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Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion

By
Real Estate Agent with RAND Media Co

I’ve just added a new favorite book to my top ten list: Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini, PhD.
The premise of this book is that in our increasingly complex and pressured world, we often make decisions by falling back on instinctive patterns. Cialdini has identified six categories of these reflexes:

1. Reciprocity – when someone does something for us, we are inclined to want to do something in return.

2. Consistency – we tend to stay within the perimeters of prior decisions or commitments we have made.

3. Social Proof – we are inclined to follow the crowd.

4. Likeability – we make decisions in favor of people we like or feel a bond with.

5. Authority – we bend toward the views and instructions of those who on face value warrant our respect.

6. Scarcity – we want what we can’t have.

The fact is that most of the time, we are right to use the above shortcuts in making choices. When you hear tons of people talking about a great movie, it is likely that you too will enjoy the movie. When you feel connected to a person, you are usually safe in following his or her lead. When a person of authority or presumed respect suggests a course of action, it is most often logical to follow that advice. And so on.
The problem arises when persuaders and marketers manipulate our instincts to induce decisions that are not necessarily in our best interest. Before I read Cialdini’s book, I would have said that does not happen to me very often. I would have said (pre-book) I am a level-headed person who understands the why of Path A over Path B. After reading the book, I am not so sure.

Cialdini’s many examples and studies make a powerful case that the paths we often take are the result of our not having the time, information or energy to assess all factors.
I intend to use future posts to flesh out some of the points in Cialdini’s book.
For now, let me leave you with an excerpt from Cialdini’s concluding chapter:

(F)or the sake of efficiency, we must sometimes retreat from a time-consuming, sophisticated, fully-informed brand of decision-making to a more automatic, primitive, single-featured type of responding. … All this leads to a jarring insight: With the sophisticated mental apparatus we have used to build world eminence as a species, we have created an environment so complex, fast-paced, and information-laden that we must increasingly deal with it in the fashion of the animals we long ago transcended.


Jim Randel is the founder of The Skinny On book series. His latest book, The Skinny on Success: Why Not You? has been endorsed by a wide-range of business executives.

Patricia Aulson
BERKSHIRE HATHAWAY HOME SERVICES Verani Realty NH Real Estate - Exeter, NH
Realtor - Portsmouth NH Homes-Hampton NH Homes

Thanks for the worthwhile post today. I've bookmarked it for future reference.

Patricia/Seacoast NH

Dec 28, 2009 10:34 AM
Nathan Tutas
Tutas Towne Realty, Inc. - Davenport, FL
Your Central Florida Real Estate Expert

This is a very interesting post jim. I took about a half hour just now and tried to think of whether I can see these things in my own decision making process. I was surprised to see how much of those 6 ideas work their way into my decision making. Not that I'm the type to just follow the crowd, but I think if anyone is honest enough with themselves they'll see it as well. Great topic.

Dec 28, 2009 10:49 AM
Aaron Vaughn 830-358-0455
Conifer Builders LLC - Canyon Lake, TX

I know that most people are pawns, or cattle, and like to follow the crowd. But I don't follow other people or trends, I lead them.

Dec 28, 2009 11:10 AM
Jay Beckingham
Christensen Financial Mortgage - Port St Lucie, FL
Seniors ROCK!

i need to go back now and reread the reality post.

Dec 28, 2009 11:11 AM
Frank Castaldini
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Realtor - Homes for Sale in San Francisco

Great recap of this book.  It was recommended to me a while ago.  I'll look for it next time in the book store.

Dec 28, 2009 11:23 AM
Jan Stearns
Jan Stearns, Waterville Valley Realty, Waterville Valley, NH - Waterville Valley, NH
Marketing Director for Waterville Valley Realty

Thanks for the recommendation...will have to check it out and add it to my nightstand pile!

Dec 28, 2009 11:31 AM
Sybil Campbell
Fernandina Beach, FL
Referral Agent Amelia Island Florida

Thanks for the review of the book. It sounds like a great resource.

Dec 28, 2009 11:40 AM
Kimberly Thurm
Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices Chicago - Naperville, IL
Broker / Relocation Consultant ABR, CRS, GRI, SFR

Jim,  Thanks so much for sharing; I am finding I do not have much time to read these days.  I think I am hanging out to much on AR.  :0) 

Dec 28, 2009 12:50 PM
Gail Robinson
William Raveis Real Estate - Southport, CT
CRS, GRI, e-PRO Fairfield County, CT

Hi Jim - I live in your neck of the woods.  I studied Social & Organizational Psychology at Columbia University and after my Ph.D. worked with corporations to bring in experts who trained executives and high potential on decision-making biases and how to overcome them.  As much as I know about decision-making, I still make many decisions based on shortcuts in thinking.  There just aren't enough hours in the day to think through every situation from all perspectives and come to the right decision.  On the big decisions in life, however, I pride myself on being an independent thinker.  Perhaps it is my upbringing or some fluke of genetics, but #3 and #5 are not big factors in my decisions.  Hope we get a chance to meet some time.

Dec 28, 2009 02:29 PM
Nate Secor
Netpro Realty - Newport Beach, CA

the most important word used in your post in my opinion was manipulation.  When we listen and stand for what is best for the client there is no manipulation.  When we believe what we believe and do not faulter to make a commission or a sale, it shows.  Notice there is not necessarily agreement.  Just a stand for what you believe.  A client may want to fire you for standing for what will help them, but most of the time they will agree and you will have a client and a friend for life.  What I am working towards is a book of 100 clients that will provide 100 transactions per year.  I treat every client like I am their trusted advisor, and am interested in their wants and needs, but not their opinion as to how to get there.  that is my job.

Dec 28, 2009 04:13 PM
Wendy Rich-Soto, Realtor/Broker Associate
Keller Williams Realty, LA Harbor - San Pedro, CA
Getting you to your next with a zero failure rate!

Keep on learning!  That is the only way to stay on top of things!  Thank you for your post!

Dec 28, 2009 04:49 PM
Chuck brawn
Westminster, CO

Sounds good, I will look it up.

Dec 28, 2009 05:44 PM
Cheryl Ritchie
RE/MAX Leading Edge www.GoldenResults.com - Huntingtown, MD
Southern Maryland 301-980-7566

That's interesting. Thanks for the post! What other  business books have you enjoyed recently?

Dec 28, 2009 06:20 PM
Joe Pryor
The Virtual Real Estate Team - Oklahoma City, OK
REALTOR® - Oklahoma Investment Properties

No. 5 should be a course for Realtors. Somehow in our listing process or in working with a buyer, we do not establish a sense of authority. When it comes to leading them in decision making, instead we become the follower. It is not so much that we don't lead as much as we give up our aurhority, thinking that this will make us more likeable.

Dec 29, 2009 12:33 AM
Michelle Francis
Tim Francis Realty LLC - Atlanta, GA
Realtor, Buckhead Atlanta Homes for Sale & Lease

Jim,  Wow, sounds like an awesome book.  It's amazing how complex our wold has become!  I am sure we are "persuaded" lots of times every day.   I am off to get this book!  All the best in 2010!  Michelle

Dec 29, 2009 01:29 AM
Jeffrey Howard
Winning Sales Habits - Rancho Santa Fe, CA

Jim,

Cialdini's book was a text book for my influence and persuasion course at Michigan State 25 years ago.  It has certainly stood the test of time.  Have you read his newest book:  "Yes!"?  More great information.

For other ways people make decisions that don't seem rational, I read a book called "Sway" on a recent flight by Brafman that was quite good.

Thanks for the post.  Have a prosperous and happy 2010!

Dec 29, 2009 02:51 AM
Team Honeycutt
Allen Tate - Concord, NC

As I read your post it made me think of another book I read Blink.  It was based on instincts.

Dec 29, 2009 03:15 AM
Jim Randel
RAND Media Co - Westport, CT

Thanks for all the comments and Happy New Year everyone!!!

Jan 04, 2010 01:07 AM
Robin Rogers
Robin Rogers, Silverbridge Realty, San Antonio, Texas - San Antonio, TX
CRS, TRC, MRP - Real Estate Investment Adviser

That is an awesome book, Jim! It's one of my favorites, too.

Happy New Year!

Robin

Jan 04, 2010 03:14 AM
Shari Evans
Better Properties Washington - Port Orchard, WA
Moments Like These

Love this book! It is not about manipulating for me in my line of work but SEEING if the decisions that I make or my client makes is based on "instinct" or "evaluation decision".

Feb 21, 2010 07:17 AM