HI! Billy Jays here! (The screen fills with me with black, dyed hair and a beard)
Aren't you tired of dealing with that pesky gutter end cap??
I know I am. All it does is cause clogs! And there you are, time after time after time again, up on the ladder, cleaning clog after clog. (The screen shows a middle-aged man, high on his ladder, cleaning huge handfuls of mucky muck from his gutter, disgustedly throwing each to the ground below)
Well, those days are gone!!
Now you won't have to clean a single gutter ever again! That's right!! NEVER CLEAN A GUTTER AGAIN! (The screen shows the same middle-aged man, high on his ladder, imagining how wonderful it would be to never clean a gutter again)
Call now and the trained technicians from Bestway Construction Company will install this beautiful, small gage, plastic gutter and,
GET THIS
without an end cap!
And to make sure it really doesn't clog, they will carefully incline the gutter AWAY from the open end SO YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A CLOG AGAIN! Can I repeat that? YOU WILL NEVER HAVE A CLOG AGAIN!
But that's not all! If you call now, and we have our courteous phone specialists answering even now (the camera shows a smiling phone cutie happily conversing with a nodding, and obviously excited purchaser), we will throw in two more things. What you say, there is more?
YES, THERE IS MORE!! Bestway Construction will carefully tuck your high-voltage electric cable UNDER the gutter. Now you will no longer arrive home and pull into your driveway only to look up to see this ugly electric cable on the front of your house. It will disappear like MAGIC!! BEHIND YOUR GUTTER!!
(The voice of an excited listener says, "But you said TWO things Billy Jays! What's the other one?")
Is that what you're asking now? Well ask no further!!
Call now and Bestway Construction will install a second small-gage, plastic gutter in the rear of your house! And it, too, will incline so very little water will make it to the downspout and clog things up!! That's the best way possible!!
THAT'S RIGHT! TWO GUTTERS, TWOOOO GUTTERS, FOR THE PRICE OF ONE, AND BOTH, YOU HEARD ME RIGHT, BOTH WILL BE INSTALLED WITHOUT THAT PESKY END CAP!!
So, call now! We've hired extra phone babes, um, specialists to handle all the extra calls for this one.
THEY ARE STANDING BY!! (The camera pans to a gymnasium full of tables and smiling phone operators)
Imagine how proud you will be to tell your neighbors that you, you smart guy you, will never be up on that ladder again! And, just imagine how jealous they will be knowing that! (A smiling buyer fills the screen, looking up to the left imagining how jealous his neighbors really, really will be)
SO CALL NOW! OPERATORS ARE STANDING BY! (A digital clock on the side is counting down from 2 minutes, and the toll-free phone number is hugely displayed and blinking)
Disclaimer: (The guy speaking now is the one who can talk really, really fast) Billy Jays is not responsible for any work performed by Bestway Construction, the quality of materials used, the time frame in which the work is completed, if it is completed, any permits, licenses, or legal obligations in any way. Check with your local jurisdictions before beginning any work, your local HOA associations, your tax adviser, and especially your insurance agent because Bestway Construction does not carry any form of liability or medical insurance. Any accidents or injuries will be the sole responsibility of the party purchasing any of our products. No gutters will be installed higher than 20 feet, so good luck if you have a high roof. All credit cards accepted. Patents pending, and all rights reserved. Good luck and have a great day...
My recommendation: Well, you know my recommendation.
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