...Pants On Fire!

Hi Kristen~  I have found some of the comments very interesting as well as your blog.  I feel that honesty is the best policy.  I am not perfect, but I do my best.  

I agree with Raine, I have gone a lot longer than 24 hrs. without lying, I believe in telling the truth always.   However, every once in a while , I might offer a  very slightly different version to suit the situation. Usually this is to keep from hurting someone's feelings.  However, this is not my norm.  The truth shall set us free!  Great post and I think it is awesome that you are able to do it consistently. 

Does fibbing about your age count as a lie?!?  HA HA HA  Didn't Jack Benny??

I am 100% ethical and I don't lie. Your scenario volunteers a little too much. Not necessarily required in sales. I would re-examine your thinking on this.

I wouldn't think of lying in a business situation, nor in most personal scenarios. It just goes against my personal ethics. But I also don't consider praising someone for the delicious meal they prepared to be a "lie," even if the meal was terrible and I could barely choke it down. There's no need to hurt feelings in an attempt at perfect honesty in a minor social situation. In my life, kindness in these situations trumps brutal honesty.

Sometimes even the most well-meaning honesty can come back to bite you.  A relative stopped speaking to us for years because we approached her with our concerns about her daughter's drinking. In the most loving, kind, understanding way, and from the perspective of parents who would want to know if their child had a similar problem, we explained why we were concerned and sugested that she check it out for herself.

Not only did she stop speaking to us, but she told everyone else in the family about this horrible incident as if we had done it specifically to hurt her and her child, and several other relatives thought we were pariahs as well. The upshot of all of this was not positive for anyone. The child never got any help with the problem, the mother hates us, and several other family members are still very distant. On balance, I would probably not do it again, knowing what I know now. It would not require lying, just not saying anything at all.

Sometimese honesty is not all it's cracked up to be. :-(

Agent Aron made some interesting points.  Kristen, you say you don't go around telling people this is your philosophy and yet you bragged  blogged to the world about it on ActiveRain......

I will reiterate what many others have said in their comments:

One should strive to conduct themselves with honesty and morality both in business and personal matters, but there is much to be said for tact which may require a "white lie" in order to not hurt someone whose feelings you care about.

Extremism regarding any facet or philosophy of your life is usually not a good thing.

Amy Hunter    Hearth & Home videos/photograhy Metrowest MA

In business transactions anything less than complete honesty is unacceptable to me. I do not appreciate any bit of lying, including statements like "There is another buyer ready to make an offer on this property" when there really isn't.

However, when it comes to issues like religion, politics and a person's appearance, I think a little bit of "white" lying is acceptable to get you through. Otherwise, you may not have many friends at the end of the day.

I try to be an honest person, but I admit I will fudge a little if it involves someone's feelings. I doubt that anyone can honestly say that they NEVER lie, though, unless you define a lie as something other than ANY type of deception...which could include saying NOTHING.

Very good discussion going on here seems a lot of hot button were hit.

Ahhh so much fun to read debate on AR then plain ole' bland posts.

The only time I intentionally lie is when someone asks me either , "How do you like my new .... OR Does this outfit make me look ...... (*L*) !!! In this case I don't believe I've been put on Earth to bring folks down !!!

We lie because we live in a fallen world where things do not work the way they should.  But lying is just one aspect of our lives.  We can choose to overcome any moral difficulty if we want to.  Kristen, you have done a good job stating your point and replying to tough responses at times.  Good blog!

I really try hard not to lie...well I do little white lies.....but have been trying to be totally honest.

I have probably lost business over the years because of being honest with people, but I am not going to candy coat something just to get a commission check.  As I train my agents...I always say to err on the side of honesty and integrity because you have to look in the mirror every morning and lay your head on your pillow at night and you better like who you see and what you feel at the end of the day.  Good post and so much truth here!

I have been fascinated with this post for a few days now, and have read mostly all of the comments. I just wanted to add my 2 cents to the conversation. I believe we can do damage by telling our friend that she looks nice in that dress when in our opinion she does not, I have made it a habit to say something to the effect of "I like the blue outfit you worn last week much better" this is honest and kind. As her question was asking for an opinion, someone else might view the dress on her and think it looks fantastic.

I have also seen, in my life, situations where one person will say that another person has lied. When in fact, they just had a different perspective on the situation. If you hold your hand up in front of you and in front of a friend standing across from you, then both describe what you are seeing, one of you will describe the top of the hand such as fingernails, knuckle joints and the like, meanwhile, the other person will describe the palm of the hand, finger prints and the like, neither person has lied. It is this kind of situation that, I think, we need to watch out for when making blanket statements about another person and their moral aptitude/fiber.

I make a conscious effort to be honest in every situation while trying to take the other person's feelings into account. I am far from perfect, but I do work on being an honest person. I have found that the people I enjoy most in my life do the same.

When dealing with business, I believe it is best to avoid opinions and if someone really wants one I state that it is only my own opinion, and get everything in writing.

Thanks for the enjoyable blog post and comments. By the way, didn't the notion of Santa originate from Saint Nicholas, who is real?

If someone REALLY wants to know, of course I would tactfully explain if the outfit is unflattering, if the hairstyle is awful, etc. But most of the time, people just want a little reassurance or a bit of a "stroke," and it's kind to let them have it--unless the dress, hair, etc., is truly scary (and most of the time it isn't).

I don't consider any of this type of communication to be "lying." As Elizabeth states, first of all it is mostly an opinion, which by its very nature isn't true OR false. And second, even if it is untrue to your private opinion, it isn't harmful or cruel in its intention. And that to me is the important thing about these personal situations.

Business issues are a whole different matter and demand stringent adherence to the truth as you know it. But again, it's possible for truth to have many aspects or faces, and you may only be seeing one of them. That's why the "as you know it" part is important. If you stick to the observable facts as much as possible, and identify your opinion as such when it is necessary to include it, IMO you're telling the truth as you know it.

No man and I mean NO MAN can be in any type of relationship with a woman without lying.  Any man that says otherwise....is lying.  There is no debating this point.

Really Damon? I mean"any type of relationship", really? Have you worked with females in real estate transactions?