Happy St Patrick's. Hoist a toast along with a few chuckles.

Paddy and Murphy are working on a building site.
Paddy says to Murphy,
"I'm gonna have the day off, I'm gonna pretend I'm mad!"
 
He climbs up the rafters , hangs upside down and shouts
"I'M A LIGHT BULB,  I'M A LIGHT BULB!"   

Murphy watches in amazement.  
The Foreman shouts "Paddy you're mad, go home"   
So he leaves the site.
 
Murphy starts packing his kit up to leave as well.
 
"Where the hell are you going?" asks the Foreman.
 
"I can't work in the dark." says Murphy.

  
 
   
Paddy takes his new wife to bed on their wedding night.

She undresses, lies on the bed spread-eagled and says
"You know what I want don't you ?" 
"Yeah," says Paddy.
"The whole friggin' bed by the looks of it."  

  
 
  
 
Paddy and his wife are lying in bed and the neighbours' dog
is barking like mad in the garden. Paddy says
"To hell with this."  and storms off.
 
He comes back upstairs 5 minutes later and his wife asks
"What did you do?"
 
Paddy replies "I've put the dog in our garden.
Let's see how they like it!"
      
+ 
  
 
Mick and Paddy are reading headstones at a cemetery.

Mick say "Crikey, there's a bloke here who was 152!"
 
Paddy says "What's his name ?"
 
Mick replies "Miles, from London."

Happy St Paddy's Day and have a green beer on me.