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Building your Data Base Tyler Durden Style (Diary of a RE Agent Starting Over in a New City - Part 1)

By
Real Estate Agent with BrokerInTrust Real Estate Cal BRE #01345507

When I moved to LA from NY eight years ago I only knew one person in the entire city.  I had been selling real estate for about fifteen years in NY so I knew the real estate business.  But how was I supposed to start over in a place where I knew no one?  I joined an independent Real Estate firm and depended on up-calls for the first few months.  I was making a living, but I certainly wasn't keeping myself in the manner that I was accustomed to.  I needed drastic measures.

The year was 1999 and I was sitting in the theater watching The Fight Club....I'll never forget it.  The narrator in the movie, played by Edward Norton, has insomnia.  His doctor refuses to write him a prescription and instead recommends that he visit a support group for testicular cancer sufferers to appreciate real suffering.  This seems to cure his sleeplessness and now Norton is hooked on a different support group every night. 

OK, so as sick as this might seem, a light goes off in my head!  Joining a support group would be a great way to meet people and network and get real estate leads.  So I started searching for support groups to join.  First I went to an Alanon meeting.  I figured, I'd known enough alcohol abusers in my life to qualify.  So I went and sat through the meeting.  The people were super nice and friendly and I actually learned quite a bit.  So I went to another meeting the next night and then the next.  After a few evenings of this, I realized that the members were there to talk about their issues and that I'd have to hang out there a long time to make friends and gain contacts, so I moved on.  I just didn't have enough connection to this group.

I'd always heard that the three life events that inspire people to buy or sell a home are the birth of a child, death and divorce.  OK, so I wasn't pregnant and was too old to get pregnant so a Lamaze class was out of the question. And lurking in the maternity ward seemed like ambulance chasing for the desperate real estate agent so that was out.  And, I didn't really think it was appropriate to hang around in bereavement support groups, although I did think about this for just a moment. 

But....the reason that I had left NY in the first place was because I was getting divorced....so I immediately started searching for a divorce support group.  I found one in my local area and joined.  I nervously walked in to my first meeting and was surrounded by a group of about 20 people in all different stages of divorce.  The group was run by a psychologist and had a structured topic the first hour, but the second hour was basically an open discussion.  When the participants started their open discussion I was amazed.  I had so much in common with these people.  I had come to the group to generate leads, but had found kindred spirits.

OK, so now I solved my friendship problem but what about my lead generation and data base building?  Here's where it gets interesting.  This group met once a week and because I was genuinely involved and had a lot in common, the friendships naturally grew.  And yes, these people really did have to sell houses, and get new ones.  And yes, it was a difficult time in their lives, but guess what?  Since I was in the same place in my life, I understood and could handle their transactions with compassion and understanding.  Did I get leads? Yep, Did I sell houses? Yes.  But I also got a lot more than I bargained for.  I made dear friends, and I met the friends of friends.  I networked naturally, and became a member of a new city.

The moral of this story is two fold:

1. Make lemons into lemonade.  Take whatever is happening in your life and make the best of it.  Take the lessons from your problems not the baggage.  Shhhhhsh, pay attention to the people that you meet along the way, they have clues and answers but you'll only hear them if you listen.

2. Networking to build your database is a great idea, but join groups that you're really interested in.  This is a people business and people do business with people that they like and can relate to.  We're not used car salesman, we're so much more than that.  Think out of the box, and don't be afraid to try all sorts of groups, you'd be amazed as to what's available in your own town.

Stay tuned to my blog, I will write part two of this story tomorrow.  I did some other very interesting and unusual things when I first came to town to build may data base.

Comments (44)

Brian Brady
Matthews Capital Markets - Tampa, FL
858-699-4590
Great networking story.  Today, you could go to meetup.com and find an interest group
Jul 18, 2007 03:09 AM
Tim Tanz
Platinum Realty - Saint Louis, MO
St Louis Real Estate
Great post!  I look forward to the next installment...
Jul 18, 2007 03:14 AM
Tracey Thomas
BrokerInTrust Real Estate - Calabasas, CA
CA Real Estate Broker

Katerina -Another little "plus" about starting over in a new city is that you don't know the other agents, so you're not intimidated by working someone else's farm.  You don't know whose toes you're stepping on so you just "get er done"!

Rich -Thanks! Fight club is a classic and I've watched it several times on DVD since that first time in the theater.

Darrel, Ashley, Kaushik, Miriam -If you just build the data base a little every day, you'd be surprised what you can accomplish in a year.  Thanks for reading.

Todd -It's all about taking action.  Sometimes it's just easier to think about why not instead of focusing on why! I'd love to read your book.

Jo, Diane, Cynthia, Luther - Thanks for your comments.

Judy Ann - You are so right.  Don't be a SECRET AGENT!

Joe - We need to prune our data base and add to it continually.  It only gererates leads if it's watered and fed continually. 

Debbie - I seriously considered this option.

Scott -Haha, well I only live 15 miles from Hollywood, so you just never know.

Michael -  I also joined the Chamber of Commerce. the PTA and my HOA, but found that 90% of the other members were real estate agents too. 

Lizette - Reinventing myself in a new place has been a great opportunity.  I am a single Mom, so failure was never an option, I had another mouth to feed.

Griselda - You are so right, attitude IS everything!  People spot a phony a mile away.

Diane -It's so important to do things that you love, it just makes everything so much easier.

Mitchell - You have no idea how right you are!  I do NOT like the cold weather at all and I love, LOVE, the weather here in LA. I have a palm tree in my yard and look at it every single day in awe.

Tina - Thanks for stopping by, this is my very first featured post.

Jul 18, 2007 03:18 AM
Freddie Castaneda
Beechwood Realty - San Jacinto, CA
San Jacinto Valley Real Estate

Tracey, Great post. I saw this post to be very inspiring to go out and look for business.  I have never thought about making the issues that are going on in my life and turning them into a positive thing.

Once again thank you

Jul 18, 2007 03:50 AM
Sally K. & David L. Hanson
EXP Realty 414-525-0563 - Brookfield, WI
WI Real Estate Agents - Luxury - Divorce
  This just reminds me of a funny story....my sister moved from the east coast to California and she too was looking to meet people...not as clients or customers but to form friendships so she decided that taking classes would be the thing to do.  My sister is an attractive, bright attorney....the down side is absolutely not a lick of common sense.....So she enrolled in a class that taught signing for the deaf and wondered why no one would talk to her...Honest...it's the truth....Really....Enjoy !
Jul 18, 2007 05:24 AM
Cindy Lin
Staged4more School of Home Staging - South San Francisco, CA
Host, The Home Staging Show podcast

I miss Bob :) oh and Brad Pitt makes everything better.

Tracey, I think this is an AMAZING story. What a great way to turn a negative experience into a very positive one for  you! Not only you started to heal emotionally, you also met people who will support you and in need of your services. This is so great to hear from you. :HUGS:

Cheers,

Cindy 

Jul 18, 2007 06:04 AM
Anonymous
Anonymous
Tracey thank you for sharing your story.  I too am starting in a new state and starting to build my career all over again for the third time.  I've found it more difficult to build a business in LA than any other state I've practiced in.  I've noticed that this is a networking place more than anything else.  My husband is an executive for a major studio and I thought with all of our connections I would get leads, but so far it hasn't worked on my behalf.

I'm finding that I work very hard for every lead and unfortunately few ever really do anything soon.

Good luck to you and thank you for sharing.

Jul 18, 2007 08:18 AM
#30
Brian Brumpton
Keller Williams Boise - Boise, ID
Boise Idaho Real Estate

Tracey,

This is a great post, and you definitely used some creativity for lead generating.  I'm glad to hear you found more int he support group than just lead generating.  I'm sure if that was all you were ultimately interested in it would have been transparent and not nearly as successful.

Jul 18, 2007 11:50 AM
Mike Russell
Mike Russell Real Estate Group - Overland Park, KS
Overland Park Kansas Real Estate
Since I just moved to KC from Denver, I will be very interested in reading your experiences. I am sure that there will be a lot to learn.
Jul 18, 2007 01:32 PM
Lanre-"THE REAL ESTATE FARMER" Folayan
Samson Properties - Bowie, MD
I don't make promises.I deliver results.SOLD HOMES
Great post. Thank you very much. I am always trying to find ways to build my database and find new clients.
Jul 18, 2007 02:46 PM
Bob & Carolin Benjamin
Benjamin Realty LLC - Gold Canyon, AZ
East Phoenix Arizona Homes
It's very difficult to begin again in a new city. All of your contacts and referrals are where you left them when you moved. You have done a great job. Congratulations on all your hard work and effort. And thanks for the interesting post.
Jul 18, 2007 06:20 PM
Kat DeLong
Realty ONE Group Mountain Desert - Prescott, AZ
REALTOR

Thanks for sharing your story--very inspirational!  I'm so impressed. 

 

Jul 19, 2007 12:00 AM
Angela Allen
WickedWriter.com - Danville, KY
Marketing Specialist

Tracey - I loved Fight Club (but seldom admit that in polite company). I must say your writing style is entertaining and your story is compelling, but I was most impressed with the way you conveyed the importance of networking.

I've seen many posts and articles on this topic, but none with an explanation as effective as yours!

Jul 19, 2007 02:39 AM
Geno Petro
GenoPetro.House - Chicago, IL

Tracey...thanks for commenting on my recent post. Also, I enjoyed reading this piece. You rock...

Geno

Jul 19, 2007 08:26 AM
Bob Sloop, Consultant, Indianapolis, IN
RS Mortgage Consulting - Indianapolis, IN
See, shyness gets you a star, great post. LOL
Jul 20, 2007 01:35 PM
Diane Velikis
Coldwell & Banker Busch Real Estate - Luzerne, PA
Luzerne County Real Estate
Great story! Terrific writing ability tells me that you will have NO TROUBLE making friends! I can't wait for part 2
Jul 25, 2007 08:39 AM
Mike Jones
SUNSTREET MORTGAGE, LLC (BK-0907366, NMLS 145171) - Tucson, AZ
Mike Jones NMLS 223495
Just found this post, and am two days old in Active Rain.  As soon as I thank you, I'm off to read the second part.  What do you use to maintain and track your databast?
Jul 25, 2007 11:03 PM
Jason Crouch
Austin Texas Homes, LLC - Austin, TX
Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653)
This is a truly terrific post.  Thanks for writing it -
Aug 04, 2007 05:30 PM
Olena Osipov
Maple Ridge, BC

Tracey, thank you! I recently moved and this morning it just hit me "I have to join local moms and tots group". We'll have fun, meet more people and build relationship. Thank you! I have found this post just on time.

Feb 23, 2009 03:19 PM
Larry Lawfer
YourStories Realty Group - Newton, MA
"I listen for a living." It's all about you.

This is such a fantastic truth wrapped up in a beautifully written story. Thank you.

Jul 02, 2014 07:40 AM