This may be a little raw and emotional, but I felt compelled to post it today.
I am 44 years old, I have been through some things. I have watched loved ones die, I have worked in the prison system where I was sent out to deal with riots or hostage situation. But recently, I have had to deal with the hardest thing I have had to do.
There is a long series of events that brings me to this point, but for the past couple months, I have been dealing with the only home my parents have ever owned.
When I got the call that mom had a terminal diagnosis and mom (who had a brain tumor that was not operable or treatable) and dad (who has Alzheimers and depended on mom for everything) had been moved from their home of almost 60 years to a nursing home, I booked a flight from Oregon to their area in Pennsylvania.
It was back and forth to the nursing home to see mom, then to the house to deal with the almost 60 years of accumulation of stuff. Do people really need receipts from the 50's and 60's? My vote is no. But that is a moot point. My sister and I spent the two weeks I was back in PA at my parents house weeding through scores of stuff. Attics, basement, stuff packed in boxes for years! We called a garbage hauler to take away the stuff, broken things, old stuff, things that should have been pitched years ago, and he weighed out at almost a ton (literally) of disposed items. A bunch of decent stuff we took to mom's favorite church, the Girard United Methodist Church, for their annual rummage sale.
Then I got the news that mom was stable, could go on for a month or two like this, and I flew back to Oregon. She took a turn for the worse a short time later and passed away. I booked a flight for us to stay in PA about a month. My husband thought this would be a slam dunk, but I knew better. When we arrived, Dad could not process her loss due to the Alzheimer's. What a cruel disease this is. The funeral was especially hard when Dad would blurt out "How'd she die?" or "Where's your mother?" from time to time.
Once we settled in to 60 years worth of accumulation that had already been scrounged over to purge the stuff, we got going. We searched the internet for value on some of the things in the house, then ran a "speculation" group on ebay, stuff we could find very little information on, and it fell flat on its face. Then we had some "garage sales" that were tough on me. People picking through things my parents treasured, trying to get less than the bargain price we had already put on it. Hard. We sold some other items on ebay, packed a large box to ship back to Oregon by freight, and shipped several boxes of stuff by UPS. But going through that huge accumulation of just things took its toll on me. What do you do with tons of IBEW (international brotherhood of electrical workers) mugs??? How about that rolling pin that grampa made 100 years ago? The collection of small plates mom loved? The Haeger doves she had in her curio? It goes on and on.
The day I had the Realtor over to list the house for sale, I cried after he left. Rob is a fantastic guy, so much better than what I experienced on line. The first Realtor I contacted about listing my family home simply sent me a referral form, how cold. The second sent me a CMA and a referral form, not much better. I contacted the floor agent at the same franchise I work for, she seemed nice, but had zero follow through, not what I had in mind. So, I walked in, rolled the dice, and ended up with Rob McGee. He has been great so far, I suspect this transaction is safe in his hands. So much more compassionate and understanding of the situation, makes me mindful of the way I need to handle these transaction.
But wading through years of their accumulation, all these treasures they prized,
Tonight is our last night here, tomorrow we fly back to Oregon. I sat in my old bedroom tonight and cried, it is the last time I will see it as my parents made it for me.
I thought I was going to be strong through this, but this is absolutely the hardest thing I have had to do in my life. I will be so cognizant of clients facing the same circumstances, and treat them with the respect that the transaction deserves. And God bless my husband, he just opens his arms.
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