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Many years ago, when my favorite aunt died, my parents - as the geographically closest siblings - took charge of cleaning out her house, and distributing her furniture and other household goods to her many nieces and nephews.  They discovered that the den and basement were full of "stuff" - old newspapers, memorabilia, files about her many interests - and bags of unopened mail!  Apparently, in addition to never throwing anything away, my aunt had latterly been unable to cope with the daily influx of mail and all of the decisions that demanded.  What a mess!  Unpaid bills, yes, but also undeposited checks - many outdated.

About 5 years ago, my parents acknowledged that Dad, who had had a number of strokes, could no longer cope with living in a 2-story house - even a chair lift was insufficient.  So, they decided to sell their beautiful home, and move to a condo.  My mother, then a feisty 87-year-old, was able to take charge of sorting and clearing the house, mustering a veritable army of helpers - including me.  Since I live 600 miles away, I was able to visit only once / month.  My task, then, was going through cartons of "stuff," to determine what was still of value to us, and what could be thrown out or given away.  Guess what?  Some of those cartons contained my aunt's papers and photos - still hanging around, after 20 years.  Of course, there were also cartons of items from my parents' life together - and some of my own souvenirs and clippings.

Time passed faster than I could complete the sorting during my once / month forays to the North, so a number of these cartons found their way to the storage room at the condo.  My father died last year.  This year, Mother found that she could no longer cope with the condo and making meals, and chose to move to a retirement home, where she would have a large measure of independence, but others would make the meals.  Last Spring, then, I found myself faced with some of those same cartons.  I made more progress on the cartons, this time, but could not get to the drawers and shelves, which my mother - legally blind from macular degeneration - was now unable to address, herself.

The move from the condo to the retirement home was complex, involving 5 different moves:  most to the What is in those cartons?retirement home, a lot to me in New Jersey, some to a neighboring city for nieces and great-nieces, some to the Salvation Army, and some to the dump.  A wonderful moving planner, who specializes in the needs of the elderly, organized everything for us.  Nevertheless, a lot of Mother's household belongings that she no longer had space for, were moved with her.  And so, the sorting and tossing has continued, once / month, ever since.

Through all of this year's moving stresses, I have been thinking of the first piece of advice we give our sellers: get rid of everything you no longer need, and don't plan to take with you.  In other words, "tidy up" and de-clutter your house, so that it looks more spacious to potential buyers.  It's difficult advice for many people to take, because it involves a lot of decision-making and sheer labor.  Ultimately, however, making that effort leads to an earlier sale and a much smoother move.

Look around your own home.  How much of that advice should you be taking, yourself?  Even if you don't plan to move in the near future, consider the challenges you will face when you do have to move - and are just that much older, with that much more "stuff" to deal with.  Suppose a calamity should strike - as they do, far too often - and you are unable to make those decisions, yourself.  Who will be left to cope with your collection of memorabilia and "stuff"?  Your children?  Your grand-children?  A disinterested estate agent?

And so, I recommend that each of us tackle one room each month, and clear it out.  Our homes will look better, we will have a sense of accomplishment, and our families will bless us!  I plan to take my own advice.

 

 

48 Comments on Do Everyone a Favor, and Tidy Up!

DEC
21
2009
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Robin - We went through this a few months ago after my mother-in-law died.  She was a clinical hoarder, and we were astounded by how much stuff she kept, even though my wife had helped several times to purge things.  This is great advice.

4:57pm • #1

Great advice, went through this recently with several grandparents.  Before we put our house on the market my husband and I held several yard sales and took things to consignment shops and donated the rest.  Our well organized home had two offers within two weeks; it really pays!

Shelley

5:07pm • #2
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Nice post, Robin.  We tell our clients to declutter because it works.  Many of us probably need to do the same.  One room a month is a good plan. Time goes by so quickly, it will be done before you know it!

5:13pm • #3
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Robin, I am going through this now with my parent's home. I think we don't de-clutter our own homes because we have better things to do with our time. Pay me now, pay me later.

5:29pm • #4
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Robin, great advice. My father -in-law passed away last week and my wife stayed for a few days and brought my mother-in-law home to stay for a few weeks. She said I would not believe how much stuff was in every closet as well as a walk in attic.

You just don't realize how it adds up.

5:33pm • #5
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Robin, I'm sorry for your loss. You are right, cleaning out regularly will make it so much easier for those we leave behind.  It certainly is a freeing feeling to have less stuff.

5:33pm • #6
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I appreciate everyone's comments. Thank you!

As Ted says, "You just don't realize how it adds up."

We all say that "time flies," but often forget what goes along with that time - memories, usually enhanced by something tangible. Before you know it, 6 months, a year, a decade have passed, and all that "stuff" is ... where? In your closets, on shelves, in cartons, in Big Brown shopping bags, behind doors, on the floor, ... in fact, occupying every available space.

Jen remarked on the "freeing feeling" that comes from eliminating the excess. She's right! You get such a sense of accomplishment from working your way through a room and cleaning it out.  Unlike real estate, where all of the hard work often remains hidden or unrewarded for months, cleaning up is immediately gratifying.

And Shelley provided an example where the cleanup paid off in "real money" - a quick sale.

Please feel free to share this post with any of your clients who are resisting your call to de-clutter.

All the best,

... Robin

5:43pm • #7
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My father raised me to throw things out I hadn't touched in 6 months. I think that was a bit hardcore (after all, the Christmas ornaments would have been long gone) and we also lived in a more temperate climate so we didn't have a summer and a winter wardrobe. However, I have long since kicked the habit of being a pack rat :-)

 

6:10pm • #8
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After a Navy career filled with moves approx every 3 years, I learned something about moving, not because I was frugal, but mainly because of weight limits on household good shipments. It was almost impossible to collect too much stuff. Something I learned after leaving the service and that I preach to clients today is that after you move, and if you still have things boxed up after 6 months from the date of your move, you have not missed and you probably don't need it....get rid of it!  Great rule of thumb.

6:17pm • #9
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I just moved in with my father-in-law to take care of him. He has a great farm house on 45 acres, and a house FULL of his beloved stuff. I had a house full, too. Now we have one house full of two houses worth of stuff. We have thrown out and donated, and weeded...it's still completely overwhelming. I'm hoping that by NEXT Christmas I have everything put away or sold or given away, and I can have a dining room instead of a storage room. Moving is messy and time consuming. But mostly HARD. Craigslist is really becoming my friend.

6:26pm • #10
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I'm going to show this post to my husband. If he won't get rid of his "stuff" for me - maybe he'll do it for those who will eventually have to clean up after us. I'm sure this was somewhat difficult for you to write, Robin, but something we all need to read.

6:28pm • #11
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Not me this is going to be a payback to our son when we are gone.  He's going to have to pick up after us!!!!!  Even my wife laughs about this one.  My wife had me haul all ( I mean all) his toys up in to the attic years ago

6:36pm • #12

Robin,

Thanks for your thoughtful post. When we bought our home 10 years ago we were unaware of the storage spaces in the knee-wall attic areas... access was hidden inside closets and elsewhere. It took many months to rid our new home of someone else's accumulation.

As I sorted thru the attic contents: baby cribs (long since "outlawed" because of the space of the rails), Hummel figurines (damaged but still lovely), Christmas decorations, plates & glassware, even Mass cards for a deceased child... I had a strange voyeuristic feeling, as if I shouldn't be rummaging thru the personal effects of another family.  Still, that family didn't deem it worth their while to move it all with them. 

I subsequently learned more about the family dynamics that may have led to the previous owners' leaving behind so much "stuff" but it was still uncomfortable (not to mention inconvenient... every bulk pickup people asked if WE were moving because of all that we had put out) for me to decide what to toss.

I know Feng Shui encourages eliminating clutter so "chi" - energy - is able to travel thru our space in a positive way.  And yet most of us, me included, find it hard to part with much of it.. letting it pile up in whatever spaces we allow.   

I think we'd all benefit from an attitude of living with less, needing less, wanting less.  Getting rid of clutter not only helps sell houses, it helps us focus on what is truly important in our lives.  All of the "stuff" is merely a distraction.  Thanks for that reminder.

6:41pm • #13
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Robin, thank you for the advice.  I have been putting off doing a garage sale for my dad, just to get rid of some extra stuff he doesn't want.  I'll have to move it higher on my priority list.

6:54pm • #14
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This was always something I was going to dread with my Mother's house. Some 4,000 sq ft of antiques and collectibles, not to mention everything else.

The Good Lord decided to solve the problem, and the house burned to the ground with everything in it in 2007.

I'd give anything to have the worry hanging over my head of what to do with all that stuff (much of it quite valuable)!

Some of those memories you find in those boxes might just be worth it all!

6:58pm • #15
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One of my projects the next few weeks is to clean closets for a year end declutter/purge. We have our clients do this, so should we!

7:18pm • #16
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Robin ~ your post gives us some excellent advice regardless of our age or circumstances.  We've seen this with elderly relatives and not-so-elderly ones who passed away suddenly and weren't as "organized" as they might have been -- which taught me a lesson.  I like your idea of doing one room or area a month.  This way, you won't get overwhelmed by the task.  It's such a good feeling to get all the unnecessary "stuff" put where it belongs (much in the recycled paper container).

7:20pm • #17

Kudos. What a great article, Robin.  Those of us of a certain age can remember George Carlin's routine on stuff. Some of Carlin's lines were, "That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is - a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time."  Ain't that the truth?

Getting rid of stuff has been on my list of things to do for longer than I care to say. But, thanks to you, I am making it a priority in 2010.  You've given me a REASON that makes sense.  I also plan to do a little more walking next year, too. 

Michael Adams (CENTURY 21 Moretti Realty)
7:22pm • #18
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When I moved a few months ago, I thought I threw out all of what I didn't need anymore... as I'm unpacking boxes still, I realized there is still much to throw away!  It's hard, and I'm one who needs something as soon as I throw it away!

7:57pm • #19
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Few years ago my husband and I moved to AZ, we took bare neccessaties, couch, bed, dresser. We put the rest in storage. When we got back we decided we lived 1.5 yrs with what we had. So everything in storage went to the dump or donation. It felt great! We just bought another house and moved and once again did a huge clean out again. Stuff just adds up quickly! It amazes me.
8:02pm • #20
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When my grandmother moved from her home to a retirement home, she left the house her grandfather built.  She was the first person to move out vertically since it was built in 1905... that house had stuff in it.  Took a little while to clear...

8:28pm • #21
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I'm delighted to learn that the post "touched a chord," for many of you.  Thank you for your comments and additional suggestions.

Maureen, your modification of my suggestion to include "or area" is very good.  Sometimes, a room can be far too much to tackle - especially if it's the "designated junk room."  Thank you!

Christianne and Randy, you are among the blessed: raised with the discipline to never let your "things" pile up.  I hope that the rest of your family is the same way.  Congratulations!  Unfortunately, the country is overflowing with the rest of us, who have the pack-rat gene.

Amy, I can surely relate to your tale.  I've been doing eBay and Etsy, this year, too - with limited success, I must confess.  In fact, for the holiday season, I had to scramble to empty a guest room, which was strewn with the items I am trying to sell, and all of the packing materials and boxes for shipping them!

Best of luck, Lori!  Let us know if it works.  :-)

Russ, you made me laugh out loud!  Payback, indeed.  Your poor kids, though.  Do reconsider - as Ebenezer Scrooge did.

Thomas, your experience is rarer, fortunately.  I can imagine that its lesson was learned by everyone who participated in the huge clean-up effort.

Trisha, your story reveals real courage.  Honestly!  Most of us don't have the guts to let our possessions go, without looking at them - just one more time - to be absolutely certain that we're not "accidently" giving away something really really important.

Thom, what you experienced is definitely not what any of us would wish.  I'm truly sorry for the shock, chaos, financial loss, and sentimental loss that your family suffered when your mother's house burned.  There is a difference between valuables and "stuff."

Bob, Cheryl, Michael, and Donna, best of luck with your respective projects.  Perhaps I'll write another post on the topic in 6 months, or so, and we can all report back on how successful we've been.  I'll stack my accumulation against anybody's!

... Robin

8:30pm • #22
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Lane, I cannot even imagine clearing out 4 or 5 generations' worth of accumulated family furniture and memorabilia!

Thank you for adding that gem to the continuing tale.

... Robin

8:34pm • #23
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I repainted/recarpeted my entire 1st floor this year, and so I cleaned out every closet, every bedroom, and PURGED a ton. It feels so good.

8:35pm • #24
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Congratulations, Erica!  You can relive that good feeling, every time you open a closet door, can't you?

... Robin

9:00pm • #25
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Oh yes, I recently went thru this single-handedly for a customer.  Oh MY GOD, I never worked so hard in all my life.  I agree completely and hope this slower time of year provides me a little bit of time to clean and clear out some myself.

9:09pm • #26
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Great advice here. I have seen some homes that make a buyer wonder if the seller even plans to move as they have so mich stuff jam packed everywhere.

9:19pm • #27
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I've always told my wife there is a six month rule. If you haven't seen it, heard it, used it, or thought of it for six months I'm throwing it away. LOL  It was worth it when we moved 3 months ago. Made the process much easier.

9:56pm • #28
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An, you are definitely a candidate for sainthood!  Hope your own clean-up efforts provide satisfaction.

Roland, what we see as we squire buyers around makes you wonder what advice other REALTORS offer their clients, doesn't it?

Just 6 months, Nathan? You're tough! On the other hand, you have the proof that it's an effective policy.

Thanks, Everyone!

... Robin

10:24pm • #29
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Very true Robin!  I am even setting aside some time over the holidays to continue and declutter my own home - too much stuff builds up over time!

11:41pm • #30
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Thank You Robin.  I've been pondering the value of all my stuff and realize that I could use that mental energy on so many other things!  Out Out Out it goes.

11:49pm • #32
DEC
22
2009
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Definitely important to keep papers, important docs and such in a manageable state -- never know when someone might have to step in and help out.

12:23am • #33
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This is something I've been working on for some time.  In fact, it's been on my list every year as a goal to clean out the clutter in my office.  I'm happy to say I've made some real progress in the past few weeks.  I really am looking forward to the day when it's nearly minimalist.  Unfortunately, I grow attached to things and have a hard time getting rid of them...but I'm getting better.  Progress, not perfection!

1:08am • #34
118,333 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

It is hard to purge but sometimes if you really think about what clutter you have in front of you and ask yourself why you are keeping it...you decide it is time to dump it after all.  To do that and really clean up a space is so relaxing once all the hard work is done. 

2:05am • #35
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I generally try to declutter impersonal objects in my own home (it is painful), BUT, I have a problem over items that recall memories which was what I was getting rid of at this time -- Silly Beanie Babies and even some clothes from years ago (like a Marine Ball gown.)  These items have now departed the Nett household!

I work with a lot of seniors (and am one) and how we live today we tend to keep items that remind us of pleasant things, memories.  I've seen families come in to clear out a property who don't even look at what I knew were treasured by the deceased such as photo albums.  I also understand from the families point of view -- they had to take off from work to deal with the issue, they have no room at their locations for "stuff" and frankly -- just can't deal with the emotions or don't care.  People used to live in the same place more or less from birth to death or at least in a nearby location.  In today's world we are spread all around the country and world.

When my husband and I moved from VA to NC I can still remember my mother saying to me that she saw me more often when I lived overseas for 12 years.  I didn't understand what she meant than but I do now at 68 myself.  I know she has/had saved every card I ever sent her and when my step father currently aged 94 departs I will see all those letters/cards again.  Even if I just read again what I wrote and then throw them away -- it will mean something to me. 

I know it's a hardship for the family or whoever has to clean out what had been a home but those memories were quite often soooo important to those who were living there and I think should be respected.  After all, if it's just a matter of empying the house call on the Salvation Army or many other organizations to basically do it for free.

What's most important is keeping financial, etc info in one place and made aware and accessible to whoever will be in charge when the need arises.

Sue of Robin and Sue

2:26am • #36
Outside Blog

I find that when two singles buy a home together that neither want to get rid of the things that they have two of and end up becoming packrats. Key it if you haven't used it in over a year, you probably won't need it - Through it out or give to someone less fortunate

6:29am • #37
278,556 Points 15 Featured Posts

Last year after a life threatening illness, I came to the conclusion that the more stuff i held onto the more cluttered my psyche was. It is not about materialism that shows people how great you are and defines you, it is about attachments to things that aren't really that important.

7:27am • #38

Robin:

My husband and I recently (October) went through this experience ourselves.  My husband's mother's health had failed to the point she could no longer take care of herself, did not have enough money to go into a retirement home, so we made the decision to move her into our home in Georgia. 

This was no easy process.  First, she didn't want to leave her 20 year old single wide trailer in Pennsylvania where she had spent her entire life.  She was VERY independent and a hoarder.  It took a family intervention and the help of her doctor to help her realize it was time to depend on her children. 

My husband and his brother (who lives in Tennessee) took one week of sorting through mounds of STUFF (over a TON was taken to the local dump and weighed) to even see the floor of her trailer.  She had sticky notes all over the house, did not have any written instructions to what she owed, who she was securing services for (heating, garbage, etc.).  The list went on and on.  To make a long story short, she had only 3 weeks with us in Georgia before she passed away. 

We are still sorting through the last remaining box of things we brought home with us.  You gave good advice everyone should take.  My husband and I are the complete opposites of his mother.  We are always taking opportunities to sort through and discard/donate things we don't use anymore.  Another thing we don't do is purchase more things. 

Rosemarie Heindel
8:54am • #39
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That is a great story since we all know people (including ourselves) who need to clean up their homes for many reasons.  If you are into feng shui at all they do promote that getting rid of clutter is paramount to cleaning up and letting new things come into your consciousness.

9:30am • #40
283,606 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Robin, So true. I tell folks the first step to getting ready to sell is going through your house and purging.  I suggest they make three groupings, what stays, trash and donation pile.  Then I proceed to tell them, why do you want to move junk you don't want to your new place.  Obviously, it's a lot easier if you keep up with this to begin with.  I am trying to do that myself and teach our children this.  It's a great feeling of freedom to get rid of stuff you don't need or use.  All the best, Michelle

12:14pm • #41
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Robin: I used to be an accumulator of stuff. Now my husband and I  are trying to simplify our life and so we regularly take stuff to Goodwill and have yard sales 2x/yr. I can't tell you how good it makes me feel to see space on a shelf or in a closet.

My in-laws lived in the same house for 40 years. When they had to be moved to assisted living, my husband and her sister spent weeks (literally) sorting through stuff - some went to my husband and his sister, some went to Goodwill, and a lot went into a dumpster. Towards the end of the cleanup process, they had to hire a dump truck and a tractor with a big scoop to get rid of the rest.We learned a big lesson from his parents.

As Barbie mentioned, clutter is a big no-no in Feng Shui. It causes all kinds of blockages in our lives and with our health.

 

12:17pm • #42
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Barbara CalwhiteGreat suggestion!! My sister and I had the bulk of the work cleaning out our folk's house after our father died and mother needed a nursing facility.  It took weeks and we still have a few boxes that my sister would love to have gone.

I am going to use the room a month suggestion.  Happy cleaning to everyone in the new year.

 

Barbara Calwhite

12:47pm • #43
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Barbara CalwhiteGreat suggestion!! My sister and I had the bulk of the work cleaning out our folk's house after our father died and mother needed a nursing facility.  It took weeks and we still have a few boxes that my sister would love to have gone.

I am going to use the room a month suggestion.  Happy cleaning to everyone in the new year.

 

Barbara Calwhite

12:48pm • #44
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I lost a loved one a few years ago and had to clear out his life's accumulation.  It actually took me about 3 years to do this and go through everything to do the same thing you did. Give to family, toss or sell, fortunately I had the luxury of time on that. Now I have to look at myself, being in my new house for 8 years, not much has gone out, might be time to purge.

12:48pm • #45
103,826 Points 2 Featured Posts

A friend who went thru a divorce stored her "stuff" until she could get back.  3 yrs later she said she realized she did not need that stuff and had paid storage fees for 3 yrs on stuff she was going to throw away.

I am a hoarder & my hubby is a purger so we argue about what to keep.  Then I have learned what do I need it for?  We don't even look at old pictures of the family very often.

1:47pm • #46
697,664 Points 35 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Robin - I can't stand clutter, so I'm constantly going through my house looking for items our family no longer needs. 

6:38pm • #48
FEB
16
2010

Great Post...When so many Americans are suffering hard times, it's a great time to donate your unwanted items...Don't forget our local pound/animal rescue loves old sheets, blankets and towels.

2:44pm • #49
FEB
17
2010

What a splendid idea, Tara - donate useable household goods!

Many thanks.

Robin Taylor Roth
10:23am • #50

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Robin Taylor Roth

Berkeley Heights, NJ

More about me…

Prudential NJ Properties, and Robin Taylor Roth Enterprises

Address: 23 Baldwin Drive, Murray Hill Farm, Berkeley Heights, NJ, 07922-1744

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