Hi All,
A few days ago I wrote what can only be described as an epic post and this coming from me, as someone who has never been moderate with my words is saying something. There was a whole lot going on in that piece but one of the things that I felt was most important was contained in barely two lines.
I realized as I wrote what a V.O.I.C.E. was for me and why it mattered, that there was a whole lot more than just a style or sound. Here is what I wrote:
"Here, in the blogosphere, we have one thing and one thing only to work with - our V.O.I.C.E.. I translate that to stand for Values, Opinions, Integrity, Credibility and Ethics. Damage any one of them and everything is tainted."
I have listened attentively to everyone expound on their "voice" and how to get or use one both in and out of the blogosphere, but I realized that in all the times that I have heard or for that matter, participated in the discussions, I was being either way to literal or far too esoteric. This broke things down nicely for me and I plan on using it when I teach my class to help folks understand the concept.
It has been a very interesting thing to see or accurately, to hear how people's voice, as in what they say and the "sound" it makes in your head when you read them, compares to this breakdown of the word as an acronym.
The things we put on the page and the way we decide to share them, carry much more weight than their definitions do. A comment worded harshly conveys to the reader impatience and irritation in the writer. Sure, this may be the 10-millionth time you have run across the topic, but it may be the only time someone else is reading it. Being a poo-poo head hurts you far more than it does the recipient.
And I also don't think that there is any place for rudeness or cruelty. I know that I have chosen not to do business with places that were cruel or rude to others in my presence. And I am sure that I am not alone. Whether it be in public or via a private email, and there is no such thing as a private email by the way, I personally have had emails that I wrote get published, here in fact. (I didn't mind the email being shared, but was bummed about losing the 200 points LOL.)
Sure, it can be difficult to "rise above" and at times taking the high road seems like a colossal waste of time. But, I assure you it is not. As business professionals we have chosen to place ourselves in an industry where who we are and what we are matters as much, if not more than what we know. I am not saying that the knowledge is of lesser importance, but that is not the first thing that is seen.
You wouldn't go out on a listing appointment wearing flip-flops, a filthy, grease stained T-shirt, cut off sweats and yesterday's underwear, but might think nothing of taking your Armani or St. John clad self right down into the mud pit so that you can gather a handful to sling at someone else.
When I was a kid, I went to Disneyland with my mom. There was going to be a parade (shocking, I know :-) so she had seated herself on the curb and I set off for drinks. Owing to the lines and the crowds, by the time I had completed my errand, things had gotten so congested that although I was merely 20 feet from her, I could no more get there than I could fly.
Rather than try to push or shove my way through, I stayed put. The parade started and the characters in it were huge. Several stories tall and easy to see from almost anywhere. The family that had come up behind me, well after I had arrived at my stopping point, had an infant in a stroller and they were pitching a fit because I was standing in front of the baby. There was no where else to go, at that point I couldn't even move left or right, the baby could see as well as I could but these folks were just having none of it. They spent the entire 1/2 hour that the parade passed by berating, baiting and actually verbally abusing me.
I remember having had a moment where I turned and I really wanted to blast them, to be as rude to them as they were being to me, but in the time it took to turn, my better nature took hold and I again apologized for being unable to help them (we were all about fifty people back from the curbside by the way, so even if I had fought my way to the rear of the group, the problem of someone being in front of them would have persisted still.)
Thirty minutes is a really long time, especially when you are a kid and a rather large group of adults is being really cruel and mean to you. We are talking about schoolyard bully tactics here. Finally, the parade ended, the crowds began to disburse and I finally made it to my mom with our now melted drinks. Just as I arrived at her side and was about to tell her my saga, someone tapped her on the shoulder and asked if I was her daughter.
My mom told them that I was and asked what this was about, I was beyond my boiling point now and was ready to explode like a volcano, as I drew in my breath to tell this person, who I thought was one of my attackers, what I thought of them, their whole family and the rock they clearly crawled out from under, the lady began to tell my mother that she had stood next to me while the entire parade nonsense had taken place and she had been so impressed by how I handled myself during the entire episode that she wanted to find my mother and compliment her on the good job she had done with raising me. A valuable lesson was learned by me on Main Street USA that day. One that I have never forgotten. And one that I could have missed entirely if I had slung the mud instead of climbing the mountain.
If you remember that within your voice is your V.O.I.C.E., and that your Values, Opinions, Integrity, Credibility and Ethicsare clearly on display with every word you write no matter where you place them, you needn't fear your past. No matter what someone finds and no matter how old it may be, it will still share an accurate picture of who you really are.
Take care all, help lots of people and have a wonderful day!
Tisza
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