, very personal the home is  to the homeowners especially if selling due to unfortunate circumstances.    Karen's comment is so true:  "....our clients not only entrust us with their dreams, they also entrust us with their precious memories."  Those memories are, in fact, priceless.
12:21pm • #27
1 Featured Post

Thank you everyone for your touching remarks and comments. Apparently I am not the only one who has strong memories of the family home. :)

You are all wonderful and to those who have mentioned that they've recently lost family members, I offer my deepest sympathy to you.

So that I never forget those memories of my family home when I am making those listing presentations or showing homes to buyer clients, I will place a photo snapshot of my home in one of the pockets of my portfolio. Whenever I open the portfolio there it will be to remind me to be gentle and sensitive to those who have invited me to be of service to them.

Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

Peace.
12:37pm • #28

Peace back to ya Joe.  It was the pencil markings of how tall the kids were that got me.
Bill Burns
12:53pm • #29
569,544 Points 1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Joe,  Thank you for writing this post !  I could not have written it nearly as well even though I also have some very similar memories ( Don't we all ? )  Thanks again for a very nice walk down memory lane !
1:20pm • #30
587,628 Points 106 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

What a beautiful post - and what a beautiful reminder to all that they are dealing with real people and real feelings.

Last night I started re-reading Og Mandino's "The Greatest Salesman in the World," and the very first "rule" listed is to greet the day with love in your heart. A good rule to remember when dealing with other people's emotions.
1:31pm • #31
1,126,396 Points 90 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Joe, what a great reminder of what we do, and how we really do impact people's lives. Happy turkey day.
4:53pm • #32
156,057 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Joe, hope you had a very Happy Thanksgiving. "It's business" - yes it is, but we're handling people's homes - the keyword being "people". Houses are "business" - Homes are layered with a whole other element - "people".
5:25pm • #33

Selling our home was gut wrenching. Four generations and 80 years of history. It still hurts but we're 1000 miles away.

 

Every house has a story.
6:12pm • #34
167,957 Points 4 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Touching post.  Selling a home is very personal.  We should all remember that!
6:38pm • #35
122,675 Points 3 Featured Posts

Isn't one of the best ways to honor a long-owned family home to sell it to another young family who will hopefully be there a long time too and create the same memories that your famly had?  It is never easy selling a family home but knowing that it will continue to be a treasure for another family is a wonderful gift.
6:54pm • #36
265,492 Points 3 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Joe,

I appreciated your post filled with reminders of how important our families are to us. I, too, have many memories of Thanksgiving meals shared with family members over the years. Many of them are now gone. They have been replaced: first by a wife, then children, then a son-in-law and, now, grandchildren.

I have great memories. Those memories are now being supplemented by wonderful new memories. The memory bank will never get full. Bring them on!

John Juarez, REALTOR

Windermere Properties of the East Bay

John@CarlMedford.com

510-673-0686
6:58pm • #37

Great post!  Thanks for the reminder.  I hope I never become insensitive to people's feelings.
7:14pm • #38
194,015 Points 1 Featured Post Outside Blog

I am with you Joe. I feel my greatest reward when I have helped a family - whether they are selling the family home or buying a new one. We always become great friends before we're done. And family can mean anything from either the traditional mom and dad and kids to two guys or two women and their dogs.

I went back to Wisconsin a few years ago where I grew up. Both my parents are gone, but I was so looking forward to seeing homes I had lived in as a child 40 and 50 years ago - my Dad was a Methodist minister so we moved around a lot to follow his 'calling'. The home I lived in for the last two years of high school was just not there - it was an empty lot. A friend recently sent me some photos of it - it had been moved out to the country.

My absolutely favorite house in Northern Wisconsin was on a HUGE lot - you could play football, and it backed up to a wonderfull forest that I spent hours exploring. We even made maple syrup from the sap of the trees. Imagine my surprise when we rounded the corner.....and saw......a parking lot for the nearby hospital. Yep. they paved paradise and put up a parking lot!
7:58pm • #39
127,709 Points

Warm thoughts and I hope you had a great thankgiving.
10:05pm • #40
NOV
28
2009
182,424 Points 30 Featured Posts Called Shot Master

What a wonderful post, Joe, and a great reminder of why we do what we do.  When my sister moved from the house that she had her babies in, she removed the door jamb that had marked how her three boys had grown over the years and brought it with her to her new home.  (She installed a new one for the new owners, of course).  I thought that was brilliant.  Maybe you could find a way for your mom to bring some of those memories with her to her new home, either via a door jamb or taking a picture of your sister's artwork and framing it, or something like that.  You're obviously a very empathetic and sensitive person so I'm sure you'll come up with something.  Good luck. -- Tanya in Montreal
9:54am • #41

What a great post Joe.  Really hit home for me as it's the holidays that inspire the nostalgia in the lives of my family members.  How beautiful to remind us that it's not just about the sticks and walls that make a home, but the histories of everyone who has shared in the "building".  This is such an emotion packed business and our job, to bring it to dollars and cents attempts to bridge the gaps between memories and the realities of today.  Great to remember that the dollars are not equal to anything else that has been provided in making the house a home. 
Lynn Ganster
10:39am • #42
Attended Rain Camp

Joe - thank you for sharing your heart and your personal side with us.  You are blessed to have this wonderful legacy of memories of family and home!

I especially liked how you worded the last paragraph and while I hope that I have been mindful in the past, I'll think of your post and try even harder in the future.

Peace and Blessings to all ~ Ceci
3:41pm • #43
NOV
30
2009

I tell my sellers that deciding to sell is a huge step in weaning them of all the attachments involved. I tell them that sometimes they will sell in months, and sometimes they will sell in weeks or days. They had better be emotionally ready to walk away soon. Just by signing a listing agreement they have the understanding that they may have to be gone, packed and out inside 1 month if that buyer with a bag of money shows up. It is hard to say that they are not buying your memories, they are buying a house at this location.
Margaret Barnes
5:06pm • #44
DEC
11
2009
107,181 Points

very touching...your house, moms house, relatives house....the out house....savor the moments with mom...mind passed the week b/4 Thanksgiving
7:57am • #45

20 Most Recent Comments Displayed Show All


What does the graphic say?
Leave a response…

(optional)
Spam Prevention:
 
Joe_sheehan_01

Joe Sheehan, ABR, SRES

Pottstown, PA

More about me…

RE/MAX Professional Realty, Inc.

Address: 557 W. Uwchlan Ave, Exton, PA, 19341

Office Phone: (610) 363-8444

Cell Phone: (484) 948-0936

Email Me



Links

Archives

RSS 2.0 Feed for this blog