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He Said To Me..............(for all the women out there - AND men with a sense of humor)

By
Real Estate Broker/Owner with Metro Life Homes RS-78439 / BRE #01708344

He said to me . ... . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it I said to him .... . . You wear pants don't you?

 

He said to me ... . ......... Shall we try swapping positions tonight? I said . That's a good idea - you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but fart

 

He said to me.. ... What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? I said to him . ..... Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

 

He said to me. ..... Why don't women blink during foreplay? I said to him .. . They don't have time.

 

He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? I said to him .. .. I don't know; it has never happened.

 

He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking? I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.

 

He said....What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? I said. . . A widow.

 

He said to me.... Why are married women heavier than single women? I said to him .. . . Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

 

Comments(9)

Dagny Eason
Dagny's Real Estate - Wilton, CT
Fairfield County CT, CDPE Homes For Sale and Condo

Thanks for the giggle for the morning!

Apr 21, 2010 11:30 PM
Don MacLean
New England Real Estate Center Inc. - Easton, MA
Realtor-Homes for Sale- Easton, Mass 02356

Very good,

I can fully admit i laughed at most

Enjoy the day

Apr 21, 2010 11:34 PM
Home Design
Alpharetta, GA
Home Design and Real Estate

Hilarious Ralph!  I love starting my day with a few laughs!

Apr 21, 2010 11:42 PM
Fernando Herboso - Associate Broker MD, & VA
Maxus Realty Group of Samson Properties - Clarksburg, MD
301-246-0001 Serving Maryland, DC and Northern VA

Very funny. .you covered all the bases. . .have a great day!

Apr 21, 2010 11:44 PM
Richard Iarossi
Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage - Crofton, MD
Crofton MD Real Estate, Annapolis MD Real Estate

Ralph,

One or two of these actually hit pretty close to home :)

Rich

Apr 21, 2010 11:44 PM
Dick and Dixie Sells
Sells Real Estate, LLC - Trinity, FL
Realtors, Tampa Bay Florida Homes For Sale

Ralph- Very good. thanks for starting out my day with a smile and a laugh!

Apr 21, 2010 11:54 PM
Richard Weeks
Dallas, TX
REALTOR®, Broker

Ralph,

Reading these was a good way to start my day.  Thanks for sharing.

 

Apr 22, 2010 12:33 AM
Lee & Carol Barbour, REALTORS
Murphy and Hayesville, NC; Hiawassee, Blairsville, Blue Ridge GA - Murphy, NC
Mountain Living Team in Murphy NC and North GA

Oh, that's a great way to laugh off the morning I've had!

Apr 22, 2010 05:38 AM
Tom Boos
Sine & Monaghan Realtors, Real Living - Grosse Pointe Farms, MI
Providing the very best of service to Sellers and

These are great, Ralph.  Thanks for the major chuckles this morning.  And, keep 'em comin'!

Apr 23, 2010 05:29 AM