Some people are born listeners. Most of us aren't. However, that's not fatal because this is a skill that can be learned. There are the 5 Steps to Good Listening and today we'll start with #1.
1. Pay Attention: I can almost hear you saying "Duh!" Of course you have to pay attention if you want to listen. If that is so obvious, why is it that so few of us do it?
Multi tasking has been much maligned of late, and it's going to take another hit here. Most of us multi task. Even when we are engaged in a conversation or interview that is theoretically important, we find ourselves doing something else. You might be answering email while talking on the phone, reading the paper while talking to your partner, driving while talking to your kids (ok, I get that) or any number of other activities.
We all know that communication's smallest element is the actual words used. Facial expression, nuance, tone, body language all go into the meaning of what someone says. Multi tasking makes it difficult to do more than register the words.
You know how it goes. The person you are talking with suddenly says, "You haven't heard a thing I've said!" And you reply, "Yes, I have," and you repeat it word for word. Somehow that rarely molifies the other person because they know you haven't really heard them in a meaningful way.
So when you are talking with a buyer or seller, let alone your loved ones, put down the paper, turn away from the computer, stop your fidgeting and actually pay attention to the words, the tone, the inflection, the expression, the body language.
Tomorrow: #2. Clarification
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