Ok, so I am always getting on my oldest daughter who is 14 and a freshman in high school about being confident and giving herself credit for how great she is. She drives me crazy at times. She is an amazing athlete, reallly she is. As a freshman she has been able to go against the system and play two varsity sports in the same season. The basketball coach and soccer coach both aren't happy, but she is an asset to both teams. Not only is she a good athlete, but she is in honor classes and just pulled a 4.0 her first semester of high school while playing these two sports.
So, Mo sprained her ankle a couple of weeks ago during a basketball game and missed a couple weeks of practice As a freshman, and someone who lacks confidence at times, she didn't play her game in the West Coast Jamboree we just participated in. Actually, her team struggled A LOT, not just her. Oh and did I mention that her ankle is still hurting and now her knees because of the compensating while she was hurt. Just need to give all the facts. Anyhow, she was definitely struggling during this tournament and instead of her snapping out of it and realizing she was just a little rusty, she lost all her confidence. This is frustrating for me because she has the skills. She is looking for all these answers, "I need private coaching!!!" "I suck!!!" blah blah blah. When the truth is, she just needs confidence. You could, or at least I could, see that she wasn't confident out on the court. She was overthinking and not trusting herself or her abilities. This is ongoing with her.
The really ironic thing is because her team was playing poorly and none of her teammates played consistenly, her coach told the other team's coach to pick our "All Tourney Selection". That coach talked to his team and they all agreed that Mo was their choice. So here's a freshman, at a big tourney, who's still hurt, who is playing poorly, and other people see her skill and heart and ability. You would think this might help with her confidence, but it didn't!!! She didn't feel deserving, she was focused on the negative, and she made excuses as to why they gave it to her. Can I slap her yet???? No, I can't. I want to, but I can't.
The reason I am writing this post is because I think many of us struggle, yes I said us, with confidence. I know I do struggle and I have to stop it. I am extremely confident about certain things. I am confident in working with buyers and sellers, I know my business. I am confident about coaching sports. I am confident about being smart. But, there are many things I am not confident in and I'm not shy letting people know it, so my kids see it, and apparently they are picking up this horrible trait.
So, in reflecting about changes and things I need to work on in 2010, it will be confidence. It will be hard for me, but it has to start with me. Confidence can hold us back in achieving at the level we are capable of. I will also work on helping Mo build her confidence and to give herself credit where credit is due. I will have to do the same. This is going to be a great year!!!
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