I AM NOT ADVOCATING YOU DOING THIS BUT EARLY IN MY REAL ESTATE CAREER...I STARTED EATING WHILE DRIVING WITHOUT HANDS
It all started many years ago when I applied for and received my Real Estate License. I immediately got involved (and very busy) doing second Trust Deed loans, Property Management, BPO.s and inspections. I found myself on the road for the better part of the day. This went on for years and I picked up a peculiar habit on the way.....namely eating while I drive. There just wasn't enough time in the day to stop and eat. Time was money and not to be wasted. Things had to get done. Deadlines had to be honored and kept.
WHAT PEOPLE WERE DOING DRIVING...
It wasn't uncommon to see people singing, shaving, playing the harmonica, or eating at that time (years ago) while driving. I have done them all BTW. I also would be be making notes, answering my phone, changing the radio or music as well as checking my agenda and directions while I was trying to eat.
THE KNEES KICKED IN.......
I soon discovered that I can free up my hands for all those chores and delegate my KNEES to the steering of my vehicle. KNEE driving or driving using your KNEES. At first, it was awkward and I remember doing it the first time accidentally. But, I noticed that it worked and I continued to explore KNEE driving. I am not one to boast, but I must state that I became very good at it even to the point of adjusting the seat and steering wheel so that my KNEES were at optimum position.
FREE AT LAST TO REALLY EAT......
This also enabled me to eat different foods and not just sandwiches simply because I now had the use of my hands. I experimented with alot of different foods some being riskier than others.
NOT RECCOMENDED for KNEE driving while eating
1. BBQ ribs. I did it, I liked it, but I got sauce all over the steering wheel, radio controls and it wasn't worth having to spend time cleaning up after-wards.
2. Combo meals that require knife and fork went well, but very distracting. More times than not, I would spear the food and while eating a balanced meal, it wasn't easy to balance the car.
3. Anything that leaks such as a burrito that wasn't folded properly. fries with ketchup, chili or Cole slaw.
4. Hot soup while good is dangerous. Many times I spilled and leaped out of the seat to avoid CROTCH burn.
After a while, I added bath towels to my experience. Picture me tucking in a full body towel under my chin that goes down to my lap. This worked but didn't look well to other drivers plus my dry cleaning bill went up.
NOT RECCOMENDED for KNEE driving while driving
1. Any full right or full left turns using your KNEES. Ahhh youth. I tried it a few times, but let me tell you that your whole life flashes before you. It is just not worth it.
2. NO U-turns.....this can cause you to pull a knee tendon or dislocate a kneecap if something goes wrong not to mention what it must look like from another drivers point of view. They are thinking...whats he doing?
RECCOMENDED KNEE driving currently:
1. Mild Steering of the car while I am doing minimum, lightweight maneuvers such as cleaning my glasses, reaching into the glove compartment, changing the radio or music, checking directions or agenda or making a notation. To this day my wife grabs the wheel not knowing that I was once a pro KNEE driver. Also, she doesnt want to hear it either.
WHAT PEOPLE THOUGHT...
At the time I was doing this, I had mixed reactions from people who rode with me. Some thought it brilliant and others grabbed the wheel while freaking out. I know I changed peoples life in that moment. My friends thought it was cool.
EPILOGUE OF A KNEE driver....
Such was my devotion to my new trade.... my version of saving time and getting things done while eating and driving. I never got into an accident, but I have had cars where you could not get the smell of food out of them. I would discover old pickles, onions, fries, napkins, chili and old wrappers mixed with pens, coins and notes under the seat and carpets.
Marriage changed all that, but that is a different subject for another blog....
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