Great stories Bill. Thanks. People can have the most interesting approaches sometimes.

Reading about these unusual, Crazy, stories.  A book that was published just last year is full of stories like this.  Its called ALL IN A DAY'S WORK FOR REAL ESTATE AGENTS by TC McClenning.

Great stories.  Every time something crazy happens in my business, I say I should write a book.  I think we all could.  I'll have to check out the one by McClenning.

Priceless! Great stories! We are blessed to be in a career that keeps us on our toes. Clients think we are being nosy ~ NOT ~ just making sure you exist. Have a great Valentines Day! Thanks for the laugh!

Wow. Love hearing these stories. Glad that I'm not telling them though...

All In A Day's Work for Real Estate Agents by TC McClenning is collecting stories for another edition I hear. You should definitely submit your stories for the next edition.  http://www.worklikeadogbooks.com/

Bill,  Great laugh on Valentine's Day!  After 20 years in real estate I have dozens of hilarious stories too. In my opinion the human factor in real estate is the most important factor and that's what I love about this business. Every transaction is so different and depends totally on the personalities involved. Don't you sometimes feel like a psychologist and not a Realtor?  Hope you blog some more about this topic. We really enjoyed it.

Carol Oldham-KELLER WILLIAMS NASHVILLE-www.Homebasenashville.com

What is so scary is that I can top those stories and one of them is not even publishable. :)

Very funny way to start my day.  People never cease to amaze me.  I have a couple of funny ones, too, but they weren't that funny when they happened.    Thanks for sharing yours.

Bill, Great stories.  It never ceases to amaze me what people will do in the pursuit of a financial transaction.  This reminds me of some other shocking events I have run into at closing.  Thanks for a good laugh!

Too Funny!  "Buyers (and sellers) are liars is true once again!

Great humorous post--and all I can add is just when you think you  have seen it all, they surprise you--again!

Sooo funny.  The last one was priceless.  Goes to show the truth finds a way to come out - if you ask the right questions.....or take the right photo! 

Thanks for the Valentine entertainment;We all need a good laugh!

Hysterical! It is amazing the things people do!

Good Lord! I thought clients pooping in people's yards & vomiting in bank parking lots, or leaving the windows down during the monsoon season on my brand new car & filling it with water were stories, but nothing as good as the bosses car in the driveway...keep the great stories coming!

My dad recalls a similar story- except that Mrs. Buyer apparently didn't disclose her previous marriage to Mr. Buyer until it came up on the 'alias' sheet for them to sign. Mr. Buyer got up and walked out, and they never closed...

Hard to imagine that kind of scenario, but they happen all the time!

Great Post...there's nothing better than "Reality" Real Estate!

A transaction that WAS NOT MINE, However, this was ( several years ago) written up in the Miami (FL) business paper.

Mr. Jones ( I forgot the names) was married to a Sandra R. Jones.  They owned investment property together.

they had a bitter divorce, and could not agree on the values of the proeprties, nor anything else.  Now, these investment prroperties WERE RENTED, and throwing off good money.  Ad Mr. & Mrs. Jones had grown to hate each other.

The judge ruled, since they each owned half, when they decided to sell, they would each get half.  They agreed.

Mr. Jones, after the divorce, married a woman, named  SANDRA, with the middle initial R. Mr. Jones and his new wife then lsited and received an offer on the propefty.  mr. ( and the NEW Mrs. Jones) showed up at the closing, with a copy of the judges rder- that each shuld get 1/2 the proceeds.

The funds were dispersed that way.

Law suits followed.   I lost touch with what happened afterwards.  But, the closing agent DID distribute half the funds to A PERSON WITH THE (LEGAL) NAME OF THE PERSON IN THE JUDGE'S   ORDER.

Oh boy--and I thought I was unique! Back in the early 90's...I had a 'Mr. Smith Sr" sell his house and at closing (quite by accident) the name the seller was signing on the docs was 'Mr Smith JR."  This young man had SOLD his dads's house while daddy was wintering in Florida. If he hadn't made the mistake of signing his REAL name, the buyer's would have moved in and thought they'd bought a house!! You really have to love the ingenuity of your loved ones...........

This happened to me when I was first licensed, around 1980 or 81.  A man called about an ad in the paper, on a specific home.

He said that he was the Reverend Smith, and that he and Mrs. Smith that night.

We met, and the Reverend Smith told me that eh was a part time minister; the rest of the time he worked for the phone co., and that he missed being All American in college by a little bit, but made all-state 3 years running.  (I might add that Rev. Smith was about 6'6', and 290 pounds of solid muscle).

I showed them the house, and he  (and mrs. Smith) liked it, especially the extra large master bedroom.  They then asked, after we left, if they could come back the enxt night, with someone else.  I made the arrangements, and the next night, there was Rev. smith, Mrs Smith and  MRS. SMITH.

Rev Smith told me, that his church allows ministers to have up to three (or was it 4) wives, but he felt that two is plenty.  He needed an extra large bedroom, because they all stayed/slept in the same room.  And he was buying VA, with his wife's income (wife 1) (although he could have qualified on his own), but he wanted both his wives on the deed/title with him.

This deal did close.

Terrific Stories, Bill.  There must be something in that Omaha water! 

Too funny!  I love the one with the way-back-when MLS books.  How did you ever find these?

Two comments

and I apologize for spelling errors- my keyboard sticks.

The email from the Miami paper about Mr. Jones and the second wife with the same first name and middle initial.

The email about the Rev Smith with the two wives.

Were Mine.  I forgot to put my name at the top.

I also sent in another one, about a Miami scam- but I do not see it.

With all the blizzards we've had in Maryland over the past 8-9 days, we're all just able to get out and get back to work, and these funny stories were a great lift!  It also make me feel better to know I'm not the only one that knows of these kind of situations! Been doing this over 30 years and the questions we need to ask clients and customers and the documentation we need to ask for... the list just keeps growing and these stores are why!!!  These stories are actually great examples to show clients that complain about all the documentation they need to provide!!

Some years ago, I sold an reo property that ahd been around for a long time, to a client of mine, in a cash deal.  The regional fix it man for the lender was impressed (it had been for sale with "top agents" for about two years- and neevr an offer; i sold it after the 4 or so listing expired).  Anyhow, Mr. Fix It called me early (I MEAN EARLY LIKE 6:30 AM) and asked if I would like to make $X hundred for attending a closing.  I said yes.

The property ws being foreclosed upon by Mr. Fix It's firm, against a Mr. Johnson ( names chnged-I don't recall them, anyhow).  A title co. called Mr. Fix It at 5 or 5:30 the night before, that Mr. Johnson as selling the house to Mr. Robertson, and there was enough money to pay everyone off, and the buyer and selelr wanted to close at the enxt morning.  There were no real estate agents or brokers involved.  Mr. Robertson had new financing in place, and Mr. Johnson (the seller) was holding escrow.  Could Mr. Fix It bring the satisfaction, and was the payoff $Z.

Mr. Fix It confirmed the payoff.  The deal 9with me)-I turnover the satisfaction AFTER I GET, AND ONLY AFTER I GET A CASHIER''S CHECK OR A CERTIFIED CHECK, AN ESCROW ACCOUNT CHECK FROM THE TITLE CO. WAS NOT AN OPTION.

I agreed- the closing was in the next county.  I picked up the satisfaction; and the payoff figures, and went to the closing.

Entering the title co. office, there was a very obese man reading a foregin language newspape.  I rang for a receptionist, and said I represent The Mortgage Co., and had the satisfaction-- which I showed her, from a distance.  She (the receptionist-who was also the closing agent, as I discovered) said that she thought the man reding the paper was there for the closing.  She asked, "are you here for the Hohnson/Robertson closing?".  he replied, "Yes".  She asked, are you Johnson or Robertson, and he again said "Yes".  he walked up to the woman, and reaching into 1 pocket, produced a driver's lcinese and Social Security card in the name of Johnsom, and then into another pocket, another wallet, and a driver's lcinese in the name of Robertson, a Social Security card in that name, etc.  (Different first names and addresses, incidentally).

the woman, without batting a (false) eyelash invited the two of us in to the closing rom, nd proceeded to read the HUD 1 to first the 'seller", then the "buyer", calling the peron by the right name, and going over each item.  I was aksed to witnes something- I refused.  She called in someone, (in a foregiin language-which I did not and do not speak) and that person signed without hesitation; the papers were notarized.

I got the cashier's check, for the right amount, gave the closing agent the satisfaction- nd asked for and received a receipt for it.  (They played spite, made me give them a receipt for a check made out to a mortgage co., whwich I gave). and left.  Saw mr. Fix It, gave him the money, and told him about the closing.  he, to p ut it mildly, freaked out  He paid me, and for a few years (until the firm merged and Mr. Fix It retired), I was their reo broker for two counties. 

(For several years afterwards, mr. Fix It and I exchanged cards and phone calls, and always talked about the closing-one man beig the buyer and selelr under different names- and a closing agent closing it).

Only (I think) in Miami, FL.

Good Times!

For someone!

Thanks to all for the great stories, I have a great laugh.

here is another one...  Hey Realtors,  dont ask for anything of value from your loan officer!

Its illegal!

Boy!  I cant tell you how many Realtors EXPECT to receive compensation of some sort for a mortgage contact

Upon listing a home the husband informed me that he would be leaving town to work and the wife would stay until it sold. After finding a buyer and being near close of escrow I agreed to do a walk through for the out of town buyer. This tells you it was long ago as I would not do that on a bet now days. Anyway As I knocked on the screen door (the inside door was open) I could see in and the master bedroom door was closed. Soon the master bedroom door opened and out came the still sleepy wife in a robe or PJ's I forget. She told me to proceed with the inspection but wait till last to do the master. As I went through my check list, a man I did not know came out of the same bedroom. I just continued as if nothing was out of the ordinary, Again as I continued my check list a woman I did not know came out of the same room. Now it was getting more difficult but I managed to complete my inspection and left pretending like I had not noticed, while the three sat drinking coffee at the kitchen table. Many months later I received a call from the husband who informed me he was divorcing and wanted some dirt on the wife. I must be getting old because all of the sudden my memory failed me! Some times it doesn't pay to get involved I was sure this had to be one of those times. 

I now have really good reasons when I explain to my clients why they need to have their photo ID with them at closing. 

Your stories are hysterical!  And I know we all have similar stories from accidentally rolling an automatic car window on a Buyer's hand to finding strange cars parked in the driveway in the middle of the day when the other spouse is at work or out-of-town, and you have an appointment to show the house!!  Time does get away from you, doesn't it?!  What else can you say?

I think we can all write a book.

This is really a mortgage story- (I am also a mortgage broker).  One Sunday, a lawyer friend of mine, in a small firm (I was the "official" real estate broker for the entire firm- which was two lawyers and one full tiime and one part time secretary) and I met to discuss  an  upcoming closing of an estate condo.

The attorney was wearing a pair of shorts, tee shirt and sandals.  (The office was a block from the beach)  I was wearing slacks and a sport shirt.  The door was open, and an older man (looked to be about 70 or so) walked in- asking" is there a lawyer present?".  The laawwyer said, "yes"; the man then turned to me, and asked if I do foreclosures.  (He was carrying a large file).  The attorney said, "yes:, and the man continued to address me--he had a 2ND,3RD, 4Th, and about 10 or 15 (no exaggeration) other mortgages on a waterfront property, (I have never- beofre or since- seen or heard of a property with about 20 or so mortgages).  Most were small- several hundred dollars to a thousand or two. The attorney reviewed the paperwork - all were signed by the owners (husband and wife), and recorded.  The attorney then asked, " why all of these small amounts?"  "To me, " he continued, " it looks like you are a small time drug dealer, and these were small time dope deals".  (This was Miami).  The man looked hurt and upset.  He took his papers and screamed, "how dare you, how dare you call me a drug dealer.  I am a pimp.  These bills were unpaid when I provided- depending upon what they wanted, a guy or a girl for a threesome".

He stormed out of the office.  Never to return.

But, the story had a happy ending- I knew the owners name and address, and stopped by- omitting the man- and offered to refinance their home- which I did.  (I said I was looking through tax records- the Internet was not yet what it is now  and came across all  of the encumberances).

This is not funny- but a feel good story.

I was asked by a PMI firm to do a bpo, and also see the interior- thre was a tenant.  The PMI firm gave me a phone number, and I called one evening.  The tenant was a pleasant lady, and invited me to come over the following evening.

Now, a few weeks before there was a major college football game, and the hero was a small, substitute ( who rarely played) and (as I recall) he intercepted a pass and returned it for the winning tochdown-.

He became a local hero, and the fact that he was small (well under 6') added to the glory.

Anyhow, I go to the condo, and there is the lady I spoke to, and her mother, who was in her 70's or so.  And about a dozen photos of the hero in the game mentioned above.  I inquired, why all of the pictures.  The woman said that he is ehr nephew-her mother's eeldest grandson.  I suggested that she might want to buy the unit- and she was for it.

I called the PMI firm, and then we had a 3 way with the lender (portfolio lender- anyone besides me rememebr them?).  I told the lender the situationm, and my values. In passing, I mentioned that the woman and her mother were the aunt and grandmother of X, the hero of the game.  The lender then said--"OK, here is the deal- if the PMI firm approves- price $Y ( my bpo price-which was accurate); the lender will finance 90-95%; will eat closing costs; only pre-paids and down payment,  IF THE WOMAN WOULD GET AT LEAST 1 AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF THE HERO (of the football game)  with something to show it was to his young son.  This was the strangest thing (condition) I ever heard of, and asked why- before the pmi firm could.  The resposne- his son was a runt- small, very small, for his age; other kids always made fun of him.  When this guy became the hero-of the game, he bacame this bank official son's hero and idol- and role model- if this small guy can do this to win a football game, he ( the bank official's kid) can do anything.

Deal closed; I got a full (double/both sides) commission; all were happy.  (The football player gave about 6 or 10 pictures, all in different poses, all signed in BLUE ink, so all could see that they were real and not photocopies.  I think the player also met the kid, to give him a pep talk.

This is not funny- but a feel good story.

I was asked by a PMI firm to do a bpo, and also see the interior- thre was a tenant.  The PMI firm gave me a phone number, and I called one evening.  The tenant was a pleasant lady, and invited me to come over the following evening.

Now, a few weeks before there was a major college football game, and the hero was a small, substitute ( who rarely played) and (as I recall) he intercepted a pass and returned it for the winning tochdown-.

He became a local hero, and the fact that he was small (well under 6') added to the glory.

Anyhow, I go to the condo, and there is the lady I spoke to, and her mother, who was in her 70's or so.  And about a dozen photos of the hero in the game mentioned above.  I inquired, why all of the pictures.  The woman said that he is ehr nephew-her mother's eeldest grandson.  I suggested that she might want to buy the unit- and she was for it.

I called the PMI firm, and then we had a 3 way with the lender (portfolio lender- anyone besides me rememebr them?).  I told the lender the situationm, and my values. In passing, I mentioned that the woman and her mother were the aunt and grandmother of X, the hero of the game.  The lender then said--"OK, here is the deal- if the PMI firm approves- price $Y ( my bpo price-which was accurate); the lender will finance 90-95%; will eat closing costs; only pre-paids and down payment,  IF THE WOMAN WOULD GET AT LEAST 1 AUTOGRAPHED PICTURE OF THE HERO (of the football game)  with something to show it was to his young son.  This was the strangest thing (condition) I ever heard of, and asked why- before the pmi firm could.  The resposne- his son was a runt- small, very small, for his age; other kids always made fun of him.  When this guy became the hero-of the game, he bacame this bank official son's hero and idol- and role model- if this small guy can do this to win a football game, he ( the bank official's kid) can do anything.

Deal closed; I got a full (double/both sides) commission; all were happy.  (The football player gave about 6 or 10 pictures, all in different poses, all signed in BLUE ink, so all could see that they were real and not photocopies.  I think the player also met the kid, to give him a pep talk.

Now read in your best Paul Harvey voice. LOL. I cant wait to tell at the next NTR outing....

Now read in your best Paul Harvey voice. LOL. I cant wait to tell at the next NTR outing....