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What's Your Online Etiquette IQ?

How Online Etiquette-Conscious are You?

What's Your Online Etiquette IQ? No, this is not a test! Rather, just a few pointers that you should consider as we roll into 2010 and add more and more of the population to the internet & social media frenzy.

Online Etiquette

The days of beautifully designed card stock, handwritten invitations have taken a backseat to online correspondence, which has become the norm for many Americans. Holiday and birthday cards are sent electronically. Party invites are sent via email with the list of guests who are and are not attending included. Pictures of events are posted online on multiple venues for all to see.

How internet etiquette-conscious are you? Here are just a few tips that should be considered:

When you send an email to multiple recipients who do not know one another, are you listing all recipients in the BCC (blind carbon copy) area of the email rather than the TO or CC areas? I can't tell you how many people send me jokes and announcements that have everyone elses email visible to me--what if I were a 'spamming' sort of person?!
When you send online invitations to events and parties, is the list of everyone who you are inviting visible to all guests? Did you ever see Larry David's 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' episode when a couple of invitees found out that there were undesirable (to them) guests invited to the same party? Neither party wanted to attend because of that! You may be completely naive about undercurrents going on between friends!
Do you think that because it's sent via email that you don't have to plan ahead and send invitations within a reasonable time of the party/event? Don't think that just because you know it's appearing in their inbox today that your guests will have a clear calendar for this weekend! The same 2-3 week time frame should be observed as a handwritten invitation.
Are you Tweeting & texting while you're at the party? For goodness sakes, WHY? You're face-to-face with friends and business associates, why on earth would you be so rude to those around you? It's just like taking a call when you're right in the middle of a conversation with someone--don't you consider that to be rude behavior?

Do you tag people in your photos when you post them to Facebook without asking their permission? I'm okay with it but, everyone is not! Don't assume that your professional friends want photos of them on the beach posted online for the world to see!
Are you making negative comments on blog posts of your peers? Much has been written about this and all I'm going to say is that it's okay to disagree but, a friendly debate is totally different from being downright nasty to your peers. Did you forget that these peers are the exact ones who COULD be referring you business?

With the internet being so much a part of our lives now, we must create a new code of etiquette for the future that follows the same general guidelines as the standards on which we were raised. These are but a few behaviors that we should be very aware of and seriously need to address before our children learn that this behavior is the 'norm.'

Charlotte NC Homes for Sale

(THE best Charlotte home search available - no kidding!)

Debe Maxwell, CRS/Realtor®/Broker
Broker@TheCharlotteScoop.com
Phone (704) 491-3310

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Posted by Debe Maxwell - Search Charlotte Homes for Sale - Charlotte NC Neighborhoods on 12/23/2009 02:01 AM

Comments (66)

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66 Comments on What's Your Online Etiquette IQ?

DEC

2009

Good manners and common sense NEVER go out of style! And I'm afraid there are plenty of people who just don't get it and never will!

But, but, but... . . . one person's Code of Etiquette may not be comfortable for another.

The question is,

Is it good manners to ignore invitations to join someone's page on a social media site????

is it good manners to send out invitations to folks who may not want to engage in ubiquitous social media memberships???

How internet etiquette-conscious are you?

How about just being plain nice. . . today for example I pulled in front of a lady with my truck. .(was either that or spend Christmas at a parking lot in traffic)

She got all flustered and made me think that I just killed her little dog

When I had a chance, I moved to the other lane and she caught up with me at the next red light

I looked at her. . but her shameful face was staring straight out forward

She almost had a coronary a few moments ago

I guess changing lanes was her CPR. .

but the shame. . she wil carry on and on and on . .

I wouldn't like to live inside her skin for 5 minutes !

BE NICE PEOPLE!

Debe,

You know... I am guilty of the texting and tweeting from a party, you have taught me well Master Po Grasshopper is grateful

My, My, My - at 2am in the morning, you get these things out. Debe, do you even sleep?

I agree that most people do not use BCC.

At an Evite party, I do display all the guest invitees. I think I would want to know if I was invited and who was going to be there. It determines whether I'm going or how long I'm staying.

I only tag people whom I find tagging themselves often. You're right, some people care and some people don;t. What I do not like and find not having total coolness is this:

What if I never wanted to show people how I looked when I was 5 (at Kindergarten), or 15 (as a teenager). My friends would have posted those photos up there but unless I tell them to remove it, I just dont think that's right.

Great reminders - especially the tweeting or updating during a party. I recently went to small dinner for my best friend. Her fiance invited 3 other couples to the restaurant. I posted photos of the celebration on FB and another friend who wasn't invited was apparently very upset she wasn't included. Places like Facebook are great to reconnect but be prepared that "friends" are going to be offended now and then as you can't include everyone in everything.

Great post Debe. I'd like to add, make sure you have the right recepient in the address box (have you ever sent e-mail to the wrong person?). Rear your email before you send it, spell checks don't catch everything.

Excellent post Debe- I may have blushed at a few.

Here is the Caveat though. I pride myself on being connected and a lot of my clients do use text. I try to respond quickly, sometimes that may mean being rude at a gathering. I promise to only do it it exeptional cases from here on!

Hi Debe,

What a gret job you did of hitting the highlights for online etiquette! We all need to stop and think about how we are doing in this area.

Debe, I agree especially with the tweeting during real life face to face meetings. I was in a cab once at a ReBar camp with some friends, they were tweeting one another and we were all in the same cab.

I don't get it.

Now nothing wrong with a tweet about where you are or what you are doing but tweeting one another is something I just don't get.

Janna: That is spot-on! What ever happened to The Golden Rule and good old fashioned respect?!

Lenn: Both excellent questions. Ignoring invitations to someone's site is one thing that I feel guilty doing! Isn't THAT ridiculous? I look at the name, sometimes even click on the photo, maybe check the profile to see if I know them--by that time, I've discovered that many of them don't know me, they just want to spam me and now, I'm mad that I've taken the steps to find that out! I'm always afraid of NOT-friending someone back for fear it's a long-lost high school buddy with whom I've lost touch! Hitting the ignore button would then be offensive to THEM! ARRGH! They need a 'criteria' check box to 'friend' others--are you a: friend, family member, college alum, high school class member... :-)

Fernando: I TRY! What a story--and I'm SURE you wouldn't want to be in 'angry' skin!! I agree, it's just that simple--BE NICE!

Paul: I'm SO glad to have helped someone!! Hey, you know, sometimes a group of people at a party will be standing around Tweeting their friends--sort of telling each other what the other party is saying; it makes me think that they no longer know how to carry on a VERBAL dialogue!

Loreena: Yes, I'm still having trouble sleeping with this stupid arm! I refuse to take sleeping medication so, I just do one of my favorite things--stay up and write and work 'til I can't hold my head up any longer! I agree about the photos but, one question to you--when you receive a formal invitation in the mail, you don't know who is in attendance. Why is it important to know now that we're all online? That's half of the fun--hoping so-and-so will be there or wondering who all will be in attendance!

Great tips for online etiquette, seems that as soon as we master one form of "online" presence (email, blogs, texting) another pops up in the form of Tweeting, Facebook, etc.

Cara: Another great point! Now, that is something that we cannot help and you're right, there will be someone offended on occasion. Just like in real life when one wonders why they weren't invited to Susie Q's party when everyone is talking about the party around them at school or work!

Gabe: I wrote a post once about just that--I hit reply to all and meant to only hit reply--I was totally embarrased but, it was too late at that point! I had to write a long letter of apology!! Excellent point!

Ellie: Great point! You know, I wish I had an auto-replier on my text that could let the sender know that I'm with clients and will respond when I'm through with them!

Dorrie: Thanks! Absolutely, we really do need to be on top of this before it gets so far out of hand, we can't stop it!

Missy: You know, that's something that I just don't get either! As I said to another commentor, I often wonder if many social media folks are vocally paralyzed at times! Face-to-face is SO much more fun! As a matter of fact, ignoring my phone because I'm face-to-face with someone has gotten me many a lecture--especially from hubby but, I know that when I'm out with those same folks that complain, they would be offended if I answered my phone too!

Rob: I couldn't agree more--some days I feel like I just can't catch up!!

Please...SPelling and grammEr first. This is way too much to learn in so little time.

Lenn ~ Do unto others.....

Fernando's advice of just being nice along with a little common sense would work well.

ToulaRosebrock,com Hi Debe:

I totally agree with you on every point!

I always bcc every group e-mail that I send.

And as for an invite, e-mail is ok but always follow it up with a hand written one.

Good stuff....Merry Christmas to you!

Randy: Excellent point! My partner sends me an email with misspellings and I just don't GET why she can't hit the spell check button--it's SO easy and it helps make you look alot more intelligent!!

Toula: I love the idea of a 'save the date' email and following up with a handwritten invitation! That puts the warm, personal touch back into your event!

Great points Debe and for the record I still have my beautiful embossed personal stationary at the ready. It is the ONLY proper way to thank someone according to my mother...and she was ALWAYS right! Have a great Christmas1

Hey Dede! Thanks for the friendly reminders! I would say that I am already using most of your 'pointers' in my day to day business, but a couple of them were new to me! All the best in 2010!

Hi Debe~ Some people just don't know any better! Thanks for posting these. Hopefully those that need to knw, will read this.

Dear Ms Manners,

Good points for us all to consider. Now if I could only get my office manager to stop sending emails in all caps.

Debe-

Excellent post. The most egregious violations of online etiquette that I've had the misfortune of witnessing have come by way of misuse of CC vs. BCC, as you mention above.

With regard to "tweeting or texting" while at IRL event, I think by and large this is inappropriate. But I also think that there are rare occasions when this is appropriate, including trying to promote the event.

Hi Debe, great post with very common sense online etiquette ideas. It is, however, fun to try to get someone's phone to go off with a text during their office meeting... :-)

Sarah: That's an excellent point--when I receive a hand-written 'thank you,' it means SO very much. I think alot of us forget that simple touch that truly means alot to others.

Stephen: I tend to collect 'ideas' for blog posts in my day-to-day goings and comings. I had several 'mishaps' with online etiquette and just decided to combine them in a lesson here!

Vickie: Thanks and I think that even those who observe most of the etiquette points may miss one of them and ponder the thought of the consequences of their actions on others--hopefully!

Irene: I don't know about being 'Ms. Manners!' I have done all of the above, thinking it was okay. I've realized that is probably not good behavior so, I stopped. My partner does the all CAPS thing and it drives me NUTS!

Ian: Agreed! I've had the email issues more than any of these 'violations' before too--probably because we've been using email longer than the others!

Lisa: I've been in Rotary meetings and heard the clicking of the keys during a meeting and was SO embarrassed for the speaker that my member-mate was being so rude!

Good Tips, I say that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all.

Debe - great reminders... by the way I loved "Larry David's 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' episode when a couple of invitees found out that there were undesirable (to them) guests invited to the same party?" It was great & so true!

Nice post. Thank you for the refresher course, some of these can be easy to forget in a given moment. Happy Holidays!

Debe, As always excellent advice. Hope you have a very Merry Christmas with at least a little time off.

Great Post, Debe, and so very true, sometimes we have to pull the reins in on ourselves and remember that what we post or email can and will be forwarded and sent to others, don't say it unless you want it repeated!

Debe, thanks for the simple reminders. Its very easy with the speed of electronic communication to dump something out there and run. We need these reminders to stop and think about what we are doing to whom. Have a great holiday.

Thanks, Debe, for all the great reminders. I think I'd add about posting negative comments is that they might come back to bite you. If those comments appear on an outside blog, your name is attached to them, and Google will find it! Maybe you don't care what other ARers think, but your clients might just see it, too, when they Google your name.

Debe - this is an excellent set ot reminders about what seems to be the NEW etiquette. Some folks think that anything goes on-line these days. It's all part of our on-line reputations, whether business OR social.

Have a great holiday!

Jeff

That BCC became my best friend years ago! And I'm with you about texting and taking phone calls while I'm talking to that person. It's the same as when someone talks over you. I HATE that with a passion most of all. That tells me that person doesn't care what I'm talking about.

Great post Debe! I think we should all call you Ms. Manners :) Thanks for the reminder! Have a Happy New Year!

Debe, Great timely post. An etiquette rule I would like to see initiated is to not text and have a conversation with me at the same time. I realize many peope are so good at texting they can do it in their sleep but I don't know which the person is doing mindlessly- the texting or our conversation.

PS (is P.S. out of style??)Debe, I love your graphics. I would love for someone to share how they get the great pictures and cartoons. I have spent hours online and not found anything as neat as those in your post.

Debe, a BIG online etiquette tip is to NOT send HUGE like 5 MB files of silly PowerPoints. This happens to me as a recipient all the time. It is tough being loved LOL.

Debe, great reminders! Even in plain old life, etiquette is key, but especially so online! ;-)

Great reminders. The one about answering the phone is the one I always have trouble with. I'm learning though. Manners aren't exactly hi on the list in the Marine Corps. LOL

Someone referred to this as "Netiquette" and I was fortunate to learn this when I first in business at a small all women office. It was a great experience, almost like "finishing school"!

Respect and manners are always in style!

Debe, all these things are very true. I learn so much every day on the Internet and these are the staples we all should be using.

Hummmmm......good things to remember. I too cant get my arms around texting at a party.....etiquette would be the key.

Debe, Wonderful advice on how to behave and how NOT to. I see people who can't put their cell phones down....even during dinner and wonder what happened to their manners? I wish you a wonderful holiday!

Debe - all good reminders. Here's another one that drives me crazy. If you are forwarding an email, be sure to delete all the previous recipients. Sometimes the email is a forward of a forward of a forward and you can spend tons of time just scrolling down the to actual content. And you can see everyone else's email addresses as you mentioned in your post.

Excellent post! I receive email all the time where the sender doesn't bcc all the recipients. Although it is sometimes interesting for me to see all of the recipients, I'd prefer that they not always be able to see that it was sent to me.

J. David Lampe, Denver Real Estate Agent

Ha ! Good timing and great points as always Big Sis !

I am constantly deleting group emails, then the group replies, then the group replies to the replies ... and so it continues !

Excellent points!

Merry Christmas to you and the family Debe !

Cheers !

Sheldon :o)

Great reminders, Debe. Now you need to write the Official Miss Debe Manners Online Etiquette Guide.

Great points here. Not everyone is a tactful as they should be.

Debe,

How come I did not come with this blog? I am puzzled. because I think the same way. A terrific post, and I am not even about the visual attractiveness, which is superb... as usual.

On your last point about online criticism, that darn Realtor named Anonymous must be one bad dude to get all those posts about the nasty things he does. I wish he would identify himself (or herself) so we know who it is.

All great advice

Gosh Debe, About an hour ago, I tweeted about social media etiquette too. :-D

This is a very important issue and thanks for blogging about it. Again, it goes back to being a professional and having respect for others.

. There is a difference between an email and a spam.

. I've been a victim of spams because of someone using CC instead of BCC. It has gotten bad enough, that I might have to change my email address.

. By losing the privilege of using her phone, my daughter learned the hard lesson of not to texting, while we're having our family time.

I agree with Jane, you need to fill the official Guide spot. What would AR do without you?

Debe, THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. You are SO right!!!!! Just because it isn't "face to face" doesn't mean courtesy doesn't apply!

This is part of why I have you as a Moderator in "Christianity and Real Estate", sis......

You have an excellent spirit of how you do things........ I am continually impressed....

=-)

Being polit and helpful with never go out of style. Unfortunately some people think it has however....

I like to pride myself of being prompt about answering calls and "follow-up is key as well!" Thanks for the great post as usual.

Happy Holidays!

Patricia/Seacoast NH

Debe - This is a terrific list of etiquette tips. I often wonder about people who are busy texting during a face-to-face meeting. Social media sites are really meant to enhance our "real life" friendships, not supplant them.

Oddly, there are people that love me on the internet... and there are people that hate me on the internet... Just like IRL.

Hi Debe!

The comments are very hrlpful and the way you present is educational. You are a talented wpman

Debe, Great tips. I am amazed at how some folks can' t put away a phone or stop texting, even at dinner! Just like my mom used to do, we have dinner at home with the phones off, hats off, no TV and certainly no texting. It is rude! Also, first lesson in IBM marketing class, never disparage the competition, it makes YOU look bad:-) All the best, Michelle

I can completely see why this is a feature post. I didnt know it was while reading it and thought 'this should be featured'. Good information and fun.

DEC

2009

Good blog . . . feature worthy!! I do try to be polite, I do . . .

DEC

2009

Debe ~ Congrats on the feature...looks like you got another gold star for Christmas....and Merry Christmas from me to you!

Debe, Excellent points. I know I've been guilty of not using the BCC every time I should have. That is now a resolution for 2010.

DEC

2009

Some very good points. I don't know if people ever really take the time to consider these. I try but I am not quite perfect..yet!

Great job with this article Debe! There are so many that do not think responsibly when it comes to social media!

DEC

2009

My goodness am I late to this party! I agree with all the points and am guilty of more than one or two. I have been known to text at a party, I have been known to send a group email without using BCC, and I have tagged my nephews in pictures and had them untag themselves because they didn't want to be seen with their dear old Aunt! Happy New Year Debe!!

DEC

2009

Hi Everyone! Thank you so much for your comments! I agree that we really need to be more in-tuned with those around us rather than engrossed in our iPhones and Balckberry phones! I have been guilty of a few of these myself but, am more aware now that I've been ignored by party-goers as they bury their heads in their phones!

Deanne--I don't think so--I see that in emails all of the time!

Jane--Hmm...not a bad idea!!

Susan--You can come to the party ANYtime!

Thanks again all! Happy New Year!

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What's Your Online Etiquette IQ?

How Online Etiquette-Conscious are You?

What's Your Online Etiquette IQ? No, this is not a test! Rather, just a few pointers that you should consider as we roll into 2010 and add more and more of the population to the internet & social media frenzy.

Debe Maxwell, CRS/Realtor®/BrokerBroker@TheCharlotteScoop.comPhone (704) 491-3310

Leave a response…

Debe Maxwell, CRS/Realtor®/Broker
Broker@TheCharlotteScoop.com
Phone (704) 491-3310