Can't believe it's Thanksgiving 2009. Seems like we were just in the midst of summer. The Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season can bring many family celebrations, and for many, stress. Don't worry. You are not alone. If you think you are the only one that gets a knot in your stomach going to family gatherings, think again.
I was listening to Washington, DC's WTOP news radio station yesterday. They had a forty-second interview with a psychologist on how to deal with family stress during the holidays. In particular, the kind of stress you get when you see a family member that picks at you, or is overly negative. Or that one relative whose personality just rubs you the wrong way.
I understand the "picking" they are talking about. It happens when you become the center of an unwanted conversation. For me, that topic is the "When are you going to have kids?" conversation. There is nothing I say that satisfies my relatives. I have often thought of responses that would make them stop asking like, "I can't," but that is not true. Fact is, my husband and I do not feel the need to have kids and this drives some of my relatives insane.
One of the coping mechanisms the psychologist gave was taking a walk, away from the crowd, when you feel uncomfortable or annoyed. Or not getting into arguments, because it would just make future family functions unpleasant and not really solve anything at the moment anyway. As he put it--it's highly unlikely that anything you say will make a difference in how someone else acts. He's right.
The coping mechanism I thought hilarious was "sitting by yourself in a dark room." Gosh, that sounds completely depressing. I picture myself taking to a dark room, with only my thoughts, after a round of, "When are you going to have kids?" Seems like if I wanted to sit in a dark room by myself, I wouldn't have come to the family celebration.
My personal favorite coping mechanism is humor. Can't leave home without my sense of humor. And thank God my husband is the same...and has a memory that puts anyone else's to shame. We look at the annoyances, or the annoying, of our families us comedy material. When you have that braggart in the family that just can't shut up about their accomplishments, they are all noted and brought back later in the James and Chris Ann Theater.
I'd rather laugh than be annoyed any day of the week. So today, if we face any unwanted annoyances, James' mental tape recorder will be on, I'll remember what I can, and we'll laugh in a more appropriate setting---the comfort of our own home.
Chris Ann Cleland, Associate Broker- Licensed in Virginia, GRI, SFR, Northern Virginia Short Sale Specialist. Affiliated with Long & Foster, 7526 Limestone Drive, Gainesville, VA 20155. To contact Chris Ann, call 703-402-0037 or email chrisann@LNF.com. Or you can visit her website: www.nvarealestate.net.
Header is a photo of Braemar in Bristow, VA during one of the blizzards of the 2009-2010 winter season.
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