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Like Dating, Real Estate Property Purchases Should Be Homes You Like 90% About The Place.

By
Real Estate Agent with MOOERS REALTY ME Broker License 106759

    

If you link up with a person where you want to change 90% of who they are, that is not a good match.

It presents a heck of a challenge if you go in with short term attraction but not long term compatibility. Real estate is like dating. The process of elimination, selection, locating a good "fit" for you. It starts with knowing who you are, what makes you tick.  There may be nothing wrong with the "girl next door" real estate you locate, but just not a good link up for you based on your strengths, weaknesses in time, money, resources. If the real estate needs this changed, that overhauled, replacement of many major construction components, walk away. Unless you have unlimited financial resources, are clever with a hammer and possess tons of patience along with Bob Vila's cell phone number as your mentor, run away.

     Like a tendency to be attracted to extremely high maintenance partners, the wrong ones for you, the real estate "dating"and "match making" process will not have a happy ending. Except with real estate, unlike something you like, buy and then leave in the closet because it is no longer your cup of tea, you are stuck with the place, the mortgage. The stakes are way way higher. Recovery is long. The "divorce" or sale is going to be painful, expensive, and takesad puppy some time. So take a number, have a seat. Like a knack of hooking up with the wrong person at the wrong time for you, the home that intially makes your heart race may have a job jar that is the size of a 55 gallon drum. You made excuses as your heart flutters during the early dating and minimized this, that.

    

Or just did not see with your puppy dog saucer size moon eyes the real place, the real picture..is that the problem?

What were you thinking...or were you thinking when you first wined and dined and flirted with real estate that was way way over your head? I think the technical term is back when you were "ga ga" about the place. Now the light bulb comes on and your sense of reason in your head takes over the thinking process from just following your heart, your feelings.

     It boils down to just a bad match with no hope of lasting because of "compatibility" issues. Real estate where your third date is the last date. Except you own the place.You are stuck, mismatched. And the intial real estate spell that tractor beamed you in to the purchase is gone, a fleeting memory. At the time, maybe you were on real estate rebound, it was too soon to buy. You were vulnerable, not seeing things the way they were. Missing real estate clues...shopping when you were hungry, desperate and thinking the new place would fix your life. Change things. Is any of this ringing a bell?

     "I think our 55 minutes is up... (sound of leather couch as Mr Wounded Heart Real Estate Owner gets up) and here is the number of a quality, aggressive, passionate realtor to get the place listed. Get the home sold so you can get on with your life. And next time, maybe let someone else like a home inspector  "pick your dates", help you find a real estate "partner" that is compatible. One you can afford in many ways. Not scolding, I'm just saying."

Maine REALTOR Andrew Mooers

Comments (14)

Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@Properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Andrew, I am convinced that people select homes the same way they select mates.  It's all about the pheromones!

Dec 13, 2009 01:55 AM
Candice A. Donofrio
Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker - Fort Mohave, AZ
928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text

Yeah, right on. It's much better to NOT marry in haste, then repent at leisure...haha

Dec 13, 2009 01:58 AM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

I agree Pat. Agendas..to fix past mistakes that some mates don't take ownership for. Take away the feelings and make a list of your values, beliefs, likes and dislikes. Then if someone else not so involved emotionally looked the list of the potential mates over, or homes in this case over and said this one is you..maybe you and I would have less homes to sell. I know divorces cause a lot of our need for sales. Blended family with 8 kids total mean the little 3 bedroom shoe box ranch with the "scent"of another woman in it means a real estate sign is going up on the lawn. They need space, new place to start over and build a famly life in. I hear and understand when one new partner says this home is "hers", "his" but we need one that is "ours".

yoyo dog

Dec 13, 2009 02:07 AM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Nice hat Candice. Helping Santa spread the holiday cheer.

Dec 13, 2009 02:13 AM
Peggy James
SAMSON PROPERTIES - Woodbridge, VA
Woodbridge Virginia Area Real Estate Specialist

Hi Andrew, I'm sure you had a great deal of fu n writing this post.

"Buying Real Estate is a big deal."The home must be compatible to a home buyers lifestyle and  needs. Just like marriage, the worst thing that can happen is shortly in when your Puppy Dog Moon Eyes begin to open you find out your not compatible with your new life partner. Yikes!!  Tip: It costs so little to get into real estate ( and a marriage) but the costs of getting out are far more expensive!

Home Buyers must always consider every aspect of buying before they jump in with both feet.  Just because it is in your price range and you kind of like it does it mean it is a good fit. If you are not sure...look at more!

Dec 13, 2009 02:18 AM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Peggy...you too are a real estate counselor...ah uh...how long have your felt that way...uh huh. Okay, times up. We are all Dr Phils in dealing with people that live in the property we peddle. Your heart does get involved. This week we are running a special on rHarmony.com

Dec 13, 2009 02:42 AM
Jane Peters
Home Jane Realty - Los Angeles, CA
Los Angeles real estate concierge services

Excellent analogy, Andrew.  I never married and I never bought a house.  What does that tell you :)  Can't commit.

Dec 13, 2009 07:42 AM
Leslie Helm
Tennessee Recreational Properties - Jamestown, TN
Real Estate For Trail Riders

Hi, Andy. Good post! I've found that, in showing real estate recently, people either like a home or they don't. There may be something about it that could be altered to accomodate what they want but they don't want to pay the purchase price and start doing surgery. They want something that's right for them and ready to move in to.

 Maybe it's because they're older and they've already "been there, done that."

Dec 14, 2009 12:15 AM
Debe Maxwell, CRS
Savvy + Company (704) 491-3310 - Charlotte, NC
The RIGHT CHARLOTTE REALTOR!

Laughing at Jane's comment and I, too, love the analogy!  With home purchaes, there should be no gray--either love it or hate it!  If there's gray involved, then there's danger of a divorce ahead!!

Enjoy your week...

Debe In CharlotteMerry Christmas

Dec 14, 2009 03:13 PM
Andrew Mooers | 207.532.6573
MOOERS REALTY - Houlton, ME
Northern Maine Real Estate-Aroostook County Broker

Jane...get on the horse, buy a house...and ...well let us know about the rest of haven't dones on the bucket list.

Leslie..you are right. Living with a table saw in a living room, the sawdust and on and on of "let's fix this home" can get old. Remember Grossman's? It was a hardware chain like a Home Depot before HD...their slogan was "There's a little Grossman's in you" meaning you can swing a hammer, do that tile job. We'll show you how. If it is not fun, and if it's expensive and goes on and on...many folks say "pass"

Debe...let's join forces and get Jane in to her own place and meet up as an AR group there for the New Year's Celebration. I don't think she would mind.

 

Dec 14, 2009 11:41 PM
Allison Stewart
St.Cloud Homes - Saint Cloud, FL
St. Cloud Fl Realtor, Osceola County Real Estate 407-616-9904

Andrew- there is no question that people can "Love a home" and in time the romance may fade along with the paint, landscaping, plumbing and electrical issues.... The love affair with mates and homes does require attention to preserve it. Sometimes all it takes it a little sprucing up (mates included) to rekindle those long lost feelings other times it requires a fresh start.

I enjoyed your blog immensely.

Dec 19, 2009 08:28 PM
Tony Grego, 317-663-4173 #1 Trade Association for Alternative Inv
REISA - 317-663-4173 - Indianapolis, IN

Great Post!

At the end of the day even investors must "like" the home. On the opposite no one would spend "real" money on something they don't like

Tony

Dec 19, 2009 10:12 PM
Russell Lewis
Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate - Austin, TX
Broker,CLHMS,GRI

Hi Andrew, I found your excellent post on Pat's week in review and you are so right. Funny thing is...the last two homes my wife and I have purchased were not really what we started out looking for; through a process of elimination and being open to different ideas we ended up with homes that were much better for us in the long run. And we sill love our present home after 17 years!

Dec 20, 2009 01:11 AM
Michelle Francis
Tim Francis Realty LLC - Atlanta, GA
Realtor, Buckhead Atlanta Homes for Sale & Lease

Andrew, Very cute blog.  I always like my clients to check out a place they are buying a few times, as you will consistently note new "items" on each visit.  The fewer surprises after closing the better!!!  All the best, Mcihelle

Dec 20, 2009 01:38 PM