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You Might be a Taliban

By
Real Estate Agent with Benchmark Realty LLc License# 00285925

 taliban

"YOU MAY BE A TALIBAN IF..."
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to liquor.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you haven't declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least four.
10. You've always had a crush on your neighbor's goat.

 

 

This posting and the contents written here are the intellectual property and opinions of Larry Brewer of Keller Williams Realty. Providing real estate services to clients in Nashville, Brentwood, Franklin, Green Hills, and all of Middle Tennessee

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Comments (35)

Cheri Smith
Prudential Gary Greene, Cypress TX - Cypress, TX
Realtor Prudential Gary Greene

Well, I prefer baby wipes to using my hand (lol) but I do not eat pork. I also believe television is dangerous but alas I have 4.

I don't think I qualify.

Melissa, If you ever want an explanation of the pork issue, let me know and I will explain personally. I also stopped eating my favorite shrimp and catfish. It's not about what most people think it is. It's about eating things that are good for you versus eating garbage animals that were never intended for human consumption to begin with.

Dec 19, 2009 05:03 AM
Broker Nick
South Florida Real Estate & Development, Inc. - Coconut Creek, FL
Broker Nick Relocation Broker Service

Great Post - I prefer eating lobster myself, but then again I don't live in Afghanistan

Dec 19, 2009 05:47 AM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

cheri - eat whatever you like. But please wash your hands first.

Nicholas - A also prefer lobster, but I don't think these guys have ever seen one.

Dec 19, 2009 06:06 AM
Cheri Smith
Prudential Gary Greene, Cypress TX - Cypress, TX
Realtor Prudential Gary Greene

Maybe we should send them a lobster gram?

Dec 19, 2009 07:16 AM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

Cheri - If i could attach a tracking devise so that our military could get a better shot.

Dec 19, 2009 07:45 AM
Simon Conway
Orlando Area Real Estate Services - Orlando, FL

That's such a cool idea! We should so test out Lobstergram or FedEx!! :)

Dec 19, 2009 08:39 AM
Melissa Anderson
Be My Neighbor Mortgage - San Antonio, TX
Your Texas Lender

Don't waste a perfectly good lobster!

Dec 19, 2009 09:14 AM
Melissa Anderson
Be My Neighbor Mortgage - San Antonio, TX
Your Texas Lender

Don't waste a perfectly good lobster!

Dec 19, 2009 09:14 AM
Delaware Junk Removal Residential And Commercial Hauling Clean Outs
Delaware Junk Removal 302-530-9186 - Wilmington, DE
Whole House Clean Outs, Basements, Garages, Attics

Larry-  You wipe your butt with your bare hand, but consider bacon "unclean."  Classic!  Hey maybe you should make this members only?  Id hate for them to blow up the wrong Larry!  :)

Dec 19, 2009 10:08 AM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

Melissa - I wouldn't waste it on a taliban, but Iwould consider sending some to the troops.

Larry - I live in Tennessee, we don't really expect to have any Taliban problems.

Dec 19, 2009 10:32 AM
Delaware Junk Removal Residential And Commercial Hauling Clean Outs
Delaware Junk Removal 302-530-9186 - Wilmington, DE
Whole House Clean Outs, Basements, Garages, Attics

Larry- Hey, they are coming to America Ill. which is a short camel ride from Tennessee if im not mistaken.

Dec 19, 2009 01:39 PM
Broker Nick
South Florida Real Estate & Development, Inc. - Coconut Creek, FL
Broker Nick Relocation Broker Service

I love number #7 comments...it fits on the list for sure.

Dec 20, 2009 08:14 AM
The Brewer Team - Benchmark Realty
Benchmark Realty - Franklin, TN

You might be a taliban if you smell like a goat, and your many wifes that you kidnapped want you to become a suiside bomber.

Dec 20, 2009 11:41 PM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

Larry - We would love a visit by some camel riding Taliban.

Nicholas - THanks for the comment. I think they are all appropriate, and now I can think of a few more.

Dec 20, 2009 11:45 PM
Mark Watterson
Salt Lake City, UT
Utah Real Estate

That's a great list.  I enjoyed the read. Including the additions to yours.....

Dec 21, 2009 01:25 AM
Cheri Smith
Prudential Gary Greene, Cypress TX - Cypress, TX
Realtor Prudential Gary Greene

lol at Hugh.

Dec 21, 2009 01:48 AM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

Mark - THanks, I have had a few pretty good comments on this one.

Cheri - yes

Dec 21, 2009 06:42 AM
Alice Linahan
Voices Empower - Argyle, TX

Larry,

I just posted on my FB wall!! Loved it!!

Dec 21, 2009 03:00 PM
Larry Brewer - Benchmark Realty llc
Benchmark Realty LLc - Nashville, TN

Alice - THanks for spreading the laughter. The visual images of some of these make me laugh every day that i read it.

Dec 21, 2009 11:35 PM
The Brewer Team - Benchmark Realty
Benchmark Realty - Franklin, TN

And they might let you on an airplane even though you are on the no fly list, and your name has every letter in the alphabet, and you have no reason to be in this country. The pains we endure to make sure we are not profiling is amazing.

Dec 28, 2009 12:30 AM