Avoid Later Blame
Sign up for the Chantilly Highlands Dolphins Swim Team in April!
The Answerman
Ted: Whenever I attempt to make helpful suggestions to my children as to how to
improve one of their skill sets or behavior patterns, somehow it always turns out that their shortcomings are my fault. This happens with my spouse too.
Answerman: Give me an example.
Ted: Well, I asked my daughter, politely, if she would clean up her room, she responded that it would be perfectly clean all the time, if I did not insist that she attend school. When I mentioned to my wife that her mood should be adjusted to a more gentle, quiet, co-operative mode of being, she responded that if I provided her with servants, a personal shopper, live in chef and laundress, her mood would be one that I would definitely find acceptable. The short comings of this world seem to have me as their source.
Answerman: You must still be young, Ted. Basically, this is part of being a man that no one ever tells you about. If they did, there would be no marriage, no children and the human race would shortly be holding very small, short swim meets.
Ted: Is there nothing I can do?
Answerman: Yes Ted there is hope. You must take pre-emptive action. In 20 years when someone makes fun of your son Teddy’s splashy, go nowhere, grunting swim stroke at the pool of the Acapulco Princess during a marketing convention, you do not want him to be able to say, “My parents were too pathetic, short sighted, and self centered to make sure that I developed a smooth, elegant, strong, safe, swimming style by signing me up for the Chantilly Highland’s Summer Swim Team.”
Ted: No I certainly don’t want to be blamed for that. What can I do...and why are you writing this when it's snowing and sign up is not intil April?
Answerman: Ted you must sign your son up for the Dolphin’s swim team. I'm writing now, so that there is time for you to plan...also Teddy must be able to at least swim one length of the pool on his back and one on his belly, in order to be on the team....if he can't... get him over to the Cub Run REC Center pool, the Reston YMCA, or Herndon Community center for some lessons. The Dolphin's coaches will take him forward from there.
Check the Dolphins 
website in a few weeks, for the correct registration times and go to the neighborhood Community Center and register this April...it's very inexpensive.
You can learn more at the swim team website: http://www.chdolphins.net , there will also be a registration form there that you can fill out in advance.
You can also watch this space for the Answerman's advice for new swim team parents. He will attempt to answer your questions regarding the philosophical underpinnings of the Aquatic Ethic, psychological insight into human interaction poolside, and other deep analysis of the human condition as well as the best things to eat at the snack bar during swim meets held at the Franklin Farm pool.
Doris: I have been going to your swim blog in the hopes of getting the daily guidance I need, and you haven’t updated that sorry thing since last summer.
Answerman: Truth, beauty, and the Answerman’s comments are not bound by time, Doris.
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Steve...
I think that I got the message ... and I don't even know where the Aculpulco Princess' Pool is!