What was I thinking?

There's nothing worse than some ActiveRain goddess telling us what we all should be doing. Ppppffftttt. Last time I jump on some bandwagon.

I've been baking. 'Nuff said. I'm not a baker. I like to cook. But a confectioner, I. Am. Not. Ever watch Top Chef and hear them whine and moan about how they aren't pastry chefs? That was kinda me the last couple of days.

I made the mistake of reading a real estate blog where said blogger talked about how she used to bake a gingerbread house for each of her past clients. It eventually got to be too much and so she started making gingerbread cookies in the shape of houses.

I thought "Wow! What a great idea!" Mere moments later I was softening butter for Easy Cutout Sugar Cookies (a misnomer of a title designed to draw you in and later spit you out). A trip to the Sugar Shop for a house shaped cookie cutter, 2 glasses of wine, and one fit of yelling at my son later, I had cookies.

For those who missed my Facebook status: always check your oven to see what you last decided to store in it before pre-heating.

You're welcome.

I had visions of dozens of gloriously confected creations dancing in my head. Ready to be delivered Santa-like over the course of the next few days to everyone who was anyone. What I got was 24 (that would be a total of TWO - i.e. not twelve - dozen) globularly shaped cookies with a nary a hint of home-iness about them.

At some point I decided - or perhaps fate decided for me - that I would not strive for ridiculous perfection but rather for charming whimsy. While I was at the Sugar Shop, I also picked up some black food coloring, a decorating tip and a couple of piping bags. These were to be the cookies to end all cookies. Other Christmas cookies would cower in shame when my cookies approached. Each one would have the recipient's name initials delicately engraved in black piping. You know, just to show how much I care.

Didn't happen.

You know what else didn't happen? Cookies decorated in such a way that they can be transported more than one at a time. I made cream cheese frosting which I then lovingly slathered onto each of my creations.

Guess what?

You can't stack something that contains cream cheese! It will just meld into its compatriots below (and above). So my beauties are chilling as we speak and I will then hand deliver them, one at a time, to their intended recipients.

Somebody better buy a #&$% house lovely home as a direct perhaps indirect result of all of this work.

If you get one (or, possibly if you are very, VERY good; two) of these cookies, know that you are special. Know that I was thinking of you when I made them. You had better appreciate it (just sayin'). If you don't get one of these cookies, know that I would like for you to have one but I just didn't have it in me.

If you are very special but you still didn't get one? Well, I probably never got around to delivering them.

There's always next year.

PS. Did you know that black food coloring will turn your hands green, no matter how quickly and how well you wash it off? Well, it's true. I'm like the freaking HULK over here. Don't make me mad!

Last time I EVER come to AR for marketing ideas (just kidding - love you guys! Well, most of you anyway!).

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Julia Odom enjoys long walks on the beach, debating the renovation vs. restoration question and hanging out with home inspectors.

Visit Chattanooga Real Estate News to search homes for sale or view the rest of her blog