Got this in my e-mail from one of my Canadian friends this morning. Being an American-Canadian living in Canada for 6 years, I see the differences & similarities between the U.S. & Canada! This joke could be applied both in the U.S., Canada or any other European country....
Sometime this year, we taxpapers may again receive an Economic Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. I will explain it using the Question & Answer format:
Question: What is an Economic Stimulus payment?
Answer: It is money that a federal government will send to taxpapers.
Question: Where will the government get this money?
Answer: From taxpapers.
Question: So the government is giving me back my own money?
Answer: Only a smidgen!
Question: What is the purpose of this payment?
Answer: The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV thus stimulating the economy.
Question: But isn't that stimulating the economy of China?
Answer: Shut up!
Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Canadian economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China.
If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.
If you purchase a computer, it will go to India.
If you purchase fruit & vegetables, it will go to Mexico, Honduras & Guatemala.
If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan.
If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore...
Instead, keep the money in Canada by:
1) Spending it at yard sales, or
2) Going to ball games, or
3) Spending it on "a girl", or
4) Beer or
5) Tattoos
(These are the only Canadian businesses still operating in Canada.)
Let me get this right: I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed "girl", that I met at a yard sale and drink beer with her?
O, Canada, I stand on guard for thee....
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