You have something to say, some timely tidbit to impart, but don’t relish the specter of an ensuing dialogue. You’re not interested in the entanglements of conversation, what with the awkward pauses, opinions other than your own and … gulp … small talk. Too much commitment. What you want is a one line fling.
<<Tell them 256k firm>>
A one-way communiqué is a powerful thing. Authoritarian in nature, the modern day smoke signal of the text message is the chain of command envy of parents and military command alike. Raw, unladen directive. Dig it.
<<258K. No home warranty>>
Who needs a tete a tete when a simple tete will do? Time is saved, insubordinance averted and miscommunications only cropping up when you fat finger the occasional key.
<<257KK an homed warranty!>>
This really cuts to the quick as to why agents are necessary middle (wo)men in a transaction. To take (and translate) such directives and finesse a meeting of the minds with someone of antagonistic purpose. While we rightly prattle on about the years of experience and know-how that we bring to the bargaining table, our basic service is to take careful aim and coax out of the other party the terms that our clients shoot from their respective hips.
<<Ill do 257 but earnest money non-ref.>>
Haggling is easy when you don’t have to personally make the proposals. No matter how outlandish a demand or ludicrous a price, the client never has to handle the delicate delivery of said offer. Without the interpersonal drama inherent in a vigorous and ongoing negotiation, the principals are loosed to think only in terms of their own best interests. The precise moment people sit down with their actual counterparts to talk turkey is when many start conceding too much. An odd quirk of we humans is a tendency to sabotage long-term interests in the name of getting along, no matter how fleeting the temporal relationship.
<<hmm … I’ll make ½ the earnest hard after inspect>>
My job is to be friendly with the other agent so that you don’t have to be friends with the other party. Aside from my counsel, the only thing driving your ship is the pursuit of the right property at the best possible terms. Cold, clinical and ruthlessly ambitious in your demands, let me worry about how to peddle it to the other side. Getting what you want without having to directly engage your counterpart in transactional Twister is both a financial and emotional boon. Leading your own troops in battle is noble, but few field generals live to meet their grandchildren. Put your feet up, send in the orders and let your foot soldier bring back the scalp you covet while you bounce that bundle of joy on your good knee. When personalities get out of the way of the terms, positive things tend to happen.
<<Sold!!!>>
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About the author:
Paul Slaybaugh is currently working on installing smartphone technology, capable of receiving and obeying SMS messages, within the cerebral cortices of his children. The prototype has an auto-responder set to "Because I said so" for every articulation of the word "why." Results, thus far, are ... mixed.
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