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 Finger PointingAfter reading  numerous posts & publications over the past two years--real estate agents blaming lenders, politicians blaming everyone, lenders blaming the government and real estate agents...blah blah blah!  I'm not one for stirring the pot and I'm not trying to here but, I have to say that I've been becoming more and more agitated with complacency - especially lately - and the blame game that we continue to play.  It seems that few Americans see what is really going on in America now because everyone is so busy blaming one another for what's wrong in the US- specifically, what's wrong in our business.



 

The American Dream

 



I honestly never agreed with the philosophy that everyone is ENTITLED to the American Dream, as was mandated by our President back in the 90's.
  I'm a bit old fashioned so, even during the 'hay day,' my clients were strongly encouraged to save in order to make a 20% down payment before purchasing their first or second home--after that, most buyers know they need the 20% and generally have plenty of profit after a sale or two--at least back then they did!  (And now, I'm sometimes leaning toward putting less cash down in some circumstances but, that's a whole other post)!

 


Buyers
review finances with their lender, then with me.  Perhaps it's the 'mom' or the 'nurse' in me but, my motto, which all of my clients will tell you I preach to them is, I want you to live IN your house not FOR your house!  I want them to enjoy vacations and luxuries in life that otherwise cannot be enjoyed if they are over-extended with their mortgage.  I don't take ANY blame for what happened but, I AM paying the price, just as every other agent in the US is.  However, I am surviving and still preaching similar financial strategies to my clients.

 

 

No More BlameMy frustration lies in hearing the repeated accusation, "It's not our fault, it's YOURS!"  Here's a novel idea--why not put all of that negative energy that you're using to blame one another, into something positive?  We can't go back and change any of this; all we can do is focus on something more positive--turning this around and doing everything that we can possibly do to educate the consumer so that this never happens again (in our generation or any that follow)! 

Lay off of the blame game and focus on strategies to overcome the challenges that we face in our business.  The worst could be yet to come if we don't.

 

 

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Debe Maxwell, CRS/Realtor®/Broker
Broker@TheCharlotteScoop.com
Phone (704) 491-3310

     

  
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Disclosure of material contained within.

 
This post has been included in North Carolina Real Estate News Mecklenburg County, NC Real Estate News Charlotte, NC Real Estate News
Post is included in group: Around The Water Cooler
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Post is included in group: Diary of a Realtor
Post is included in group: POSITIVE ATTITUDE for the Weary Soul

45 Comments on The Blame Game Continues...

FEB
08
2010

Thanks for posting.  I always learn a lot of good information from Active Rain blogs.  Best Regards,

8:49am • #1
267,058 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

wow, great info..... We are all into blaming people for issues, but we all need to step up...

8:50am • #2
376,903 Points 85 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe, great piece.  I agree that playing the blame game is way too yesterday.  It happened.  Now, let's move forward and figure out a better future.  And, for the record, I agree with you!

9:00am • #4
193,235 Points

Debe, blaming anyone gets us nowhere.  It happened, let's move on.

9:00am • #5
406,050 Points 34 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Wow...you must be reading my mind! Your statement, " I want you to live IN your house not FOR your house!" almost mirrors a similar warning I give all of my buyers to be able to live a great life and not be saddled with a huge house payment! I see houses all the time that are ego driven, beautiful house, excellent neighborhood and no furniture...You're right too abbot getting away from all the negative energy, it just feeds on itself and gets bigger as people continue to fuel it!

 

See you in Dallas!

9:04am • #6
325,709 Points 3 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe - 100% agreed!!! Pointing fingers and playing the blame game is a fast track to getting stuck in the problem instead of proactively working (cooperatively) toward a solution, whether it's our industry in general or in the midst of a transaction.  Well written as always :)

9:08am • #7
285,140 Points 11 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe,

Looking back can certainly teach lessons...but the blame game is such negative energy....we need to put that energy into changes....

9:10am • #8
1,008,046 Points 208 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Bob:  You don't HAVE to agree with me but, I can't imagine what blaming one another is accomplishing!!  ;-)

Jeff:  Like the spilled milk--who cares who spilled it, let's just get it cleaned up before someone slips in it! 

Russell:  Thanks--funny but, everytime I tell my clients that, they manage to repeat it at some time--once was at Closing and the attorney said I needed to trademark that phrase!  And, okay, WOOHOO!  I am so thrilled that you're goint to Dallas!  It should be a great event and I just cannot wait!

Diane:  Well, thank you!  No one ever got anywhere blaming something on someone else--proactive solution-based cooperation IS imperative--especially in this case and we do need to stand united as I think there's alot more coming down the pike at us!  Hold ON!

Lori:  Absolutely!  Those lessons are invaluable in life but, learn from it and MOVE ON!  We have so much more productive work that can be done, don't we?!

9:42am • #9
519,451 Points 43 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Great stuff Debe, wish I could reblog, I am with you all the way, why does everybody feel they are entitled to everything. Go out and work for it like I did, I refuse to feel guilty because I worked hard and long to have the life I have. You go girl...

9:55am • #10
405,763 Points 2 Featured Posts Outside Blog

I will second your post debe. Too much finger pointing and not enough thinking how do we get out of this mess.

10:40am • #11
509,750 Points 70 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Yikes !!!

Of course you are correct, and many buyers have continued to 'expect' the American Dream, just because they have decided they are owed it !

Negativity is such a life killer.

Cheers Debe !!

Sheldon :o)

10:54am • #12

Debe...great reminder that blaming will get you nowhere, just ask my boys who continue to think blaming their sister will get them off the hook for whatever it is they did or didn't do. We all contributed in some way, as this is our country. So let's all contribute to the solution.

11:14am • #13
360,811 Points

So true Debe.  I believe that we shouldn't blame, we should find a way to get around the obsticle and move on down the road, whether professional or personal it is all the same

11:18am • #14
769,069 Points 60 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I don't know if you can hear that sound. But it's the sound of applause coming from me in my office!

I can't even add anything to debate/ enhance/ elaborate on this post.

You've covered it all.

Great post Debe!

11:22am • #15
317,970 Points 32 Featured Posts Outside Blog

You know that I agree with you in all you have said here Debe.  We can point fingers all day but we need to accept that each of us needs to look out for our clients bottom line.  It is sometimes easy to forget in the excitement of the moment that the best results are results that get someone in a home they can afford and can stay in

11:33am • #16
382,526 Points 47 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe- I am with you 1000 percent. I hate the blame game that so many play. Its always someone elses fault that life is like it is. Ugh. Only when we take responsibility for our own lives does life get better and brighter. Blame is a waste of time and energy.

12:03pm • #17
451,638 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp

Debe...i think you bring a refreshing voice of honesty to the conversation about the times in which we live...This message applies to almost everything, including those who profess a life of faith...Cherise

12:31pm • #19
283,981 Points 5 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe, 

Yes, we are where we are, let's focus on a solution to get better, verses finger pointing.  I agree wholeheartedly.  

Also, buy within your means and enjoy life folks!

All the best, Michelle

1:36pm • #20
310,174 Points 10 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router

Debe ---- the first thought I had in reading your post was I just want to say "Amen" -- now, I know that some Active Rainers say that this would be mixing religion with business, but so be it -- you have done an excellent job of saying it like it is -- so, "Amen " BTW, I also think this post would be great for the public.

                                                                                   

4:26pm • #21
422,778 Points 20 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Called Shot Master

Hi Debe, you have a great way of putting a positive spin on things, and of course you are right.  It doesn't do us any good to blame anyone, it won't change anything. Going forward and focusing on the future rather than the past is what will bring about the necessary change we seek.

8:03pm • #22
215,598 Points 12 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe,

Your suggestion really takes a lot of fun out of things. It's just a time honored situation to blame somebody else for whatever issues we experience. I use to blame my brother, and he blamed me for things broken or rules infractions around the house. Presidents blame Congress, especially the other party, and Congress blames the President for doing stupid things. Conservatives blame Liberals, and Liberals blame Conservatives for all manner of ill-thought out ideas. Athesists blame those with religious beliefs, and those with religious beliefs blame non-believers for the decline in standards of decency.

I'll be watching to see how this turns out. It's going to be a challenge.

9:17pm • #23
1,051,539 Points 17 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Hello Debe and I really like the positive attitude and yes people always blame, blame, blame including VB! I just want my Country back and I don't want it run by a bunch of Attorneys, their destroying this Country!

VB ;o)

11:21pm • #24
335,636 Points 14 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

SOOO True. Sheldon just wrote a post about 'pointing fingers' because his closing was delayed and delayed and delayed and... Its always easier to point a finger than to look at yourself. Its sad, but thats also why people don't trust other people.

11:47pm • #25
FEB
09
2010
562,567 Points 54 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I think it is all a vicious cycle.  Once one person starts the blame game is just snowballs from that and the cause and/or solution is lost.  If we all took responsibility for our own actions think how smoothly things would go.  If something goes wrong we would say "oh I wish I had done something different", and the next person might acknowledge that they made a mistake and rectify it instead of always being on the defensive.  Well put, Debe.

12:08am • #26
806,118 Points 27 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Hi Debe,

Applause..applause..the applause coming your way should be deafening!! You have put it just like it is..more people are playing the blame game and pointing fingers. You are right not everyone is meant to own a home..it is not for everyone. Thanks for a great post!

6:04am • #27
976,219 Points 17 Featured Posts Hit Router Called Shot Master

It's not just the blame game, but it's every one else's fault, not mine.

6:26am • #28
1,157,487 Points 117 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe-couldn't agree more.  When we spend more time telling positive news about our local markets and our transactions it puts all of us in a better light.  As an industry we have an image problem and the only way to correct it is to stop the negative spin.  I for one in tired of agents continuing to blame appraisers for tanking deals.  I had posted yesterday about an appraiser who I think went the extra mile to get a deal to settlement.

6:27am • #29
131,798 Points 3 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe, you always write good, solid thought provoking posts. I am sick and tired of the blame game too - let's get back on a good track!

Have a great day, Betsy

6:40am • #30
478,850 Points 65 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

you said "my motto, which all of my clients will tell you I preach to them is, I want you to live IN your house not FOR your house!'

I sing the same song time and time again.  I tell buyers that  "yes I know you qualify for $XXXX amount of dollars, but your lender doesn't take into account how many times a week your family enjoys eating out.  Or how you like to take nice vacations twice a year, etc."  Thanks for this post Debe

3:33pm • #31
837,453 Points 163 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe - Hear!  Hear!  I couldn't agree more.  I am really looking forward to meeting you next week.  :)

6:52pm • #32
FEB
11
2010
207,584 Points 3 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe,

Love your posts.  It seems that so much energy is wasted on blame when we could be using it positively to make a difference- just like you do in Active Rain!

1:42pm • #33
1,481,308 Points 276 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe, you so hit it on the nose with the idea of living in, and not for, your house.  Great post.

4:49pm • #34
1,179,587 Points 133 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Thank you for saying this Debe!  I don't say it because the mindset here is noxious.  I could be mobbed.  It's everyone's fault, the bank swindled me.  When in reality, it is a game of strategic default.

7:47pm • #35
FEB
12
2010
200,212 Points 6 Featured Posts Outside Blog

Ahh the incredible waste of time and resources for nothing. I dunno, but, to me, learn it, don't duplicate it, then forget it and move on. Strategies, YES, that is where it (what ever it is for you) is at. Adapt and, well, you know....

6:33pm • #36
146,061 Points 2 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe - I'm all for putting on my big girl panties and looking forward....and that's exactly what I've done.....but here's what worries me: it's not the people putting on their big boy and big girl panties and moving forward that we have to worry about....

 

It's about the institutions who got us into this mess...and if things don't change we're going to be right back here again.

 

We're blessed we were able to dust ourselves off and start again....but so many people haven't been blessed that way....

 

That's who I can't help thinking about every time I go into one of these homes where blankets and school books have been left behind.

 

 

9:07pm • #37
FEB
15
2010
687,902 Points 83 Featured Posts Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

I agree with you; you live in the house you can comfortably afford.  What bothers me about the government is that no one, and I mean NO ONE is doing anything for us.  Every homeowner across the board - rich, middle income, etc., no matter what political stripe have ALL LOST value in their property.  My 'set aside' was homes I iinvested in for my retirement.  I am unmarried, and I have no family.  What I have earned and invested in has dropped significantly, and I'm very fearful of my future.  I am it when it comes to taking care of me!  I have always worked hard, and been a single mom, never got a bloody dime in child support.  I worked!  And now, I face a lot of challenges (on top of my femur being fractured).  I see nothing substanitive to help people who are in tough times.  AND . . . the American people seem so complacent about it all!  As if foreclosure, short sales, losing equity is normal!?!?!  While the stock market rallies, and the banks are bailed out.  I just don't get it.  Why are we so willing to bend over backward and bark like dogs?!?

12:29am • #38
451,458 Points 2 Featured Posts

What we are FOR strengthens us - what we are against weakens. Getting stuck, or residing inertia does not help and that's what blame does - freeze frames a situation. The only constant is change and whatever decision is made and carried out with be righted by the principles of a greater consiciousness.

6:31am • #39
483,220 Points 1 Featured Post Localism Sponsor Outside Blog

Hi Debe,  Wow, you must feel better after that !   Get past the negative energy, negative people , negative news coverage and onto doing what we do best !

9:39am • #40
550,841 Points 22 Featured Posts Outside Blog Called Shot Master

Excellent advice with good points. No solutions, just alot of finger pointing. Still some problems can't be solved, solved quickly or efficiently.

10:06am • #41
331,864 Points 8 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Debe,

Thanks for reminding us that this house of cards is about to crumble.  Calling all the Smart People in this country! Please step forward with the solution to our current crisis.  In the future, we need to start paying attention to who we put in charge. 

2:26pm • #42
577,905 Points 15 Featured Posts Localism Sponsor Outside Blog Hit Router Attended Rain Camp Called Shot Master

Great advice, Debe, but unfortunately, we can never truly get away from it.

It's kinda hard wired into our collective psyche as a species. Remember, it was Adam who started the blame game...;-)

11:08pm • #43
FEB
16
2010
302,567 Points 4 Featured Posts Attended Rain Camp

Debe - Great post. I don't understand why it is so important to find a person to place the blame on.  We need just to move forward - I so agree.

1:40pm • #44
FEB
17
2010
108,068 Points Called Shot Master

Debe - You are so right. We can not do anything about what has already happened. Worrying about the past will not change it. We just have to learn from the mistakes and move on.

10:46pm • #45

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