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Friday Funnies: Attorney and Little Old Lady

By
Real Estate Agent with HomeStarr Realty RS143922A

 

friday funnies:Attorney and little old ladyDefense Attorney: Will you please state your age?

Old Lady:
I am 94 years old.

Defense Attorney:
Will you tell us, in your own words,

what happened the night of April 1st?

Old Lady:
There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch,

 on a warm spring evening, when a young man came creeping

up on the porch and sat down beside me.

Defense Attorney:
Did you know him?

Old Lady:
No, but he sure was friendly.

Defense Attorney:
What happened after he sat down?

Old Lady:
He started to rub my thigh.

friday funnies:Attorney and little old lady

 

 


Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him?

Old Lady:
No, I didn't stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Little Old Lady:
It felt good.

Nobody had done that since my Albert died some 30 years ago.

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
He began to rub all over of my body.

Defense Attorney:
Did you stop him then?

Old Lady:
No, I did not stop him.

Defense Attorney:
Why not?

Old Lady:
His rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I hadn't felt that good in years!

Defense Attorney:
What happened next?

Old Lady:
Well, by then, I was feeling so 'spicy' that I just lay down and told him "Take me, young man. Take me now!"

Defense Attorney:
Did he take you?

Old Lady:
Hell, no! He just yelled, "April Fool!"

And that's when I shot the little bastard!

 

 

author unknown                                             sent by annie

Posted by

Hannah Williams is known throughout Philadelphia as HelpfulHannah – and if you’ve spent more than five minutes with her, you know exactly why. She’s an expert at anticipating people’s needs, she has a real feel for real estate, and she’s an accomplished problem-solver.

Hannah has been helping people buy and sell homes all over Philadelphia since 1984. Many of her clients purchased their first, second and even third homes with her expert help, and Hannah wouldn’t have it any other way.

HelpfulHannah.com

(215) 820-3376
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My Blog

 

James Downing - Metro DC Houses Team REALTORS®, CRS, GRI, ABR,MRP, MilRes
Real Living | At Home - Washington, DC
When Looking to Buy or Sell - Make the Right Move

OH MY!  That is sooo funny.  I love your Friday funnies!

Mar 19, 2010 03:04 PM
Leslie Prest
Leslie Prest, Prest Realty, Sales and Rentals in Payson, AZ - Payson, AZ
Owner, Assoc. Broker, Prest Realty, Payson,

Sounds like a justifiable cause to me! That's very funny.

Mar 20, 2010 04:17 AM
Ed Silva, 203-206-0754
Mapleridge Realty, CT 203-206-0754 - Waterbury, CT
Central CT Real Estate Broker Serving all equally

Hannah, all things being equal, it was probably deserved. Get all ready for a party and nothing happens

Mar 20, 2010 12:04 PM
Debbie Walsh
SHAHAR Management - Middletown, NY
Hudson Valley NY Real Estate 845.283-3036

That was a good one Hannah!

Mar 20, 2010 12:45 PM
Steve Merson 512 412 1621
Keller Williams Realty - Austin, TX
CNE, e-PRO

Hi Hannah,

That's just hilarious. LOL. Think I may have heard it before but it still cracked me up!!!

Steve

Mar 22, 2010 03:39 AM
John Cannata
214-728-0449 http://TexasLoanGuy.com - Frisco, TX
Texas Home Mortgage - Purchase or Refinance

Thats so funny. Didnt see it being an April Fools joke.

Mar 22, 2010 04:36 PM
Baker Home Inspection and Commercial Properties Inspections
Baker Residential and Commercial Properties Inspections - Springfield, VT
Home and Commercial Properties Inspections Vermont

Howdy and evenen there Hannah

This sure was a mighty good one, thank you kindly for the hoot of a post to read.

Baker Home and Commercial Properties Inspections

Mar 23, 2010 10:39 AM
Patricia Kennedy
RLAH@properties - Washington, DC
Home in the Capital

Hannah, if I were on her jury, I'd say this was justifiable homicide!

Mar 23, 2010 01:41 PM
Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED
RETIRED / State License is Inactive - Portland, OR

That's hilarious!  I didn't see that ending. 

Mar 23, 2010 06:42 PM
Mirela Monte
Buyers' Choice Realty - North Myrtle Beach, SC
Myrtle Beach Real Estate

Good one!

Now featured on the Optimist Group.

Mar 25, 2010 05:19 PM
Michael J. Perry
KW Elite - Lancaster, PA
Lancaster, PA Relo Specialist

You got me ! I didn't see this one coming !!!!(*L*) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mar 25, 2010 10:34 PM
Anna "Banana" Kruchten
HomeSmart Real Estate - Phoenix, AZ
602-380-4886

LOL It's 4:00 in the freaking morning and I'm having fun reading all the jokes!  Thanks Hannah - I didn't see that on coming either.

Mar 25, 2010 11:20 PM
Lottie Kendall
Compass - San Francisco, CA
Helping make your real estate dreams a reality

Wow, you reminded me that April Fool's Day is just around the corner. Thanks for the morning laugh.

Mar 26, 2010 01:29 AM
Lyn Sims
Schaumburg, IL
Real Estate Broker Retired

It's just around the corner! Thanks for the giggle.

Mar 26, 2010 01:39 AM
Steve Loynd
Alpine Lakes Real Estate Inc., - Lincoln, NH
800-926-5653, White Mountains NH

You have to be prepared to close the deal, once an offer is made...no fooling around with lonely old lady.

Mar 26, 2010 01:39 AM
Robert Rauf
CMG Home Loans - Toms River, NJ

Hannah, I did not see that coming!  Thanks for the friday fun!

Mar 26, 2010 02:49 AM
Tamara Perlman
Referral Network Inc. - Truckee, CA

Hi Hannah--Like Rob--I didn't see that coming!  Like Steve said "be prepared to close the deal!"

Mar 26, 2010 04:11 AM
Connie Harvey
Pilkerton Realtors - Brentwood, TN
Realtor - Nashville TN Real Estate

OMG that was great! I need to work up something good for April Fools. Great reminder.

Mar 26, 2010 07:34 AM
Christina ONeal
At Home Real Estate Group - Ripon, CA
Realtor - Ripon California

thats scary stuff :)  love it...

Apr 09, 2010 06:00 PM
Nick T Pappas
Assoc. Broker ABR, CRS, SFR, e-Pro, @Homes Realty Group, Broker/Providence Property Mgmnt, LLC Huntsville AL - Huntsville, AL
Madison & Huntsville Alabama Real Estate Resource

Hannah, the last two of your jokes that I read are at the top of my list for grins...very funny.

Apr 10, 2010 04:08 PM