Special offer

Q.U.I.L.T. ing

By
Home Inspector with Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC 3380-000723

Look at your roof.  Now, are you really satisfied?  Do you have the proudest roof in YOUR neighborhood?  Or is it less desirable?  Are the shingles curling?  Or rough?  Are some missing?  Or are they just not what you expect in this spot or that?

If not, what could you do about it anyway?  Call a roofer?  Sure, and take out a home loan!

How would you like to spruce that roof up by yourself!? What if it was as easy a wrapping a warm security blanket over your house?

Hi, Billy Jays here!  It's time to introduce you to Q.U.I.L.T. ing!

 

Q. uadrate

U. ntil

I. t

L. ooks

T. errific!

 

It's quick!

It's easy!

It's long lasting!

And you can add to it time and time again!  If you see a spot you don't like, just break out another roll!

For just $4.44 a roll you can buy just one, or a dozen!  You decide what you need!  If you want, we will conveniently break your order into seven easy payments of $1.11! 

Select your color from our professional pallet to blend the rolls right in!  Then, just climb onto your roof and start Q.U.I.L.T. ing! Climb down, look up and see the results of your work!  Your neighbors will probably stop by to ask you about what you have done.  Imagine how proud you will be as you tell them you did it yourself!

Each roll is shipped direct to your door with its own can of tar that you can use to glue it down and create a lovely seam, just like a quilt!  And the kit will come with two different spatulas so you can make those seams as wide or as narrow as you want!  A convenient instruction manual will offer design suggestions.  Your can roll out your new Q.U.IL.T. in any pattern you want!  You decide!  You're the boss!

So call now!  Our polite and knowledgeable phone consultants are standing by!

But wait!  If you call now, because we can't do this all day, I will throw in a second can of tar that you can use to seal around the gutter or chimney!  Use it however you want!  It's yours for free!

Soon you'll be saying, "I can Q.U.I.L.T. too!"

So call now!

 

My recommendation:  Or call a roofer.  They might be able to help too...

 

 

Posted by

Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC  

Based in Bristow, serving all of Northern Virginia.

Office (703) 330-6388   Cell (703) 585-7560

www.jaymarinspect.com


Comments (25)

Kate Kate
San Diego, CA

Roofer? No need. Top Billy Jays' tar with a splash of SqGoo and get through spring rains in tact.

(Billy, I've got to send you a complimentary can of SqGoo)

Mar 12, 2010 11:29 PM
Bill Saunders, Realtor®
Meyers Realty - Hot Springs, AR
www.BillSellsHotSprings.com

Billy Jay, You should have used all caps, because you need to shout more when you are pitching these fine services and products!

If you use a mixture of SqGoo and tar, there's no need for that pesky step flashing around chimneys either (that was free info to help your new company).

Mar 13, 2010 12:15 AM
Bill Saunders, Realtor®
Meyers Realty - Hot Springs, AR
www.BillSellsHotSprings.com

Wait!!! I looked at the chimney in the photo...and there it is!!!

Mar 13, 2010 12:16 AM
Charles Buell
Charles Buell Inspections Inc. - Seattle, WA
Seattle Home Inspector

Jay, it comes with a guarantee to lower your taxes too?

Mar 13, 2010 12:59 AM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Completely quadrated, S&D, I think there would be some fine curb appeal going on there!

Nana - does it come in fine colors?

Bill - come on! Who uses flashing anymore! And, you should know, Billy says he doesn't yell but speaks just right to get your attention.

Charlie - it is sure to lower one's assessment, which will lower the taxes!

 

How many of you had to look up the word "quadrate?"  It means to arrange in a square-ish pattern.  Perfect!

 

Mar 13, 2010 10:46 AM
R Cho
Las Cruces, NM
R

Is it solar reflective? 

Mar 13, 2010 10:58 AM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

The lighter colors are Ron!

Mar 13, 2010 11:33 AM
Ellie McIntire
Ellicott City Clarksville Howard County Maryland Real Estate - Ellicott City, MD
Luxury service in Central Maryland

Is there a tax credit on this? Maybe a $10 rebate! They will all be lining up!

Mar 13, 2010 01:20 PM
Andy Chaudoir
Professional Inspection Services - Georgetown, Texas - Georgetown, TX
Your Home Inspection Connection in Central Texas

Hello Jay - What a mess.  I hope you didn't have to inspect that one.

Mar 13, 2010 03:22 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Ellie - they all line up for Billy Jays.

Come on, Andy!  These are really fun!

Mar 13, 2010 09:27 PM
James Quarello
JRV Home Inspection Services, LLC - Wallingford, CT
Connecticut Home Inspector

Inspecting a roof like that is easy...call in a roofer to replace the quadrated mess.

Mar 13, 2010 11:41 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

A regular quadratic equation, huh Jim?  Those inspections are easy!

Mar 14, 2010 12:23 AM
Not a real person
San Diego, CA

That's too funny, Jay. I've seen tiling, but never quilting.

Repaired roof

_________
Come join the fun in ActiveRain's Guerrilla Marketing Team Contest.

Mar 14, 2010 03:06 AM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Who knows, Russel, maybe tiling preceded quilting!  It does seem similar in product and technique!  And for a short while it probably works just fine...

Mar 14, 2010 03:13 AM
Steven L. Smith
King of the House Home Inspection, Inc. - Bellingham, WA
Bellingham WA Home Inspector

Jay,

Then the client says: "I will be very interested to hear what you think about the roof." Heck you know that as an inspector soon as you see it. You will not be giving it high marks.

Mar 14, 2010 04:50 AM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

I didn't give it high marks, Steve, but Billy Jays loved the technique, concept and low cost of the materials and ran with it.  Go figure...

Mar 14, 2010 12:09 PM
Kate Kate
San Diego, CA

Billy Jays, if Grampsies gets a grandson, SqGoo will come in olive and navy. If he gets a granddaughter, in peach and lavender.

Mar 14, 2010 02:10 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Excellent!  I'll go with that. 

By the way, the name is Pah Pah...

Mar 14, 2010 02:28 PM
Eric Middleton
Closer Look Property Inspections Inc. - Uniondale, NY
Professional Property Inspector

Jay- I have never seen anything like that, did you talk to the owners. What was their thinking?

Mar 15, 2010 02:22 PM
Jay Markanich
Jay Markanich Real Estate Inspections, LLC - Bristow, VA
Home Inspector - servicing all Northern Virginia

Eric - their thinking was cheap and quick!  The tar between the sheets of shingle does not last long, but they probably don't realize that. 

Mar 15, 2010 09:37 PM