When we have a setback, when we experience pain - emotional, psychological, financial - the energy that the pain creates is often the wake-up call we need in order to reinvent and transform our lives.
When something occurs that causes deep pain, what happens next is a new awareness that emerges in that moment. It's in that moment we are most likely to act - when we feel the greatest amount of pain. This is the point where we have the greatest opportunity for growth and change. I love to call it the "reinvention moment."
The opportunity in this moment to reinvent yourself - to press the "Control-Alt-Delete button" on your life - is at its pinnacle when the pain is the greatest. When that moment occurs, if you choose instead to get stuck in the pain and use that occurrence to dramatize, catastrophize and blame, you can spin down for a minute, for hours, for days or even years. Everything depends on how you handle that moment.
I'm going to tell you about one of my reinvention moments. A number of months ago I was in a romantic relationship with Bimila, which turned into a divine friendship. Not long after that, I walked into my gym where I'd been working out for the last six years. I saw Bimila with her new boyfriend and in that moment, I experienced psychological pain and emotional pain. And in that moment, I had a choice: How was I going to react or respond? I could react negatively or I could respond creatively.
The pain was so intense that I actually stepped outside the gym and closed my eyes. I took a deep breath, went inside myself, and asked, "What is the highest version of myself going to do now?" And a small voice within me said, "Find a new place to work out. Reinvent your entire exercise program."
It was almost as if I was divinely led across the street to a new gym called PHYSYKS. I walked over to PHYSYKS, and standing at the door was a young man. We introduced ourselves and I said, "Robert, right now I'm experiencing some pain, and what I want to do is take that pain and channel it to create an entirely new exercise program. I want to work out every morning at 5am and I want to do something I've never done before." Robert smiled a big Cheshire Cat smile and said, "You've come to the right place."
And the reinvention began.
As a direct result of the moment that I was experiencing the pain, I found Robert Budd. And now, five months later, I'm working out every morning at 5am with Robert, swinging kettlebells.
You don't have to be great all the time, but you need to be clear and creative when adversity and problems and challenges occur.
What I've learned is that when I react to negativity, it usually means I'm going to blame or I'm going to resist or I'm going to finger-point or I'm going to punish others or I'm going to avoid others, and I'm going to learn nothing about myself. But instead of the blaming or finger-pointing or punishing, what I learned was that I didn't have to experience the pain; I could take that tension and reinvent myself.
So how do you know you're reacting to negativity in a way that dooms you to repeat it over and over again? You'll know that you're reacting to pain in a negative way when things get confusing and complex. When things get more confusing and more complex, you will start to lose your focus. For me, to stick around the gym and watch the two new lovebirds was not going to make my life simpler and more fun. It was going to make my life more complex and more complicated.
How do you know that you've mastered reinvention? Because you'll notice that life becomes increasingly more fun, simpler, and you learn to use that negative energy as fuel to reinvent. The greatest fuel is 100% responsibility to release all your creativity. Responsibility reinvents. Responsibility is when you learn to love problems and negativity and use them in a way for full creativity. It's easy to love success. It's easy to love life when it's going well. But the true secret is to love failure as much as you love success. History is filled with these stories. Abraham Lincoln failed over and over and over again and he continued to take that energy and turn it towards his presidency. Steven Jobs was fired from Apple Computer - the company he created - and was able to take that negative energy and start a company called Pixar.
So when you're faced with a negative situation and it creates friction for you, that friction is the energy you need to reinvent yourself. Yes, you can attempt to live a friction-free life. If you attempt to live a friction-free life, what you're doomed to do is repeat the past over and over again. For it's out of friction that you create the energy to reinvent yourself.
This month go out and find some friction, find a problem, and reinvent yourself.
On Your Team - Joe
www.MyByReferralOnly.com
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